


But I Can't Trace Time

by lasereraser



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, Other, POV Lavellan, POV Solas, Profanity, Smut, Trespasser spoilers?, this is an experiment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:26:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7673551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasereraser/pseuds/lasereraser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nina has two lives: one as Inquisitor Lavellan and one as Nina from Earth. What is this universe-hopper's mission? Save the Dread Wolf from himself, learn who or what she is, and maybe even save the world along the way.</p><p>ON HIATUS as of 11/26/16</p><p>Notes on the warnings: the graphic violence tag is there because I describe some of the bloody/gross fight scenes. But it's not *too* graphic. </p><p>If you find something is missing or have an idea for a tag I should add, feel free to comment!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking I'll update roughly every week. First two chapters are pretty long, but they get shorter after that. As soon as I start graduate school I'll have a better sense of things, but I'm getting enough written before it starts that I should be able to keep the schedule regular. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy!
> 
> Edit: I forgot to thank my editors, because I'm useless and scatterbrained like that: THANK YOU Lenny and Ruby!!!

She knew that what she was doing was foolish.

Out of all the universes to choose from, she ventured into the one where her fictional crush would break up with her- twice. Going to a universe to meet your fictional crush was, at least to her, in and of itself foolish (weren't there countless mysteries, lost histories, and myths she could witness and be a part of?), but she had made up her mind.

Besides, it was too late to go anywhere else. She was at the conclave and things were already in motion. Though she did wish she could have arrived in Thedas earlier. Beating dear Solas to the punch in retrieving his orb would have made for an excellent alternate universe, but she wanted to live the Inquisitor life, so here she would begin. This time.

The conclave itself was predictably a blur and before she knew it the searing of the anchor was pulling her from a restless sleep she couldn't remember starting. _That was fast. Also ow._ She quickly took in her surroundings, knowing where she would be and who would come to-

“Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now.”

Right on cue.

Cassandra marched in, each footstep a manifestation of her drive for justice, her rage. The brunette’s entire body screamed warrior, right down to the scars accenting her angular features. “The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.” The grief and fury in Cassandra’s voice sliced through her, and she wished for a second time she had arrived early enough to avert the horrific events she knew- no, that she _allowed_ to happen. _Good, Nina. Let your guilt ground you and remind you why you're here, what you must change. It's not all about Solas; it's for everyone._

Nina turned her head up towards Cassandra, her response to the Seeker’s next demand preemptively forming in her mouth.

“And you want me to explain _this?_ Well that's peachy because I'd like to explain what _this_ is, too.” She waved her glowing green hand around for emphasis. Or absurdity, given both her hands were bound and she realized she probably looked ridiculous.

Cassandra was not amused. Emphasis then, she decided.

“I can't. Explain it, that is. Not yet anyway, not while things are so unstable.”

The unspoken implication left Cassandra furious and ready to skip making demands and head straight for violence, so Nina tried to cut her off...and was beaten by Leliana. Pushing the determined woman aside with an effortless skill Nina instantly admired, Leliana calmed her by simply stating “We need her, Cassandra.”

Nina took her chance to interject and skip the next couple of lines. “More importantly I want to- I _will_ \- help in any way I can. Show me what needs to be done.” She didn't realize how anxious their stares would make her, but she kept her determination painted plainly on her face. She wouldn't waver, not now, not until the deed was done and her plans were complete.

There was a hopeful glint hiding in Cassandra's surprised eyes. “Then...you'll help us? You don't even know what is-”

“Whatever it takes.” Nina squared her shoulders, looking Cassandra dead in the eye before turning the same gaze towards Leliana. “You all need to show me something”-she barely managed to bite back the “y'all,” but that would simply not do right now- “so, why don't we split up? Leliana can head to the forward camp. Cassandra, I will accompany you. Is that agreeable?” She was hardly trying to hide that she knew everything. But if they were suspicious of her presumptuous behavior, they gave no visible indication.

“Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will show her the rift.” The two exchanged meaningful glances before Leliana nodded sharply.

_Finally. Let's get this show on the road!_

Before leaving, Leliana turned to Nina, eying her intently. “There is nothing you remember? No other information you can share now?”

Nina bit her lip, thinking. So two things. First, of _course_ Nightingale was suspicious. It was foolish to even consider the possibility that she wasn’t. Second, she still hadn't decided how to deal with this piece of information at this point in time. She didn't want to give them false hope. She wanted them to know about their beloved Divine but…it was simpler for them to believe she was saved by Andraste. And possibly crucial for her _and_ their survival. But she didn't want _them_ to view her as the Herald- only the people who needed to believe she was. So, she picked option number 3.

“I can't explain everything now, but I know I was in the fade and a woman- _I couldn’t tell who she was-_ saved me by pulling me out.”

“A woman…” Leliana trailed off, left in her thoughts. Nina was growing impatient. “By the way my name is Nina. Nice to meet you, but we should hurry. This ‘rift’ doesn't sound good.” She knew there would be more questions, but _that_ Nina had anticipated. She would answer Leliana’s questions fully, in time. And Cassandra’s. And Solas’. And probably Varric’s. If, of course, everything goes according to plan. Which it would. Right?

They went their separate ways. Nina could tell Cassandra was dying to pepper her with questions but would wait until Leliana, if not the entire soon-to-be war council, was present. Instead, Cassandra explained the rift and the Breach. Nina kept her responses brief. She screamed, mostly in surprise, as the Breach expanded and the anchor flared, sending a jolt of liquid electricity through her skin, to the muscles in her arm, and down to her very bones.

“Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads...and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this-” Nina interjected, “-but there isn’t much time, I know.”

Angry again, Cassandra asked, “ _How_ do you know?” Nina just shook her head as the last pinpricks of the anchor flare left her skin. There would be more- _much_ more- to talk about once the rest 3 of the companions joined them. “There isn’t enough time now, we have to move forward. Please, show me the rift and then I will explain everything. You have my word.” Cassandra eyed her warily but seemed placated enough and pulled her up- _when did I end up on the ground?_ \- and they continued their way through the camp.

Her first impressions of this new world outside her cell were of chaos, cold, and so many new smells. The chaos and cold she had anticipated but the _smells!_ As she walked through the camp, there was sweat, burning wood, some sort of meat roasting, the earthy smell of what she assumed were healing poultices, the brisk crunchy smell of densely packed snow, and so many smells she couldn't identify. Nothing could have prepared Nina for the sensory overload. Her pace slowed slightly. Her stomach growled in response to the smell of the glorious, simple food assaulting her senses. Cassandra sympathetically grabbed a leg of some sort of land mammal and handed it to Nina. “Eat. You will need your strength.” _Don’t have to tell me twice._ Nina chowed down, greedily finishing the leg before they were even out of the camp. Cassandra took the bone from her and handed it to someone who was making some sort of stock. They pressed on.

Gesturing to the people around them, Cassandra explained, “They have decided your guilt. They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The conclave was hers.” Cassandra continued as they moved outside the camp and into the snowy mountain path. “It was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together. Now they are dead. We lash out, like the sky. But we must think beyond ourselves. As she did.”

“I intend to do just that,” Nina responded grimly, not waiting for Cassandra to finish- _I have got to get better about interrupting her-_ but patience was never her strong suit. “I will close the Breach. I told you, whatever it takes, remember? My motivation in this world is to bring peace and order. That order begins with closing the Breach and improving the rocky relationship between the templars, mages, and Chantry.” Again Cassandra was taken aback but there was something else in her eyes, something that looked an awful lot like...admiration. “Good. Though I fear your goals are more easily stated than accomplished,” she replied. “All of the worthiest causes are,” she muttered as Cassandra cut her bonds. “There will be a trial,” the Seeker added, “I can promise no more. For all our sakes...I hope you survive it and help us to restore order.” Nina nodded, touched by the unexpected comment. _I’m already making a difference. Yes. I can do this._ Filled with renewed determination, she walked with Cassandra confidently beyond the gates and into the fray.

The Breach must have expanded again, because Nina was on the ground, clenching her jaw to keep from screaming at the utterly _unpleasant_ sensation that was the anchor flaring. “The pulses are coming faster now,” Cassandra surmised, helping her up. “The larger the Breach grows, the more demons we face,” she said as they continued forward. Nina remained silent as Cassandra explained how she fell out of the rift, that there was a woman behind her- all information Nina already knew. She let Cassandra continue, trying to practice patience, and nodded or asked additional questions when appropriate. Soon enough they crossed the collapsing bridge and were faced with demons.

“Stay behind me!” Cassandra shouted, though that command never stood a chance of being followed. _It’s showtime, Nina._ She looked around for the weapon that she knew would be there and was pleased her first condition for this universe was met. She picked up the beast of a warhammer and tested out wielding it- _good, the second condition was met, I can actually handle this beauty-_ and charged at the demon, skillfully taking it down. _This is actually faster than the game, awesome. Although the second condition probably helps._ Her thoughts were interrupted with a stern “Drop your weapon. _Now.”_ Nina immediately complied, knowing the warhammer would be back in her hands soon.

“Wait…” Cassandra sheathed her sword. “I cannot protect you. And I cannot expect you to be defenseless.” She walked a few steps before turning her head back towards Nina. “I should remember you agreed to come willingly. And that we share a common mission.” Nina smiled at Cassandra appreciatively. “I understand your caution. No doubt it will serve us well in the days to come.” Cassandra returned the smile, though it was small. _I’m definitely making good progress._

They continued forward, Cassandra sharing her potions as they moved. Nina stared at the perfectly identical bottles before storing them in the pack she just realized she had. _The lack of a game interface is going to take some getting used to. This is still so cool though._

They took out another set of demons, then another... _Jesus, there’s no end to them._ Though she knew that wasn’t true, and finally they arrived at the rift where the soldiers, Varric, and Solas were fighting for their lives. Nina and Cassandra charged, quickly helping to dispatch the demons. Suddenly the anchor hand was being pulled upward- _shit Solas, I nearly dropped the warhammer on my foot!-_ and that all too familiar voice cried out, “Quickly, before more come through!” _You had sealed it with a gesture..._ she squashed the thought before it finished. _Not now, not yet. Focus._ The electricity of the anchor lessened, almost becoming pleasurable as she felt the rift seal under her command. _Okay, also way cooler than the game._ It was done, and she finally turned to her left, knowing Solas would be there.

He was truly beautiful. Battle-weary, flushed, but emitting an air of serenity. Her eyes glanced over plump lips and past sharp cheekbones before resting on his grey eyes. Under the green glow that seemed to be everywhere, she was able to distinguish a ring of lavender around his iris. _Huh. Never noticed_ **_that_ ** _in the game._ He did not exude the same confidence Nina had grown accustomed to. No, he would present that side of himself later. For now he needed to appear more demure for his disguise to be convincing. She eyed him warily, which he noticed- _of fucking course._ She tried to cover her mistake by relying on familiar dialog. “What did you do?”

He seemed to accept that she was staring at him because of the rift, and not because he was oh so pretty- _pretty damn sneaky, the wolf bastard-_ and responded, “ _I_ did nothing. The credit is yours.” She blinked, pulling herself back into reality. Or this universe. Whatever. “Right. The magic of the Breach and the magic of the” she faltered slightly as she almost called the mark ‘the anchor’ “ _mark_ are one and the same. But you already knew that…?” She waited for his name. He didn’t pick up the hint. “I did. But how did _you?”_ She chuckled. _I knew he’d be this way._ “All in good time. How did you know that the mark would seal the rifts?” He smoothly responded, “I didn’t. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake- and it seems I was correct.” Nina nodded, and Cassandra stepped forward. “Meaning it could also close the Breach itself?” Nina softly replied, “It will. Count on it.” She gave Cassandra the same resolute look she had been using to reassure her. It worked, again. “In theory,” Solas added, cautiously, eyes darting between the two of them, before resting on Nina. “It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” Nina smiled at him, and trying not to mock him too harshly, responded, “In theory.”

“Good to know! Here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.”

Varric had finally spoken up. The beardless ginger dwarf strode towards them. Nina gave him her warmest grin and before he could introduce himself asked, “What a beautiful crossbow! What’s her name, and what’s yours?” This earned her a huge smile from Varric. “Ah, isn’t she? Bianca and have been through alot together. Name’s Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He winked at Cassandra and glee bubbled up inside Nina, escaping in the form of a full throated laugh. “Pleased to meet you, Varric. Though I’m sure you will be more than welcome- we could certainly use you and Bianca in the fights to come. Right, Cassandra?” Nina gazed at her sweetly. Cassandra started to protest but apparently she had warmed up to Nina and grumbled her agreement, which amused Varric to no end. “She’s already got the Seeker wrapped around her little finger! How’d that happen so fast? You’ll have to tell me when we’re out of this mess,” he insisted. Nina promised him she would spare no details.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.” Solas stepped forward- _wow, he’s so close-_ as Nina turned to him. “I’m Nina. You kept me alive, didn’t you? Your magic felt familiar.” Now this was no fabrication. Nina could feel his magic, could sense how it tied to the rifts and the Breach, and to her anchor. This was the third condition. While she wanted to live as a warrior Inquisitor- _because, hello, big beautiful warhammer, swinging my enemies to oblivion-_ she also knew that being a mage, or at least being sensitive to magic, would be extremely advantageous. Even if it would bring about more questions. And even if she left the condition vague enough that she didn’t know how powerful her abilities would be. She chalked that up to being a rookie mistake.

“You can sense magic? Are you a mage, then?” Solas asked, excitement staining his tone. “I’d say I’m more magic-sensitive. I haven’t manifested full mage abilities, though given current events, that could very well change.” Solas studied her face, his brow furrowed as he ran through possibilities. “Perhaps. We should speak more of this later.” _Oh yes we should._ “Solas is an apostate, well-versed in such matters,” Cassandra clarified. “Technically all mages are now apostates, Cassandra.” He turned back to Nina. “My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin.” He didn’t realize trying to convince her was pointless, but she let him give his explanation anyway. “I see. We will certainly have to have a conversation about magic later, Solas.” He nodded his agreement. “For now, let’s move on, shall we? To the forward camp?”

At that, they set off. Solas explained that the magic was “unlike any he had ever seen,” and Nina nearly scoffed. She and Varric talked about how they had both ended up in this clusterfuck, though Nina was still tight-lipped about anything beyond what she had told Leliana and Cassandra. Everyone could tell that she knew more than she was letting on, but for now they were focused more on the matter at hand. The four worked well as a team, Nina was pleased to find, and the demons that stood in their path were no trouble. Indicating her weapon, Solas commented, “You seem quite proficient with that…”

“She’s my warhammer. I, like master Tethras, prefer my weapons to have names. Particularly when they’re one of a kind.” Varric hummed his approval. “I think I’ve decided her name is Eowyn, after a great warrior known among my people.” Solas cocked an eyebrow. “Oh? That name is unfamiliar to me. She was a Dalish warrior?” Nina shook her head, smiling. “Wrong people.” Now Solas looked confused, along with Varric and Cassandra. “I’ll explain later. It’s still too complex for right now. Shit, rift!” she finished, yelling. She and Cassandra slashed through the first demons, Varric and Solas keeping the rest occupied long enough for Nina to close the rift.

They had finally made it to the forward camp. Cassandra called for the gate to be opened, and they went inside. Nina braced herself for Chancellor Roderick. “Ah, here they come.” Nina tried to stay compassionate, remembering what he would sacrifice if she weren’t here, and some other poor bastard was the Inquisitor-to-be. She just had to win him over, that’s all. _Yeah, cause that’s gonna be so easy._

Leliana stepped forward. “You made it. Chancellor Roderick, this is-”

“I know who she is,” he curtly interrupted, disdain dripping from his voice. “As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take that criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

“Order _me_?!”

 _Oh shit._ _Cass is even angrier than I remember. Gonna make the executive decision to stay out of this for as long as possible._

“You are a glorified clerk, a bureaucrat!”

“And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry!”

 _Oh hell no. Scratch all of that. Call_ **_my girl_** _a thug?_ Forgetting her decision to remain compassionate, Nina exclaimed “A thug?! She just helped save your life! AND she and Leliana are the ONLY members of the Chantry I’VE encountered who are trying to do something about the Breach and save ALL our lives! So if you’re quite finished sneering from your high horse, perhaps we could get back to the more pressing issue of saving the damned world!”

Everyone stared at her in silence for a moment. _Whoops._ It was Roderick who snapped out of it first, starting to accuse Nina of being the one responsible for everything. _Hah, point your finger a little off to the side and you’ve got the real culprit,_ she chuckled silently to herself. Cassandra was having none of it. “Nina is right. We can stop this before it’s too late.”

“Thank you, Cassandra. I suggest we take as many soldiers as we can and get to the temple ASAP.” They stared at her. “Oh for crying...it means ‘as soon as possible.’ A-S-A-P? Oh nevermind, we just need-” She was cut off by the anchor lighting up. If she didn’t have their attention before, she certainly had it now. “-to hurry…I’m not waiting around for your trial when I can keep the world from falling apart. Let’s move.”

Her companions seemed to approve, and they each went about their ways to make preparations. Nina followed Solas. Whispering to him, she said “We really do need to talk as soon as possible. I can’t explain everything now, but once I pass out after closing the Breach-”

“Why do you think you will pass out?” he interrupted, eying her suspiciously.

Nina continued, impatience coloring her words. “ _Once_ I pass out, you need to be the first person I see when I wake up. Or even before I wake up, if you can find me in the Fade. I can explain everything _then_ , and not a moment sooner. _Am I understood?”_ She stared him down like a lion staring down a hunter as she asked for his compliance. He was taken aback by her confidence, her unyielding will. Before thinking about his answer, he acquiesced. Nina nodded in approval, and left him so that they could prepare for what was to come.

He stared as she walked away, the air around her crackling with some unknown force. _What are you getting yourself into, old wolf?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and co. beat the Pride demon, and Solas and Nina have a little discussion in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, the title comes from Changes by David Bowie. Enjoy!

After replenishing her potions, Nina found an empty tent with a water basin and a mirror, miraculously. Having splashed water on her face, she could now focus on the 5th condition- her physical appearance and the knowledge she would need to accompany it. 

Nina knew she could accomplish her goals as a human, but where was the fun in that? She had never been an elf before. Of course, before coming to Thedas she knew a great deal of their history and current struggles, and she knew even more now; with the fifth condition, she had a lifetime of memories as a Dalish elf. It was strange consolidating and then compartmentalizing the events from her two lives. Once she focused on it and allowed the memories to wash over her, they fell into place like the pieces of a puzzle.  _ Must be part of being...whatever I am. Gotta keep the lifetimes straight somehow. _ After her memories fell into place, existing in harmony, she had new perspectives on the political climate in Thedas. She now knew firsthand how elves in were treated, had actually lived through the struggles of the Dalish, and she fully anticipated the resistance there would be to her being in charge as a Dalish elf.  _ Yeah, but those racist asshats can shove it. Plus, knowing elvhen will come in handy. _ Most importantly, she had a clearer idea of what to talk to Solas about and what changes she wanted to implement.

She knew her body from her life as an elf, but had not seen it with new eyes, the lenses of newly resurfaced memories of life on earth causing her to view her familiar body with a fresh perspective. She inspected her ears thoroughly, oddly pleased to realize that her ear piercings matched those she had on Earth- four on each lobe and one in the middle on the right. Nina’s earrings were simple metal studs and not necessarily very “elfy elf,” as Sera would say, but it was a comforting constant from her universe. Her vallaslin was Mythal’s, the intricate yet minimalist designs spanning from her forehead to her chin, and a quick peek under her armor confirmed how it extended further down her body. She had considered not having them at all, but decided that ultimately she needed people to believe she was Dalish at first glance, to establish herself as a Dalish Herald of Andraste and Inquisitor. She opted for Mythal’s vallaslin over the others because, after all, Flemeth was one of the baddest bitches in the game, and Mythal and Fen’harel had a...special relationship.

The oddest difference was how much sharper her features and body shape were. Her hips and chest were pretty much the same size as on Earth, but she had much less body fat. While she was much stronger than before, her muscles weren’t rippling, but rather lean and presumably dense. It was a perplexing body, simultaneously foreign and familiar; everything  _ felt _ like hers, even though her reflection surprised her at first. Her heart shaped face still had its small cheekbones, though they were more angular, her upper lip was still thinner than her full bottom lip, and her chin was slightly more pointed. Her eyes were the same bright amber, and her deep, dark reddish hair was blessedly short, just longer than a crew cut, precisely how she liked it. All in all it was still her face, still her body. The appearance part of condition 5 was satisfactorily met. Nina would have to try practicing elvhen later, though she knew it would be flawless...

“Are you ready?” Cassandra asked, watching her curiously. Nina jumped.

“Jesus, Cass, how long have you been standing there? Damn near gave me a heart attack…” she grumbled.

Cassandra looked puzzled. “What is a ‘jeezus’?”

Nina burst out laughing, adding to Cassandra’s confusion. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just a phrase from back home. Kind of similar to the ‘Andraste!’ blaspheme.”  _ I need to keep my Earth slang to a minimum. I’m already confusing them too much. _ “To answer your first question, yes, I’m ready. Is everyone else?” 

“I am giving them little choice in the matter. It is time to go.” Cassandra’s face hardened and her posture straightening, showing that she was battle-ready. Nina mimicked her stance and expression, nodding. “Let’s do this.”

They walked out of the camp side by side, met up with Varric and Solas, who appeared perfectly ready to fight demons and heal the tears in the sky, and the four of them set out with Cassandra’s troops. The mountain path was littered with demons, which was fine by Nina. She might take a little too much joy from wielding her Eowyn-  _ though really, who can say what’s too much? I’m just enjoying doing what needs to be done _ . Her custom weapon was truly marvelous. Fitted for her use alone, it was equipped with a powerful fire rune, a sharp pommel, and a perfectly balanced haft. The head of the warhammer itself was shaped like a fang.  _ Unconventional, but deadly. _ It met the standards of the traditional Warhammer maul in the Dragon Age games, one end being pointed and jagged, and the other blunt, adding to its flexibility in uses. She was giddy, couldn’t be more pleased with her dear Eowyn. She glanced at Varric.  _ I wonder if this is how he felt when he used Bianca once she was operational... _

She dismissed the thought and turned her attention towards the rift, bending it's edges shut using the anchor. Solas appeared beside her. “Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this.” 

“Let’s hope it works on the big one,” Varric interjected. She snickered.  _ How is he still funny, after all of the times I’ve heard his dialogue? _

Nina turned her gaze towards Cullen and Cassandra, who were bringing each other up to speed. At last, Nina and Cullen were introduced.  _ Lords he’s pretty. _ She was never much interested in his looks in the game-  _ step up generic blonde white boy number 4- _ but she couldn’t help admire, however briefly, his chiseled visage.  _ And you prefer the traitorous egg over this guy? _ She always had a thing for intellect, complexity, and aloofness over charm, earnestness, and straightforward thinking. Which made no sense to her. She sighed. “You alright there, ruby?”

She blinked and stared at him for a moment before shouting, “Oh my  _ gods _ , Varric, that nickname is perfect!” The group continued walking as Varric chuckled and Solas and Cassandra stared at her. “Do you worship the elvhen gods, then?” Cassandra asked, clearly curious. 

“Oh no, it’s just a phrase. Sorry, I suspect I have a lot of strange phrases and idioms you’ll hear in the days...months to come.” She looked over at Solas, and on a whim, decided to alarm him somewhat. Looking straight ahead, her expression neutral, she added, “Besides, the elvhen gods were likely just really powerful elves from the time before the Quickening. Sure, they existed, but now? Who knows. Maybe they walk among us, disguised as wise and powerful people.” Everyone stared at Nina and she picked up her pace so that they wouldn’t see her smirking. Varric was laughing again. 

“Chuckles, you look like you just stepped in nugshit!” 

Her smiled broadened, but didn’t last. As they approached the Breach, charred bodies began to pile up around them. The smell was almost unbearable despite the cold mountain air.  They approached the remains of a building. Nina peered at the rift over the edge of the remains of the second floor of the building.

_ You’ve had your fun- you’ll pay for it later, too- but now it’s back to business. _ Leliana appeared with her troops. “You’re here, thank the Maker,” she said, joining them. Nina squared her shoulders and turned to face her companions. “We need to discuss how we’re going to approach this. That rift is the key to closing the Breach. When I reopen the imperfectly closed rift- no, listen, this is the only way- when I do that, a Pride demon will jump out. It’s tough, but we can take it. Keep it occupied long enough for me to close the rift, which will stun it and allow us to defeat it. Then I can close the Breach. Cassandra and Leliana, I trust you to direct the warriors and archers. Oh and one more thing: there’s going to be a vision. From the Fade. Just...brace yourselves.” She looked sympathetically over at Cassandra and Leliana. The Hands nodded, and the rest followed suit.  _ They’re getting used to taking orders from me already. Good. I’m getting used to giving them, too. _

She jumped down from the ledge of the ruins, impulsively like always, skipping the red lyrium-  _ even though that's  _ **_important_ ** . The companions each went to take up their positions, going down the sensible way. The Hands directed orders at the soldiers as they went. “I hope you realize how many  _ questions _ I’ll have later when we have our  _ discussion _ .” Solas’ voice was low, threatening, and she suppressed a shiver.  _ Serves you right, taunting a wolf like that. But this doesn’t  _ **_quite_ ** _ deviate from the plan.  _ He walked to his position before she could respond. There wasn’t time to think about that now, and she walked over to the Breach, mentally bracing herself for what was to come.

Everything happened just as Nina had said. They were shown the vision- Cassandra started to ask questions, and Nina reassured her she would tell them everything she could remember, everything she knew- _well, everything that’s part of the plan_ \- once they had closed the Breach. Cassandra, clearly growing tired of this line, narrowed her eyes at Nina but agreed that the Breach should come first. Nina opened the rift, the Pride demon popped out, and everyone did their best to keep it off Nina while she worked on the rift. She took a little damage off of it- that is, her left forearm was slightly singed through her armor. **_Fuck_** _those lightning whips, that’s gonna be a pain for Solas to heal later._ Finally, she was sealing together the final edges of the rift, gritting her teeth at the effort, and the rift was closed. The blast knocked her on her ass and she exhaled in relief before passing out, content with her progress, and despite his threat, was looking forward to meeting with Solas.

 

***

 

When she opened her eyes, she was seated in a 1964 Galaxie 500 convertible, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway. It was stunning, but she ached for home. The car wasn’t actually hers. It was a replica of one she always admired and secretly coveted after hearing the Reverend Horton Heat song “Galaxy 500” and researching different models. The 1964 aqua with the white top was her favorite by far.

She parked at a rest stop on a cliff, and stared at the ocean waves crashing against the rocks, the movement and sound rocking the core of her very being until it was permeated with a sense of harmony and fulfillment. She leaned back, her hands spread out against the ripped knees of her jeans, drinking in the moment. Until she felt a familiar presence enter her dream.

She kept her composure and waited until he was within earshot. “I miss the ocean.”

“I’ve never seen one so peaceful. Where are we?” Solas stood outside the car, staring off into the distance as Nina had been a moment ago. She got his attention by opening the other door, beckoning him to sit next her in the convertible. He slid in, his eyes full of wonder as he took in the machine. She reached over again to close the door for him. “We’re off the Pacific Coast Highway. Near my home. That’s not what you were expecting, was it? You’re expecting my home to be somewhere in the woods. Though I suppose both are true.” She sighed, looking down at her lap. This was going to be a tough explanation. The first of many. 

“So you are not, in fact, Dalish.” He stared her down.  _ Yep, definitely going to be tougher than I thought. _

“I...was not originally, but here, in this universe, I am. I have the memories and knowledge of my clan, but I also retain my memories and knowledge from my...previous life. In my home universe.” She finally looked up at him and stifled a full blown chortle. He was utterly bewildered.

Finally she couldn’t take it, and giggled at him.  _ Great, now I look mad. _ “Sorry, it’s just...your face. Priceless. I know you have even more questions than before now, so ask away.” He took a moment to compose himself, clearing his throat, and started with the basics.

“You come from a different universe?”

“Yes. There is no Fade in my universe, so there’s no magic. Instead we have science and technology. Lands like Thedas exist only in myth, and races like elves and dwarves only exist in myth, too. There’s no unified religion like the Chantry, though a very similar religion exists- there are just thousands more on top of that one. It’s also much bigger than Thedas, and more densely populated. I’m sure I’ll show you memories of it through the Fade sometime.”

“I would like that very much.” Solas paused and she could feel him reflecting on everything she had told him. “What is this...” at a loss for words, he gestured at the convertible.

“It’s called a car. Or an automobile, if you’re old-fashioned. It’s like a mechanised carriage. Instead of being pulled by horses, there is a device called an engine under the hood, here” she pointed in front of them, “ and underneath us that moves the wheels on their own. It’s powered by a type of fuel called gasoline, although there are some very expensive new models that run on electricity alone. Electricity is like harnessed lightning.” She was actually having a lot of fun explaining this to him. It was so thrilling to experience his wonder secondhand, his feeling amplified by the Fade. Or maybe she could read it through his aura because of her magic sensitivity?  _ I should really ask him. _ So she did. 

“Why can I sense your emotions? Is it because of the Fade, or something else? It’s like they’re coming through your aura,” she gestured vaguely around him. This was apparently not something he expected. “I...do not know. It is true that the Fade amplifies emotions, but for you to sense them through me  _ directly _ and not through the Fade…” He paused, and she could see him thinking away furiously, all the while trying to dampen his emotions. When he continued, it was much more calmly, and much more guarded. Which was pointless because she could  _ feel _ how guarded he was. “You are an anomaly. The fact that you survived the explosion and that the mark did not kill you is reason alone to-” 

“Okay, I’ve gotta stop you right there. I know you’re the reason the mark didn’t kill me.” 

“Because you can feel my magic? Because it is familiar to you?” To his credit, he was trying to be more curious than angry, probably because he knew she could sense his emotions and was trying to hide them.  _ Pfft, let’s see how long that lasts. _

“Because the orb is yours. Corypheus essentially gained immortality, by the way. He can transfer his essence through the taint like an archdemon. That’s how he survived the blast from opening your foci.” Yep, that did it. He was furious, and not bothering to hide it now. His arm lunged for Nina’s throat, pressing his nails in deep but allowing her to breathe, his eyes narrow and teeth bared. He  _ growled _ at her, “ _ What do you know?” _

She should have been terrified. She really should have been. Even if he wasn’t at his full power, he was still a force to be reckoned with- but, so was she.

She quickly pulled on whatever magic she had, and defensively formed ice shards around the Dread Wolf’s throat.  _ Alright, so I have more than just magic sensitivity. But...magic in the Fade? The fuck? Wait,  _ **_focus_ ** _ , Nina. Elvhen god is grasping your gods damn throat. Calmly, now... _

“I’m here to help,” she said simply, not a trace of a threat in her voice despite her attack, and his. She decided to switch to elvhen; might as well test out the fifth condition. “ _ You made an impossible decision, Dread Wolf. One for which you could not have predicted the consequences. I know you seek to right the world and reconnect your people to the Fade, but you should know by now, you cannot fix things alone. You need me, and whether that is clear to you now or not is irrelevant. You will have my help.” _

He froze. Slowly his grasp around her throat eased up, and she waved the ice shards away as a sign of trust.  _ As soon as he isn’t trying to kill me, we have got to figure out my magic stuff.  _

He let go of her completely and robotically sat back in his seat, numb. 

“ _ How could you possibly hope to help me? _ ” he whispered in elvhen. She could feel him grasping onto the familiar tongue as an life vest, desperately clinging to anything that made sense to him.  _ Shit. Did I break him? He looks so defeated... _

Nina gently placed a hand on his shoulder. If elvhen would help, she would continue in elvhen. “ _ Because that’s the only reason I’m here. I want to help the elves. I want to help the world. I want to help you make decisions you won’t regret, and help you fix the mistakes you’ve already made.” _

He looked up at her now, like a lost wolf pup.  _ This is so not like him. _ She was increasingly concerned, which was apparently plastered on her face because Solas tried to regain some of his composure. 

“Can...can I ask you more questions, lethallan?” he asked, switching back to Common- mostly. She smiled encouragingly. “Ask all the questions you need.”

“What are you?”

_ Wow, straight for the jugular. Oh wait, he already did that… _

“I don’t quite know myself, yet. I was in my universe, minding my own business, when suddenly I  _ knew _ that I could travel to any universe I wished, as long as I went with a purpose to fulfill and a set of conditions for my existence there. I don’t know how, or why. Eventually I decided to try it out- after careful consideration of where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, and what my conditions would be, of course. And then I arrived at the conclave, with an elf body and life. My knowledge and memories from my home universe remained intact, although they didn’t awaken until after I arrived at the conclave. So...I guess it’s as you said. I’m an anomaly.”

He let out a harsh laugh, almost a bark. “I do believe that my previous comment was  _ gravely _ understated. What did you do in your world? Both in terms of a profession and...your life as a whole? What kind of work is available when there’s no magic? How do people heal?”

Nina chuckled. This was more like it. “Okay let’s see if I can answer all of those succinctly...I worked at a restaurant. I was attending school. After primary education, which is public, mandatory, and free, there is secondary education, which has two levels, overall: undergraduate, and then graduate. I was in the summer of my second year of graduate school. For my undergraduate education, I studied English, which is basically Common, and specialized in Icelandic literature. My graduate education is over the same, only much more highly specialized in Viking Icelandic literature. ‘Viking’ refers to both a time period and a civilization, loosely, and ‘Icelandic’ refers to a specific country.” 

She paused to make sure Solas was following along. He motioned for her to continue. 

“Attending school is regarded as work to some, though many people work and go to school concurrently. There are many similar jobs between Thedas and my home world, but they have different names. Additionally, while the nature of the work is similar, the means by which it is accomplished are different. Healers are called doctors, for example, and they rely on science and technology instead of magic, which I can explain more fully another time.”

He nodded, apparently following along well. Nina expected no less from Solas.

“So...about my magic…”

He sat back, sighing. “Of course. Despite your control over how you came here and these...conditions you set for your presence here, you know little of your abilities, correct?” She gave an embarrassed nod, moving her seat back and pulling her knees up to her chest. She wanted to be comfortable for this conversation. “What can you sense, Solas?” 

“It is true that you have latent abilities of some sort. And, most interestingly, you apparently have some considerable control over magic in the Fade. Without knowing anything about... your anomaly, I would have thought it impossible, amounting to little more than a trick. And yet…”

“And yet there’s no trick. Somehow I have complete control over my magic in the Fade,” Nina finished. 

“Precisely. Once you are awake, we will have to test the full extent of your abilities.” Solas’ eyes twinkled. Nina felt his excitement radiating in waves of heat off of him. 

“We will, but...about that. I’m not sure how much time we have left here, and I need your help with something else that must take priority.” He peered at her intently. She took a deep breath.

“What should we tell the others once I wake up?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas POV. Making plans and taking hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, Solavellan fans, if you haven't heard the new track "Even Though Our Love Is Doomed" by Garbage...you've gotta give it a listen. It's too perfect for them.  
> Thanks again to my WONDERFUL editor, Ruby, and the LOVELY Leonard for feedback.  
> Enjoy!

Solas didn't even know where to begin to answer her.

There was a war beneath his chest, clawing and scraping to get free. But Nina could _feel him_ here. Maybe even outside the Fade. He could not make her aware of his internal conflicts. It made her dangerous, even more so because he had only begun to learn about her, and she knew...everything. The careful façade he built to fool everyone meant nothing in her presence. _But despite what she knows, she still wants to help you._ That traitorous voice in the back of his head had not ceased to encourage him to reach out to her, trust her. He did his best to ignore it. He couldn't let her know how his mind raced, unsure of how to proceed. There was so much he wished to ask that was unknown- and Nina was already proposing moving forward. _Well, you did note her impatience, old wolf. Just because your view of her has changed doesn't mean she has._

He worked to gather his thoughts. He needed more information before he could answer her question, and he needed to be sure of _her_ before he truly agreed to work together. _She feels your hesitation already._ He glanced up at her, intending to quickly gauge what she thought of his strong distrust and was met with…

_Compassion?_

She was gazing at him beneath her long lashes, her amber eyes tinged only with concern for him, for the deluge of his emotions. _How is she real?_ Slowly, he felt his guard slipping, distrust overtaken by wonder. The traitorous voice was now the loudest in his thoughts. He would trust her. What choice did he really have? She blinked and the crease of her brow smoothed out, her posture easing as she felt him relax.

“You have been asleep two days, Nina. I don't know if this gives us enough time in the Fade to figure out our next steps.” Solas surprised himself with that word- _our_ \- that seamless inclusion of his participation in her plans. She bit her lip, an endearing trait that had not escaped his notice. He knew Nina was thinking, turning things over until she could formulate a response. If she already knew him, he would have to be particularly attentive of her traits, her habits, her...self.

“Okay. I suppose I should tell you what’s happening. If everything goes the same, I should be asleep for three days. That should give us enough time to figure out the next immediate steps, and bring you up to speed.”

Per usual, Nina left him with more questions than answers. “If everything goes the same...?” Solas trailed off, his eyebrow raised. He needed more answers soon. And he would get them _before_ answering _her_ queries. Perhaps it was a sound strategy to curtail the endless stream of unanswered questions, perhaps it was his lingering instinctual distrust of others. _It is likely both_ , he concluded idly.

“Ooooh right.” She inhaled deeply, then seemed to change her mind. “This is so complicated…” She stared off into the distance, lost in thought. “The simplest answer is that I know my future in Thedas. And I'm about to change a whole lot of it,” she added grimly, not taking her eyes off the calming sea. “But at the same time I feel...hesitant to change _too_ many things in case we need the predictive edge I have to offer. If I change too much, I won't have nearly as clear of an idea of how events will play out. It could amount to little more than informed speculation. And this is where I would like your advice,” she finished, again offering more questions than answers. _How can she see the future? If it is a natural gift, why can't she see what comes after she alters the future? No, she said she_ ** _knows_** _the future. How is that different from seeing it? What exactly does she hope to change, and why?_ _And what has transpired, or will, that she has not yet shared?_ Solas ran through the questions he wanted to ask her, deciding on the most pressing one first. “May we begin discussing your plans?” he asked hopefully. It would provide much insight into _who she is,_ as well as guide him on how to proceed. _I have decided to trust her. I have not decided to trust her completely, not_ ** _now_**.

“Yes! Shit, I didn’t go into that, did I? You kind of need to know that before we figure out the next steps, don’t you?” Nina asked, the shadow of a grin dancing across her lips. _She’s attempting levity,_ he mused, offering her a small smile. She relaxed an inch or two more before she continued. She still sensed his trepidation, and sought to ease it. _Information will assist in that process._ “Okay...so, there are several events that are coming up that require decisions I don’t want to make. I will first seek to change the future so that I don’t have to make those decisions, which will prevent us from having to divide and sacrifice resources that we desperately need, and save a lot of lives in the process. This will hopefully allow us enough control over the entire clusterfuck- er, situation- so that I can complete my mission.”

“Which is?”

“Broadly…” She thought for a moment. “No, I need to tell you what will happen if I change nothing, first. Although I hope you realize that just telling you might change things.” She waited until he nodded that he understood. Reclining in the car, Nina explained to Solas the formation of the Inquisition, the decision between the templars and the mages, the attack on Haven and his suggestion to move to Skyhold, the role the Grey Wardens played in the Divine’s death and Corypheus’ plans for the conclave, the overall “clusterfuck” that was Adamant, the Temple of Mythal, defeating Corypheus with Morrigan’s help, and the issue of the next Divine.

“So, my goal is to prevent most of these disasters from happening. I was planning on contacting the mages before Alexius, if possible, as well as the templars and Grey Wardens, to avert the aforementioned _disasters_ , and seriously pull the wool over on Corypheshit- don't make that face, I know what his name is, he just disgusts me so he doesn’t _deserve_ to be called by his proper name. In doing so to _Corypheshit_ , I can help you right the mistake you made in letting him open the orb.” She said this as if she were commenting on the weather, not a hint of disapproval in her voice. Nina’s eyes hovered over him briefly, no doubt noting his surprise, before they flicked back to the ocean as she continued. “Then I thought we could figure out a way to slowly bring down the Veil, thus averting more needless death and chaos that weighs on your conscience for eternity. I have a few ideas for how we can set the foundations for that while the Inquisition is still solidifying itself as a major world power. And during all of this, we can use the influence of the Inquisition and your various agents to improve things for all elvhen kind. I have a couple ideas for actions we can take on this matter as well.” She stopped, no doubt feeling his shock hit her in waves. Her eyes lingered on his long enough to convey her determination, seeking to convince, maybe even comfort him. _She truly wants to save everyone...especially the People...and she even wants to save_ **_me_ ** ? _Assuage_ **_my_ ** _guilt?_

She interrupted his thoughts. “Why didn’t you wait until you were strong enough to open the orb yourself?” The question caught him off guard as she gazed at him with innocent curiosity.

His turned his attention towards the ocean, slightly at a loss for words. _Yes, why did you jump forward brashly? Unable to permit yourself to care about the consequences? Though you had not anticipated any; Corypheus wasn’t able to achieve immortality as far as you were concerned. And you were wrong._ He let his anger subside, knowing it would only cause Nina to worry, and tried to answer her question. “I didn’t realize Corypheus-” she made a face but Solas continued, refusing to call their adversary by Nina’s crude nickname, no matter how secretly amusing he found it- “was immortal, or how lofty his ambitions were. And I didn’t know how long it would take to regain my strength. I felt that inaction would only allow my people to suffer longer. It seems that I was wrong.”

The corners of her mouth flicked up for a moment. “A wise man once told me, ‘Action is not inherently superior to inaction.’ Though to be fair, it can be hard to know which moments require action, and which ones don't.” She offered him a small, reassuring smile. It comforted him in a way...no, he would not acknowledge how it comforted him.  

“Wise words indeed. Who said this to you? Someone from your universe?” She started out smirking at him, then threw her head back and laughed, having attempted maintaining composure and failing in the most charming way. _Stop._ “No, it was you. After a fashion.” He stared. “‘After a fashion’? When did I…?” She shook her head. “Not in the past, but in the future. Although I guess that won't happen now. Ah, well. Worth it.” Basking in the glow of her satisfaction, he felt...lighter. Warmer. _You aren't alone in this now,_ the traitorous voice said _._ He found that voice increasingly impossible to ignore. But he could try to change its mind. “You think me wise? Despite all you've seen?” Solas expected her to backtrack, to make excuses for him. Nina did not. Her gaze bore through him before she spoke. “I know you feel shame- but there is still that constant, that trait which is inseparable from you and makes _you_ believe that you can be wise, _Solas._ ” The way she said his name could only mean that she spoke of his pride. “And you're not wrong. You have your moments. But sometimes I think you need time to reflect on your mistakes. Not wallow in them, not fixate on reversing them, but truly reflect and grow from them,” Nina finished softly, her focus once again on the sea. He didn't know what to say to that, so he turned his gaze outward as well. They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, serenaded by the ocean waves. _That's certainly something to consider. Have I truly grown from my mistakes? I have changed as a result of them, but have I_ **_grown_ ** _?_ Solas hadn't considered this perspective. He usually concerned himself with how _he_ could improve a situation, right a wrong, bring justice to the oppressed. But he had not taken much time for tangible introspection. Nina looked at him now, her expression a swirl of curiosity and delight. Solas guessed that she felt the emotions elicited by her assessment of him and was pleased with the result. He found himself smiling at her. Nina’s glow was truly infectious. **_Stop. That._**

He shifted, ending the moment. “I believe I can better assist you now. Let us begin.”

They spoke for hours, formulating and debating, turning ideas over and over until they had the angles just right. Some other details would have to be worked out later with the other members of their strange group, but they finally had a working plan for how to start changing things. For the first time in a long time, Solas was hopeful. He began to believe that together they could change things for the better. And this time...perhaps fewer people would be hurt. Nina certainly had every intention of making it so. _And she knows you well. She will not let you make decisions wrought by pride or made hastily out of desperation._ Solas tried, and failed, to brush the thought aside.

“I’m afraid it is time for me to leave the Fade. If you are correct about when you wake up, then you have precious few hours of calm remaining before the storm,” he concluded, offering her a sympathetic glance. She murmured her agreement, but stopped him before he could leave.

“I have two final requests. Can we meet in the Fade again tomorrow night? I think that's the best way for us to plan and meet. I still have more to tell you and we’ll need to tweak our plans as new information comes in.”

He nodding his agreement. It certainly was the safest way to meet, and Solas was greedy for any information- about _anything_ \- that she could provide. If this car was only the beginning of what he could learn about another world, as it surely must be, then they would have many long discussions in the Fade. Especially since they had decided to delay telling the others that Nina was from another universe. The pair had agreed that that was an explanation for another time. Though his reasons may have been selfish: he wished to know her before anyone else. He _needed_ to understand her to determine that she could be a true ally. Therefore, the Fade was the only place they could  speak freely. For now.

“Somehow I didn’t think you would have a problem with continuing to meet here,” Nina teased him. “Secondly...can you remove my vallaslin when the time is right? They're beautiful, but I would rather not have slave markings once it is widely known that I am Dalish. Then I can serve as an example; we can spread the word about the vallaslin’s origins, and we can feasibly change this...is it too harsh to call it a sickening tradition? At the very least it is confused. Misplaced.”

Again she surprised him. _Perhaps you'll grow accustomed to her surprises,_ he mused. He didn’t want to think about the implications of becoming so close to her. “I have no personal qualms with calling it sickening, but confused is certainly less harsh, if you would prefer that. But, of course, lethallan. I would be happy to. Is this one of the ideas you mentioned before about helping Elvhen kind?” Nina nodded. He couldn’t help but feel proud. “That is an excellent start, Nina.” She hugged him, taking him off guard at first but somehow he knew that was simply how she treated those she cared about. It was so natural coming from her. He returned her embrace somewhat awkwardly- _when was your last embrace?-_ and they bid farewell.

Solas awoke in a chair next to her bed. He was in her room under the pretence of healing her, though Cassandra and a select few knew that he was searching for her in the Fade. When he agreed to Nina’s request to meet there he had no idea what he was getting himself into. He may have had an inkling when she dropped her candid “hint” that she knew about the Evanuris, but truthfully? Even then Solas could not have guessed how much she would change the world. Change everything. As he gazed at her peaceful face, he couldn't help but reach over and gently caress her cheek. Knowing his wariness of her, feeling himself keep her at arm's length, she had been nothing but open with him. She had treated him with kindness and compassion when he threatened her life. Even more surprising, she came to this universe...to _help him._ Even if only in part.

Hope. In the face of everything, she gave him hope. Hope that things would turn out well, hope that he would no longer be alone. Part of him was unsure whether this hope was false, temporary, and cruel, or whether it was true. He didn't know which was more frightening. If it was true, he may have _finally_ found a companion who would stay by his side and support him, knowing his mistakes and his ambitions and accepting him all the same.

_No, that’s not entirely correct. She understands you, but she does not simply accept you; she_ **_expects_ ** _you to be_ **_better_ ** _._ Solas found himself believing he could be. And if he could be...then would his days of solitude come to an end? He had long ago locked this prospect away deep inside him, suffocating it until it withered away to little more than a husk. Now this withered husk was expanding with new life, threatening to break free.

Now _that_ was truly terrifying.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina shares her plans with the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an apology for how short this chapter is, I also put up a short angry Lavellan piece I wrote a while ago. The chapters get longer after this, promise.  
> Enjoy!

Nina has no sense for how much time passes before she's pulled awake and out of the Fade.

She had been sitting in her beach chair, soaking up rays, utterly content to sit back and not roast in the sun like she would have back on Earth. Much to her dismay, she felt a tug at the edges of her awareness, gentle but unyielding. She sighed, closed her eyes...and felt herself leave the Fade. _Now_ **_that_ ** _was bizarre._ It felt as if she was being moved after getting spun around in one of those “anti-gravity” carnival rides, but the sensation was gone in an instant. She paused before opening her eyes, mentally preparing for what was to come. Taking a deep breath, her eyes fluttered open, and she sat up. And promptly heard a gasp and something crash to the floor.

“I didn't know you were awake, I swear!”

The poor elf looked petrified. “Go tell Cassandra I'm awake.”

The thin woman faltered for a moment before falling to the floor, bowing, asking for forgiveness and declaring herself “a humble servant.”

“Please don't do that. You are so much more than that. Go to Cassandra,” Nina insisted, gentle but firm.

“At once, my lady!” the other elf exclaimed before running off as Nina chuckled to herself. _Not getting used to that treatment any time soon. Now, let's check for the next condition before grabbing Solas…_

She stood from her bed, eyes scanning the small room before landing on a simple sturdy chest. _Bingo_. She walked over and opened it up to inspect its contents. It was her In-Case-Of-Homesickness box. She nearly squealed with glee as she found everything she was looking for: chocolates, baked goods, both sweet and salty snacks, fruits, liquor, wine, cocktail fixings, comfy clothes and underwear, soaps, deodorants, miscellaneous toiletries, and other odds and ends. It was mostly food and beverages, though. She had stipulated in the condition that no one could open the chest but her, that it would appear both here and at Skyhold, and that its normally finite contents would never go “empty” or rot- that is, no running out of the foods or toiletries. She was far too proud of herself for the 6th condition. Granted, it was totally unnecessary. However, those small comforts from Earth would do her a world of good, and besides, she would want to share food from her first home with her friends.

She grabbed a pouch-full of her favorite chocolate almonds, closed the chest, popped one of the sweet nutty bites into her mouth, and stepped outside, heading for Solas’ perch.

And slammed right into him. She just about choked on her breakfast. At the same time, they started:

“Shit, sorry, how'd you get here so-”

“I apologize, I saw your attendant leaving and I-”

They both stopped for a moment, waiting to let the other continue, then chuckled shyly at each other. “Chocolate covered almond?” she offered. They began a slow walk to the Chantry at her direction, ignoring the guards behind her. “It's from home,” she whispered, winking at him. He was not expecting that, but could not refuse food from another universe. She was somewhat dismayed that she couldn't feel his emotions here as she had in the Fade, having to rely on body language instead. Nina handed him an almond, then popped another whole one in her mouth. He mimicked her, his eyes widening as he chewed. Swallowing, he emphatically expressed in hushed tones, “I've never had chocolate so refined! And that almond- I've had Antivan almonds, but none with that flavor profile, and never with chocolate before. They are a perfect complement.” She beamed at him. “Yeah, they're a favorite. Had to bring them. Here, take some more.” She divided the snack/breakfast between them, and at her insistence Solas accepted the precious gift- he didn't realize she had an infinite supply. Yet.

They just finished the last of them when Nina opened the Chantry doors. The pair crossed the long hallway, trailed by the guards, and opened the back doors to find Cassandra and Leliana waiting...along with Chancellor Roderick. _Oh shit. I forgot about this._

Before the cleric could get a word in, she greeted them. “Everyone! Sorry to keep you so long, apparently stabilizing the Breach is quite draining,” she joked, genuinely pleased to see the fierce women. Cassandra’s expression softened and Leliana flashed a small grin before Roderick ruined it.

“Chain her. I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial. And what is _he_ doing here?”

_I wonder if he realizes that sneering so much is bad for your health._

“Disregard that, and leave us.” Nina shot Cassandra a grateful glance as the guards left. Roderick glared. “You walk a dangerous line, Seeker.” Cassandra met his gaze fearlessly. _You give him hell, Cass._ “The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it.” Nina waited patiently to speak beside Solas, who watched with mild interest. “The Seeker is correct, Chancellor. Solas believes the Breach needs more power to be shut permanently. His _expertise_ is why he's here.” She paused, daring him to challenge her before continuing with a softer tone. “I did everything within my abilities to close it alone, and it nearly killed me.”

“Yet you live! A convenient result, insofar as you're concerned.”

“Have a care, Chancellor. The Breach is not the only threat we face.” Cassandra's voice could not have _been_ more stern.

Leliana interjected. “Someone was behind the explosion at the conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others- or have allies who yet live.”

“ _I_ am a suspect?”

“You. And many others.”

“It wasn't the Chancellor. He cares too much,” Nina said frankly, allowing some of her exhaustion to bleed through her tone. _Maybe I should have had chocolate covered espresso beans for breakfast._ Roderick stared at her, for once at a loss for words. Nina turned to face him. “I trust you, Chancellor. All I ask is that you give us the opportunity to earn your trust in return. We will seek retribution for the Divine, and we will restore order. Will you please be a part of that? There will come a time when we desperately need you.” Solas’ fingertips gently brushed across her wrist, signaling her to stop there. _He's afraid I'll give too much away. He may be right to worry, I'm just afraid of Roderick needlessly dying…_

Despite her annoyance with the man, she understood him, and appreciated how much he truly gave a shit. Even if his actions at this point are...disinformed.

Cassandra and Leliana began to express their religious beliefs regarding the situation. Nina glanced over at Solas. In elvhen she whispered, _“Short-lives. Always attributing everything to the Maker._ ” He tried his best to suppress a smirk. It was wiped from his face when Cassandra slammed a book on the table they stood round. She was clearly fed up debating Roderick. _This is it, this is it! The Inquisition is born!_

And so it was. Roderick was not completely convinced, but he had conceded to giving Nina a chance. _Progress, yes!_ Leliana sent the necessary ravens, banners went up, the whole shebang. But Nina worried they were wasting precious time. She approached Cassandra in the Chantry after the Seeker made her rounds to inspect the camp. “Cass, I know there's a lot to do, but I have explanations and _vital_ information for you. You'd better grab Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine- no we haven't been introduced yet, I'll explain _later!_ Solas and I will grab Varric. Time is of the essence!” Nina yelled over her shoulder, trusting the Seeker to comply. Nina walked at a fast pace to find Varric, Solas hot on her heels. “Are you ready?” he inquired quietly. “Ready or not, we have a mission to complete. I think I just want to get it over with at this point. Are you ready?” He nodded solemnly.

This was the second of many difficult conversations to come. But the first had gone well; Solas hadn't killed her, and had even started to trust her. And out of everyone here, they were certainly the closest. _Not as close as I'd like. Damn it, cut that out, inner sultry voice. I'm too busy for this right now._

They found Varric in the tavern, spinning tales about “the Herald’s heroism,” which Nina found endearing and aggravating all at once. The title made her uncomfortable before coming to Thedas, but now that she had an elf’s life as well, she downright hated it. The trio returned to a packed war council. Everyone was assembled and there was no turning back. Solas gave her hand a quick squeeze- _that's surprising, I didn't think he would initiate physical contact like that-_ and moved to the back of the room, angling himself so that no one could see him. Nina took a deep breath.

“As you all are no doubt aware, I possess...unique knowledge. I know things that should be impossible to know. The short explanation is that I know what events will come to pass in the wake of the explosion at the conclave. Or at least, I know what will happen if I change nothing and walk the path that has been laid out for me. Which, with some exceptions, I have no intention of doing.” She glanced around the room, gauging her audience. They were pretty silent. Which was good, because she had a hell of a lot more to say. “Unfortunately, right now we lack the luxury of time, so I can't go into the long explanation. Not yet. It is far more important that I tell you the information I possess. I know it goes without saying that what I tell you will not leave this room-” she looked at each of them, pausing slightly longer on Varric, although ultimately he kept secrets well- “but I'm going to say it anyway: this part of me? How I am able to share this knowledge with you? Does. Not. Leave. This. Room.” She glanced over at Solas. He nodded once as if to say “continue.”

_Guess they've been adequately warned._

“I know who is responsible for the explosion at the Conclave, and I know why this being did it. It's about so much more than killing the Divine and disrupting the peace talks. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start with the big bad behind the conclave- sorry, slang from home- no, not the Dalish just- _do you want to know who is responsible or not?”_ The questions that had started to leave her companions’ lips died before completion. _That got their attention._ She sighed. “The being responsible is an old- and by old I mean ancient- Tevinter magister gone horribly wrong, infected with the Blight, though he controls it. He goes by Corypheus and he seeks to become a god.” She explained to them everything she and Solas had practiced last night. By the end of her explanation, everyone looked grim, horrified, or some combination of the two. Varric muttered some choice curses under his breath. Nina pressed on.

“Now, that's what happens if we change nothing. But like I said, I have no intention of doing that. We are going to rally _both_ the mages _and_ the templars to our cause, making the Inquisition that much stronger and Corypheus that much weaker. We are going to seek out the Venatori with a vengeance and _wipe them out_ . We are going to lend our aid to the Grey Wardens so that they understand what is happening to them and _do not_ attempt to kill the old gods in a final act of desperation. We are also going to research methods for protecting them against Corypheus’ control. We will crush every advantage Corypheus thinks he has over us until we are strong enough to defeat him and his archdemon. Then we are going to rebuild the Chantry so that it is _less oppressive_ to groups like elves and the mages, and create a new order for mages to thrive in _without_ the fear of possession and _with_ a better understanding of the Fade and spirits. This is not a simple mission, or a solitary goal: this is a fucking revolution. Are you with me?”

This is where she was most anxious. She hoped she had built up enough trust with everyone that they would join her. She had reassured Solas they would. They had to.

It was Cassandra who spoke first. “If everything you say is true-”

“Have I given you reason to doubt me? Everything I predicted has come to pass. If you need more convincing, let us go to the Hinterlands and meet with Mother Giselle. Then we can go to Val Royeaux and meet with members of the Chantry. We’ll run into the Lord Seeker and you can see with your own two eyes how much he has changed, Cassandra. But please, we have to contact the templars, mages, and Wardens before it is too late. And we have to destroy the red lyrium supply.”Cassandra smiled at her. “You are not very patient for someone sent by the Maker.”

Nina blinked.

“If you had allowed me to finish, I would have said we haven't a moment to waste. Leliana, Cullen, Josephine? I believe we have ravens to send, agents to acquire and dispatch, and a journey to the Hinterlands to prepare for.”

Nina’s thoughts moved like molasses. “Then...you believe me?”

“You said it yourself: we have no reason to doubt you. All of your suggestions would be beneficial to the Inquisition with or without your visions of the future,” Leliana reasoned. Cullen spoke up. “I was going to suggest we go to the Templars regardless. From a military standpoint, your strategy is sound. We need allies and resources, and we can't stay in Haven forever. It's already not equipped for a force as big as the Inquisition, notwithstanding the growth you have foreseen. Although i think we should discuss your ideas about a new mage order before we decide on anything...final.” Josephine chimed in, “Haven is hardly suitable for entertaining the kind of nobles and diplomats we are likely to meet with in the future. It is not the stronghold of a powerful Inquisition, in terms of military or political strength. Once we complete your proposed courses of action, we will gain greater support from the nobles and governing bodies across Thedas. It is a huge endeavor but I believe you have the right approach: what we need is a revolution.” The others nodded in agreement.

It was now Varric’s turn to add to the overflowing reasons to support her plans. “If I can prevent the red lyrium madness from spilling out into the world and take down Corypheus once and for all...I'll help however I can. Let's get to it, ruby.”

Nina was stunned now. She had expected she would have to win them over a bit more, but this...this was significant. Things would really be in motion now. Overwhelmed, she hugged each of them, including Solas, surprising him once more. She had already convinced him, after all. _Just keeping up appearances,_ she lied to herself. Though her cheer would not disperse. She positively radiated excitement. To everyone, she affirmed, “We’re going to accomplish great things together.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone makes final plans before leaving and Solas is a moody punk. Nina is having none of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to antebellum13 for being my beta :)  
> And thank you to all of my wonderful readers and commenters <3

“It's going to take _three fucking weeks_ for us to reach the Hinterlands?”

Nina knew the game sped things up considerably, and she knew how far Thedas spanned after all of her travels with clan Lavellan, but _three fucking weeks?_ Oh that was gonna suck. “There has to be some magic based means of transport we can research. Something, anything. Although I guess that'll have to wait until we have more resources and Dorian gets here…” She began muttering to herself instead of actually joining the conversation. Which was not helpful.

Cassandra cleared her throat, drawing Nina out of her one-sided conversation. “ _If_ this Dorian still decides to join us, then yes, we can work with him to develop something. For now, we work with what we have. The Grey Wardens have already responded to us, and they will be here within weeks.”

Leliana spoke up. “That is the good news. The bad news is that there has been some...friction regarding our involvement in Grey Warden matters, and the other bad news is-”

“The templars will not speak to us if we ally with the mages,” Cullen finished, clearly frustrated. Leliana looked peeved at being interrupted but she wasn't going to say anything. It was clearly a touchy issue for the ex-templar. Nina frowned. _Oh no, this simply will not do._ The Warden issue would be solved in time, hopefully, but the templars...

“How did the Divine convince their leaders to meet at the conclave?” she inquired.

“She used her considerable influence and earned their trust. It was no small feat,” Leliana succinctly explained.

Josephine clarified, “Influence we do not yet possess, Nina. Our diplomatic power is still growing as an asset. This is why we must speak to Mother Giselle and determine how best to address the Chantry.”

“As well as stabilize the Hinterlands, as you yourself explained,” Solas sighed, clearly impatient to move on and set out. Nina had insisted he be part of the war council meetings. An offer had been extended to Varric as well, but he had swiftly declined. _Which is fine, he's “ass deep in red lyrium conspiracies,” as he so wonderfully put it._ Cassandra seemed to sense her thoughts, asking, “Have Varric’s contacts successfully disposed of the red lyrium issue? Should the templars fall to Corypheus, they will be less of a threat without the red lyrium, correct?”

Nina responded smoothly, “Yes, thank you for bringing that up. Varric has everything in place to permanently disrupt the supplies, he just has to make sure the plans go accordingly. Which is difficult to accomplish from Haven, as I understand it. His best people are dealing with it across Thedas, and he's hoping we can deal with the supply in the Hinterlands ourselves once we get there. Cullen, how are the efforts to establish evacuation protocols going?” she asked, ignoring the way Solas shifted slightly, something she recognized now as irritability.

“The soldiers know what to do, and most key civilian leaders have been informed of the routes, discretely. New people arrive every day, however, making the process...difficult. How you convinced Roderick to show us the hidden escape path is beyond me, but it will no doubt save many lives, even if we can't inform every single citizen beforehand.”

Nina nodded, considering all of the pieces that were in place and working to prioritize those that were not. Convincing Roderick had not been difficult once she had cornered him at the tavern and fed into his ego a bit. Okay, a lot. For about a week and a half.

“Leliana, how goes the hunt for the Venatori agents?”

“My spies have managed to track down and dispose of some of their camps throughout Orlais and Ferelden. We have had little luck in the Free Marches, and we have not found consistent reports of their numbers. I fear that we have many more camps to uncover in the coming months.”

Nina grimaced. That could have been better, but it was what it was. She turned to her most silent companion. “Solas, I believe you have news regarding Enchanter Fiona to share?”

“Indeed. Fiona has not yet signed into an agreement with Alexius. She would like to meet with us before joining the Inquisition, however, and Alexius insists that he be present during said meeting. Fiona has supported this. I suspect she is using Alexius as a failsafe in case your meeting is unfavorable, as she no doubt realizes that we have also contacted the templars. There is also the issue of the Inquisition’s lack of influence. And there is every indication that Alexius will betray you at this meeting, as he did in your visions.”

Nina sighed. More mixed news. Still, things were running along fairly smoothly. Nina knew everyone was working tirelessly, quickly, and with very limited resources. _The limited resources should change soon, though._ “Okay. I’ll contact Alexius and inform him of the new situation with the Wardens to see if we can get him to question his loyalties. Excellent work, all of you. I'm proud of what we’ve accomplished in a short amount of time. It is clear that we’ve done all we can from Haven. How soon can we leave for the Hinterlands, Cassandra?”

The Seeker answered without looking up from the report she was scanning. “Tomorrow. The preparations are complete. The scouts in the Hinterlands desperately need additional resources to defuse the conflicts and stabilize the region, as per your visions.” It irked Nina that they were calling her intel ‘visions’- _I'm not a seer, damn it-_ but she had given them little else to work with for the time being. Except Solas. He knew damn well that she was no diviner. He just liked to egg her on. _Though he doesn't look amused now._

Turning to him, she began handing out orders. “Solas, tell Varric we leave tomorrow. I'll finish up here and meet you in your room for one more training session before we depart.”

“As you wish,” he responded curtly before leaving the room. _What was up with that?_ Nina turned her attention away from what she realized was a distracted Solas- moody, even? Moodier? She discussed with Cullen how best to approach the templars who would be sympathetic to the Inquisition’s cause despite a mage presence. She also laid out plans with Leliana and Cassandra for attending the meeting with Fiona and Alexius, preparing for an ambush should he request their presence at Redcliffe Castle. They had already planned out a timetable for stabilizing the region and obtaining Dennet as an agent. Josephine then excused herself to continue seeking aid from her various contacts among Thedosian nobility to boost their numbers and resources. It was going well; Josephine was truly an unrivaled diplomat.

They still had much to plan. There were so many things in motion, and so many things they had changed. Solas had reassured her that they needed to make all of the changes they had decided on in the Fade, but it was difficult for Nina. She knew how things would play out before. Now she was left with the unknown. Would they still need to intervene in the assassination (or attempted assassination) of Empress Celene? How quickly would Corypheus resort to the Temple of Mythal? How quickly would their forces and support be able to grow, and would that rate of growth be enough for all of Nina’s ambitions to be met? _But really, why am I so outwardly calm about everything when I’m so uncertain and Solas is a moody punk even though he’s so certain about everything?_ Their immediate steps were going well, better than Nina had expected, but she couldn’t help feeling anxious about planning the next steps. _I’ve been depending on Solas to quell my fears about the changed future. I don’t know what will come next, but I know he’ll be there with me. Right?_

Nina finally left the Chantry to meet up with Solas. She intended to work out of him what he had been so moody about before beginning their session. She needed to know that he would stay, and that he still had faith in their plans.

They had been training together for the last three weeks. Frustratingly, her magical abilities were not as pronounced in reality as they were in the Fade, to say the least. She had cursed her vagueness for that condition daily as it became clear from their first session that they needed to start with the basics. Even more frustratingly, this entertained Solas to no end, his smugness barely suppressed as they worked through various _“simple”_ exercises. She still whupped his ass when they sparred in the Fade though. _Not bad for a beginner. Although I do have a considerable advantage there._

She walked to the door of Solas’ dwelling, knocked twice, then strode in.

He was pacing. Fervently.

“What crawled up your ass, chuckles?” she asked, borrowing Varric’s nickname to try to get a rise out of her friend. This earned her a glare, but he stopped pacing. “What will you do if we cannot save the mages and the templars? Surely the addition of the mages and the Grey Wardens is enough in terms of fighting power. And we need the mages for all of the research _you_ have proposed.”

_So he doesn't have faith that we’ll_ **_stick_ ** _to what we discussed_ . _That’s better than having no faith at all. I think I can work with this._ “Solas, the plan is still to ally with the ma-”

“And while we’re on the subject of the Grey Wardens, _why aren't we exiling them?_ They pose too much of a risk if they can be corrupted by Corypheus, and they have proven to be incapable of keeping level heads in the event of a crisis.” He was pacing again, going off about the foolishness of the Wardens. “They have no idea what they’re doing! Other _worrying_ acts aside-”

“Solas, we discussed plans for the Wardens already, too.”

“-you have any idea what trying to kill the old gods would have done? And how they could blindly follow Corypheus’ lackeys-

“Solas.”

“-beyond me, and while we’re on the subject of Corypheus’ lackeys, surely we could save time by writing off the templars entirely as they-”

“ _Solas._ ” He wouldn’t look at her, still pacing.

“-unnecessary, my agents are more trustworthy by far, and as for-”

Nina was running out of patience. “Can we just-”

Still pacing. “-templars have no place in the world we are trying-”

Nina snapped.

“GODS _DAMN_ IT SOLAS, would you stop pacing?!”

The shock on his face was matched only by her own.

_Shit shit shit._ “I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Can we just- can we sit down and discuss this? Your pacing and ranting are getting us nowhere. Literally.” He remained immobile for a few nerve wracking seconds before gesturing to the bed. There was no where else for both of them to sit in his little hut. Nina sat down slowly, never taking her eyes off him. “Is it just the Wardens and templars that have you worried? What's going on? This isn't like you,” she implored, her voice dropping, low and concerned.

He shifted uncomfortably where he sat, staring at the ground. “I know we discussed what decisions you would make should things go awry.”

“What decisions _we_ would make,” she corrected him.

“Yes...we. I still have...difficulty accepting that we are working _together._ And I have difficulty accepting the pace at which we are moving forward. My agents are doing all they can, and I know that the Inquisition is doing its best with what we have. Additionally…” He stopped himself, unwilling to say what would have come next.

“Tell me what's on your mind, don't just bottle it up.”

In a rush, Solas finished, “Will we truly side with the mages should the moment come? Two of your friends and advisors clearly favor the templars. How can I expect you to place our plans and considerations above those that benefit the Inquisition?”

“Solas,” she said firmly, his name becoming a command on her tongue, her hands moving to grasp his. His lavender-grey eyes crept up off the floor but he still wouldn’t face her, instead focusing their hands. “While I feel like I already know you and trust you, I also understand that you don't feel the same way.” Nina felt silly at her choice of words- _what is this, a confession of love?_ “We will steer the Inquisition in a direction _we_ deem appropriate. This I promise you. I am well aware that trust doesn't come easily to you, and that's okay. I'll continue to earn it by _showing you_ that I will always place greater consideration on _our_ goals.” She had felt him gradually bringing down his defenses during their time together in the Fade. She would take any progress she could get. And it had only been three weeks.

He looked up at her now, worry creasing his brow, his eyes filled with pain. _Shit, how did that make things worse?_

In elvhen, he elaborated, “ _You have already done much to earn my trust, to show me that our priorities are aligned, and yet I remain skeptical and…_ ”

“ _Pessimistic?_ ” she offered in their mother tongue. “ _Yes,”_ he breathed. “ _But that's not all that's bothering you,”_ Nina surmised. _He's too moody for that to be all._

Solas paused before shaking his head slowly. “ _How...how do I learn to trust others, should they be deserving of trust? To lead_ **_with_ ** _them? With...you.”_ The words came out of his mouth as if it hurt him to admit his true confliction. _Pride,_ Nina mused. _Always with the pride._

_“You say it as if it were the simplest thing in the world, friend. But it is far from your nature to trust easily. There is much you need to learn about yourself within the context of other people- people who earn your trust, people you respect, and people who do not become mad with power. You are not accustomed to this idea that you don't have to fix everything by yourself. I understand. Our relationship is a work in progress and our dynamic as a team is still in its infancy. But we_ **_have_ ** _made progress as a team, and you have made progress as an individual. Give yourself credit for that. You didn’t kill me when we met in the Fade for the first time, remember?”_ That earned her a chuckle. “ _I needed to know that you had not told the others the truth about me, or had not taken some other potentially damaging action. Especially after your comment about the Evanuris,”_ he replied.

“ _Would it have mattered? You could have killed me and disappeared, returning to your plan of finding some other way to defeat Corypheus and retrieve your orb, far, far away from here, or a thousand other things. But you didn’t. You let go of my throat. Then we had a frank conversation about your past, and what you can do- what_ ** _we_** **_will_** _do- to improve the future. Not just for our people, and not just out of a sense of duty, but for_ ** _you_** _, because_ ** _you_** _made the decision to change, to work with someone else and not shoulder this burden on your own. And that’s an amazing accomplishment.”_ Finally he looked at her. _“You are far too kindhearted, in all things, and you see in me traits that I have not considered myself to possess for a long time now.”_ Nina smiled at him. She switched to Common. “Nah, I just had a great therapist. Where I’m from we treat diseases and illnesses of the mind as well as of the body. A therapist helps with that. And you, my friend, could use a good therapist. Self compassion and mindfulness would be a good start for you, I think. But I’m no professional.”

He looked at her sharply. “ _Nina, you should not speak of your home, especially in Common.”_

She shrugged. “ _Even if someone were listening, what are they going to do? And don’t change the subject, Solas.”_

_“I believe we are done discussing my nature.”_ Nina pouted. She wasn’t proud of it, but she did it anyway. And what do you know, it worked; Solas’ stern expression dissolved into a gentle mien. “ _I will think on what you’ve said, lethallan.”_ She stopped pouting. “ _And work on your pride? I want you to be able to talk to me freely, Solas. Excessive pride- your pride- makes honest communication much more difficult. And we need to communicate honestly if I am to help you. If we are to help each other.”_ Solas sighed. “ _I will try, friend. But I make no promises.”_

_That’s not enough. S_ he frowned, trying to find the right words. “ _Solas, I...I don’t want you to be unhappy with our progress or courses of action. I don’t want you to leave suddenly.”_

Realization hit him. “ _Nina, I have no intention of leaving._ **_That_ ** _I can promise you.”_ Satisfied, she smiled at him, and gave his hands a squeeze before returning hers to her lap. _We just made a lot of progress._ At this rate she would have him actively practicing self love before Corypheus hit Haven. Maybe. It was one of her unofficial missions in Thedas, in any case.

“Excellent. Thank you, _lethallin._ Now, can we begin our lesson? I want to do a full barrier spell by bedtime.” It was ambitious, but Nina was anxious to get her magic in reality on par with her magic in the Fade.

Solas was giving her an odd look. He was thinking about something, she knew that much, but whether it was related to her lesson or their discussion, Nina couldn't tell. Finally he offered her a smug grin. “Then we haven't a moment to waste.”

After three weeks of training, she still couldn’t do anything much more powerful than igniting tiny fireballs- amounting to little more than an annoyance for her opponent (Solas, Cassandra, or Cullen) during sparring. Fire was her best area by far. She could freeze maybe a whole foot solid, shoot sad little bolts of lightning out of her fingertips, and put barriers around her hands. After a few rounds of her exercising various offensive spells on the training dummies, Solas said, for the umpteenth time, “It may be easier if you used a staff.” _Glad he’s returned to his usual smug self_ . She deflected, exclaiming, “And neglect my dear Eowyn? _Hell_ no.”

Seriously now, she added, “Besides, I’d be useless in a fight. Even with a proper staff, my abilities aren’t nearly as strong as they need to be for battle.”

Solas reluctantly agreed. “Let us focus on the barrier, then. Remember, visualize the protective shield around your target-”

“‘And tap into the well of mana flowing within you. Let it guide the shape you envision, and allow it to make that vision reality.’” Nina did her best Solas impression. He didn’t find it as funny as she did. “Varric would have laughed,” she grouched under her breath.

“I am not Varric.”

“No shit.”

“If you are _quite_ finished, Herald.”

_Gods damn it, I hate it when anyone calls me that._ She gave in to her frustration, pulling on the stresses from the war council meeting as well, and without giving much thought to the flow of her mana, flung her anger into it, through her, and onto the damn practice dummy. Instead of a barrier forming, the dummy combusted.

Nina’s jaw just about hit the floor.

“Shit! Solas, what the fuck did I just do?”

“You failed to create a barrier,” was his bland response.

She took a deep breath, fighting the urge to say something completely crass and counterproductive.

So much for the barrier spell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite chapters are coming up, y'all. Just you wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to the Hinterlands begins and Nina is sleep deprived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my readers, and to my lovely beta, [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13)
> 
> Y'all, her work is amazing, go check it out!
> 
> As always, enjoy.

_ Why did it have to be at the ass crack of dawn? Oh right, because I let Cassandra do the planning. Stupid, stupid me. _

They had been walking almost all day now, but Nina was still yawning. She got the pre-travel jitters and couldn’t sleep the night before, much to her and Solas’ disappointment. She was supposed to explain the Tolkien elves to him last night. He was supposed to teach her wards to set up around the camp, though she probably wouldn’t be able to cast them in reality for a while. As it was, her three companions chatted amicably amongst themselves, realizing early on that Nina was not a morning person and couldn’t hold much of a conversation in her current state. She piped in every once in awhile though.  _ Gotta stay awake somehow- fuck- _ Nina yawned long and loud. While her eyes were closed she ran into the horse that was carrying their tents, food, and miscellaneous supplies. The horse, Marigold, snorted at her in annoyance.

“Whoa there, ruby, don’t take it out on poor Marigold.” 

Nina smiled down sleepily at her oddly cheerful companion. “Happy to be on the road, Varric?” 

“You bet your lily white ass I am! I’ve been stuck indoors writing ravens for the last three weeks. I love writing as much as the next author, but there isn’t exactly much romance to keep you interested when you’re asking people to destroy literal blighted mind-control crystals. Fucking depressing.” She empathized with him. Her letters to Fiona, Alexius, and Knight-Templar Barris had been excruciating to write-  _ and I’m a fucking English major, damn it. _ She was starting to reach the snarky part of being sleep deprived, she could feel it. But she wasn’t quite there yet. 

“Are you excited to see Bianca, at least?” she probed, hoping to switch to a happier topic. Varric looked up at her, surprised. “How do you know about- you know what, nevermind. You just know things, right?”  _ Whoops. _ “Yep, that’s me. Knowing things and bringing them up at inappropriate times without any prior warning. Sorry.” To his credit, Varric was more amused than annoyed, laughing off her apology. “Hey, she was bound to come up eventually. But...yeah, I’m excited. Always am.” 

Now Cassandra was drawn to the conversation. Nina could practically hear her romance radar pinging. “Who  _ is  _ Bianca? Obviously she means a great deal to you for you to name your crossbow after her,” Cassandra concluded. “A story for another time, Seeker. Maybe you’ll even get to meet her.” Varric winked at Nina. 

“Always leave them wanting more, eh master author?”

“Exactly, ruby.”

Solas stayed quiet at the back. Nina slowed her pace while Cassandra tried to wrangle some answers out of Varric at the front of their little procession. “Do you have any objections to me telling them about where I'm from tonight?” she whispered. Solas gave her a look that she had been interpreting as meaning “what the hell,” but his verbal response was much more positive. “If you are ready and have your mind set on telling them...then I see little point in prolonging the inevitable.” Nina nodded her agreement. “I was thinking the same thing. Alright, here goes. Gotta save Varric from being interrogated by Cass  _ again _ , anyway.” 

They had been approaching what looked to be an excellent camping area. The road was clear near the cliff-side site, and the vegetation was limited. She was reasonably sure no one could hear them from the road, and there was little room about the barren terrain for bandits to sneak up on them. “Hey you two, let’s stop here to make camp. It’s getting dark. Also, I think it’s time to tell you about my home, but I need to get some food in my belly first.” She would drown the snarky phase in foodstuffs, by gods.

Varric and Cassandra looked back at her, Varric with a look of concern and Cassandra with an interrogative glimmer in her eye. The four of them made quick work of setting up camp and distributing the dried meats and fruits they had brought with them. Varric said something about it being too late to hunt and “this is why we have the food supplies, Seeker.” Nina had also snuck some of the food from her special chest into their supplies. While everyone sat around the fire Cassandra and Solas had started, Nina chowed down her portion of the meat and fruits quickly.  _ I dunno if I'm just hungry or what, but that was pretty damn good. _ She then brought out the cloth-wrapped Earth treats and set the bundle on her lap. “What have you got there, ruby?” Varric asked between bites of meat. 

“It’s food from home.”

Solas raised an eyebrow at her but remained silent, watching her as intently as the other two.

“Where is this mysterious home of yours?” Cassandra’s eyes pierced through her. 

_ Go big or go home, Nina. Though not actually. _ “I’m from another universe, originally. My universe has no Fade, no magic, and no races other than humans. But we have stories about other races, especially elves and dwarves. We use science and technology in the place of magic. Is...is everyone following along?” She looked between the three of them, unsure of whether or not she could continue. Cassandra looked like she had totally short circuited and Varric looked like he was waiting for a punchline. Solas did his best to look as bewildered as he had been when she told him the first time.  _ Ever the actor. _ They had decided that overall it would be far less complicated for Solas to pretend ignorance. Whether or not they would regret that decision remained to be seen. Nina mostly tried not to think about it and hope for the best.

“It is true that her magic is unlike anything I’ve seen in all my travels,” Solas answered slowly, pretending to take in the “new” information.

“Wait, seriously? How the fuck is that even possible?” Varric started to catch on. 

“I’m not really sure. I can travel between universes, but this is the first time I’ve done it. I’ve come with certain abilities and attributes in place. For example, I really did grow up with Clan Lavellan, I just have the memories of that life  _ and _ the life from my home universe now. Arriving at the conclave kind of made me remember everything. My magic abilities, my fighting abilities, and my weapon were all things I set before coming here using what I call ‘conditions’. I was alright with a bow in my clan, but that was just for hunting and the occasional spying. I wanted to be a fighter who could actually contribute something, so I kind of...enhanced my fighting knowledge using the conditions. Although I kind of fucked up the magic condition; I made it too vague. The food is here because I made another condition that I would have a chest full of stuff from home in Haven and Skyhold.”

“And what of your visions? Are they one such ‘condition’? What of the woman who saved you at the conclave?” demanded Cassandra.

“The woman...shit, Cass, I can’t tell you without Leliana being here. I really can’t. As for the visions...ah, that gets really complicated. They aren’t a condition. Before I ever came to Thedas, I learned what happened concerning the Hero of Ferelden, the Champion of Kirkwall, and the- the events with Corypheus.” She and Solas had left out the part where she becomes Inquisitor. Something about not trusting the others to want to do it unless they came up with the idea themselves. Solas made a very convincing case. “The why to that would require explaining aspects of my world I don’t even know where to begin with. Like video games- the games part is sort of easy, but the video part? And explaining what it actually does, beyond breaking down the name? See, you’re already confused.” Indeed, each of them looked lost, even Solas. Nina didn’t even think that was an act...probably.

“I’ll answer any questions you have over the course of the next few weeks, provided I can figure out how to answer them. I'll try, but some stuff will just take time. However, for tonight, as a treat for putting up with these most bizarre circumstances, I brought these goodies from home to share.”

She unwrapped the cloth and revealed a bag with four perfect chocolate croissants, miraculously not smushed, marzipan intricately shaped like rose blossoms, and Swiss meringue cookies, also miraculously intact. She handed out portions to everyone, naming each item as she went, and sat back down to watch their reactions. Solas was the first to dig in, testing out the marzipan. His eyes lit up. “This is delicious,” was his simple and only comment, apparently choosing to savor the sweets with an intensity Nina could only expect from Solas. She allowed her lips to curl into a knowing grin.  _ Of course he’d like the almond-based sweet. _ Cassandra and Varric bit into their edible blossoms, Cassandra commenting, “It is a shame to eat something so pretty,” before nibbling on one. Their responses were much less subdued than Solas’, though they agreed with his sentiment. “How is the texture so smooth?” Cassandra asked incredulously. Nina explained the relevant machines and technology to them, then explained how the flour and chocolate in the croissants were processed- as well as she understood it. 

This prompted some eager bites into the croissants. Nina joined them- after that salty dried meat it was good to eat something fluffy and gooey. Varric actually moaned into his pastry. It turns out he’s a chocolate fan- at least when it comes to Earth chocolate. Nina laughed around her last bite of croissant. The other three were discussing how it was different and similar to other foods they had eaten around Thedas- Solas had to make up his usual nonsense about foods he had eaten or seen in the Fade. Nina bit into her meringue and her companions turned at the loud crunch. They were your standard vanilla Swiss meringues, crunchy on the outside, marshmallowy in the very center, but they were so delectable in their simplicity. Cassandra was the first to try these. She chewed slowly, closing her eyes. She opened them and looked to Nina, asking, “How does it-”

“Melt in your mouth? Science. It's crunchy and solid because it is baked at a low temperature for a long time, drying it out, but it remains light because of all of the air bubbles that get incorporated into the batter before it's baked. So it melts easily in your mouth despite its crunchy form.” Solas and Varric were trying theirs now. Based on the looks on their faces and the little hums and moans of approval, Nina concluded that this brief exploration into Earth foods was a success.

“Thank you for sharing foods from your home with us, Nina. I’m sure you will miss them when they are gone,” Cassandra added sympathetically. 

“Oh, no, didn’t I mention? Part of the chest condition is that nothing in it runs out. I just took out what I wanted to bring for this trip. Every time I open and close the box, the contents are replenished...so...unlimited foods from my home universe. When we get back, I was thinking we could break out the bottles of wine and maybe even some tequila when I tell Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine my secret. What do you all think?”

“You want to bring more people into this weirdness? I'm not even sure I completely buy it.” Varric asked, licking the last bits of chocolate off his fingers. Cassandra had a pensive look on her face. “If traveling between universes can even be considered possible...it would explain your...oddities. And this food is nothing that would be possible to make in Thedas.” She nodded to herself before looking up at Nina. “I still believe you are sent by the Maker. And that belief tells me that you are what you say you are. But why do you wish to tell more people your secret?” 

Nina shrugged. “I made a promise and I plan to keep my word. Especially if all it takes to keep my word is sharing the truth about where I’m from with my closest friends and advisors. The thing that worries me most is whether or not they’ll believe me. I was worried about you three believing me, and I feel like they know me somewhat less well than y’all- uh, you all. But...since you all seem to believe me...” Again she shrugged. 

“They will understand, Nina. We will ensure it. I am glad you told us, and I am proud to call you my friend,” Cassandra affirmed. Nina felt her heart swell, and she couldn’t stop herself from hugging her. When Nina sat back down, Varric patted her hand and added, “You have my support, ruby. For what it’s worth.” Nina was quick to hug him, too. She was so grateful for all of them. Varric patted her back before pulling away, adding, “One question though: what’s tequila?” 

Nina smirked. “It’s a very strong form of alcohol made from a desert plant. I take shots of it, followed by biting a lime. Easy way to get smashed,” she added for his benefit. 

“Huh. So...drinks are on you when we get back?” Varric had a wicked look on his face. 

“You got it, master author.” Varric made a huffing sound, as if he had won some victory.  _ Varric plus tequila? Oh, that's gonna be fun. _

She glanced over at Solas, who was still eating the snacks with a level of attentiveness she had never before witnessed when sharing foods with friends. Trying to draw him out of whatever internal dialogue he had going on, Nina asked, “Solas, do you have any beverage requests? I have an almond liqueur I think you might enjoy. Mix that with some whiskey, add a touch of lemon, and you’ve got yourself a fine cocktail. Or you could sub the whiskey for sugar and you've got an amaretto sour.”

Jerked from his thoughts, his intense focus shifted to her as she continued her description of various drinks, guessing at what everyone would like. Again, this prompted a conversation comparing Thedosian foods. “It sounds as though we’ll have quite the celebration upon our return,” Solas remarked, clearing enjoying the conversation. 

“I think it is too early to plan an extravagant celebration. But perhaps a small gathering once we are back in Haven would be good for morale,” Cassandra relented. 

“Yes, that's what I'm talking about! And on that cheerful note, I think it's time for bed,” Nina decided, exhaustion weighing down her words. She laced arms with Cassandra, who assigned watch schedules as they walked to their tent. Solas was first, Cassandra second, and Varric third, leaving the final watch for Nina. She mumbled her thanks to Cass as they entered their tent and began to strip off their armor. Nina was accustomed to wearing little clothing when she slept, regardless of which life she lived: Thedosian pre-conclave, Thedosian post-conclave, and Earther. It might not be the wisest decision, but she knew from experience that she could throw on enough clothing and armor from a completely nude state in the event of an attack. It wasn't fun, but she could do it. She was too accustomed to sleeping this way to change her habits now. There were some things that were just consistent across universes.  _ Including my foul mouth. _ So, per usual, once all of her armor was removed, she stripped off her leather leggings and under-tunic. Nina began to put on the soft, thick tunic she slept in during cold weather and stopped midway. Cassandra was staring at her.

A blush crept across the seeker’s face. “I did not mean to stare- I merely- I  _ wondered _ if that is a Dalish breast band, or if they are from your...universe. But then I noticed those-  _ are those even smallclothes? _ ” she finished, astonished.

Nina looked down at her thong and sports bra.  _ Oh. Maybe I should have brought my actual smallclothes...they just aren't as comfortable. Especially the bra band… _

Nina finished tugging down her tunic, just covering her bare ass. “Yeah...sort of. They're from my universe. They're surprisingly comfortable. I thought the thong- these bottoms- might chafe with the leggings, but the soft leather feels surprisingly nice.” Her choice of underwear was no doubt especially shocking. Nina tried to deal with her Thedosian smallclothes after she regained her memories, she truly did, but the underwear was just not as comfortable as the stretchy cotton thongs in her special chest, and the breast band didn't feel as secure as her sports bras. So once the special chest arrived, she promptly switched to Earth undergarments. The thong she had on now was sporty and black, hardly sexy by Earth standards, but no doubt scandalous to Cassandra. “Sorry, I honestly forgot I was wearing them. I didn't mean to flash you,” she tried to joke, which seemed to help Cassandra become less tense. 

“I understand, our small clothes are certainly...different from what you're used to.” Cassandra hesitated before continuing. “May I ask you something?” Nina motioned for her to go ahead. The poor thing still looked slightly uncomfortable. “Is it not...unpleasant to have them...wedged  _ there _ in such a way?” Nina bit back a laugh.  _ Wedged, indeed. _ “They can be really comfortable if you get used to them. Which I am. Obviously,” she laughed now, giving in to her sleep deprivation and the absurdity of it all. “I'm sorry Cass, I'm just gonna...step out for a second.” She walked out of the tent quickly so Cass wouldn't see her doubling over, her body shaking as she laughed as silently as she could.  _ I made Cassandra curious about my underwear. She asked about the thong wedgie thing! Gods, I am absurdly tickled. And sleep deprived. I guess anything would make me laugh right now.  _ She covered her mouth to stifle the next wave of chortles that bubbled up inside her, threatening to break free.

“Is there something wrong, lethallan?”

Nina jumped. By the sound of his low voice, Solas was right behind her.  _ Creeping, damned sneaky wolf! _ She turned around and looked at Solas’ face in the dim firelight, fighting back another chuckle. “I'm fine, Solas. Just got a case of the giggles,” she finally managed to whisper to him. They walked several paces away from the camp to continue their conversation. 

Drawing him closer, Nina hummed, “I embarrassed Cassandra with my smallclothes from home. Her face was hilarious!” 

He appraised her expression in the flickering light from the campfire, trying to decipher something that was lost in her communication. Still in hushed tones, he clarified, “Her reaction to your smallclothes was enough to prompt what I can only describe as a fit of laugher?”

“Yes!” Nina giggled. 

He smiled at her, finally realizing what was going on. “I believe you are overly lacking in sleep, Nina.”

“I know, right? It's all just so ridiculous…” Suddenly she shivered.  _ Oh right. I'm barely wearing any clothes.  _ Wrapping her arms around herself, she huddled closer still to Solas acting purely on instinct. Gently, slowly, he wrapped his arms around her shivering torso. “You're freezing,” he murmured into her hair. 

“Yeah. No pants. Barely any- you know what, never mind. How are you so warm?”

“I am wearing pants.”

She giggled again, burying her head in his chest to stifle the sounds. When the giggle fit passed, she looked up to see him peering down at her with a...strange look on his face.  _ Maybe it's just the light. Or the sleep deprivation. Speaking of which- _ she turned her head, yawning deeply into the chill night air before nuzzling her head back into his chest. She felt his torso rumble as he chuckled. They stood like that for a while. Nina’s breathing slowed gradually as the thud of Solas’ heartbeat provided an even rhythm to ease her frazzled mind.

“Go to sleep, Nina. I will find you in the Fade once my shift is over,” Solas assured her.  _ Is it just me or is his voice extra soothing right now? _ “Mmmmm,” was her eloquent reply, and they walked back to her tent, Nina practically clinging to Solas for warmth. “Good night, Solas,” she whispered close to his ear. Nina let go of him and clutched her tunic tightly around herself. Were it not for her big, mouth open, eyes shut,  _ beast _ of a yawn, she would have caught the hungry look in his eyes.

Instead, she just absent-mindedly pulled her tunic down further as she walked towards the tent. The last thing Nina remembered was haphazardly pulling a blanket over her thawing body before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

***

When she came to in the Fade, she was in a memory of a friend’s pool, wading in the deep end. The sun was shining. She smiled and enjoyed the feeling of the warmth on her face and shoulders, the gentle salt water of the pool softly churning around her as she moved her limbs.  _ Apparently I still miss the water. Huge surprise there. _ She dove under for as long as she could then swam to the shallow end to recline on the steps. 

_ I wonder how long until Solas gets here.  _ She thought back to their short conversation after Varric and Cassandra went to sleep.  _ That strange look… _ She frowned and she lazily moved her feet in the water.  _ That wasn't...that can't have been...I was just tired. Seeing things I wanted to see. _ But a small voice in the back of her mind told her, “ _ Idiot, that was longing. _ ” 

She decided to swim laps to shake off that voice. But try as she might, it wouldn't shut the hell up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fade shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting! I had to switch to Saturday updates, graduate math and stats are INSANE.
> 
> Thanks to [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13) for being the best beta <3

Solas was pacing around the camp. He told himself it was just to dutifully keep watch, but he was lying as he furiously thought back on the last three weeks. 

She was not what he had expected. And he didn't mean her circumstances, because  _ of course _ that was unexpected-  _ no one _ could have anticipated her. What he pondered now was  _ her _ \- her mind, her spirit, the way her pale thighs crept up to her perfectly round-

**_No_ ** _ , _ he fumed at himself.  _ She is here to assist you. You have allowed her to up until now because she  _ **_knows_ ** _ things and her help will be invaluable, but you will not become involved. You share a common goal, and that is all. _

Then why did he put his arms around her? Warm her with his body? Delight in her sleepy giddiness? He could have led her back to her tent, instructed her to put pants on or go to sleep, or both, and yet... _ and yet _ . 

He stopped pacing. 

He had not been able to send her away from him. Could not pry himself from her company until she was falling asleep in his arms. Could not keep his eyes from trailing along her skin, along the vallaslin  _ she asked him _ to remove. She was so comfortable with him- how had she put it? “ _ I already know you and trust you,” _ a fact that became increasingly apparent the more she relied on him, predicted which foods he would enjoy, and...touched him. All of which he had come to expect from her.  _ Do you desire such things from her _ ? _ Especially her touch? This is a dangerous game you are playing, old wolf. But the thought of losing her...no. _ He shook his head.  _ You will not.  _ Regardless of how readily he admitted it, he had grown accustomed to her companionship. No, more than that, he was growing to rely on her as she relied on him. He knew now he could trust her; she was already privy to his most guarded secrets and kept  _ all of them _ . She already knew him. She was correct in saying so, as much as it baffled him. All he had to do was allow himself to grow closer and know her in return. 

He didn't know if he was ready for that. But he knew if he continued to be around her, he would do it regardless. 

Solas thought back to their times spent together in the Fade. He could not deny the level of comfort they shared in one another’s presence. They enjoyed needling each other, sparring with words as often as they did with magic. She was infuriatingly better at harnessing it in the Fade than him, but he was dramatically more adept with magic in reality, providing an even footing for them to taunt each other. It was thrilling to share stories about their worlds, and Nina seemed to enjoy his stories of Arlathan as much as he enjoyed her stories of Earth. It amazed him how similar the two worlds were, surface-level differences aside. Her people from the other universe, who she referred to as Earthers, were as varied in their innovation and corruption as his people in Arlathan were. 

Solas realized his watch was almost over. He had promised to meet Nina in the Fade, but that made part of him uneasy. Given his current emotions, he would only be drawn closer to her, at best, and at worst... _ you will be lost in her. And yet losing yourself in her does not mean sacrificing your aims or losing sight of what must be done in penance for...your mistakes. Mistakes she of which she is well aware and which she is helping you make right.  _ He sighed. It would have been simpler had she been unaware of his plans.  _ But lonely. As ever. _

He walked back over to the tent to wake Cassandra. He opened the flap to find Cassandra nestled neatly in her bedroll while Nina…

Nina’s tunic was hitched up around her hips, her blanket askew and failing to cover her butt-  _ those must be the Earther smallclothes that caused Cassandra to react in such an amusing way _ . He could see why. They were simple but hardly covered anything.  _ Her skin… _ Solas lingered on her bare skin long enough to notice goosebumps. After a moment of deliberation, he stepped inside the tent and moved the blanket so that it covered her fully. She clutched the blanket around her and Solas could not help but feel an immense affection. Shaking his head as if to clear such thoughts from his mind, he turned to gently jostle the Seeker awake. She started and Solas motioned for her to remain silent, pointing to Nina. Cassandra nodded, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she quietly exited the tent behind Solas, taking special care not to wake Nina. 

At first he was amazed at how quickly they had all become attached to her. Now that he knew her better, he would expect nothing less. The short-haired elf from another world had taken to them all quite quickly and was never hesitant to show her affection or care for them. It was more than charisma. Her warmth was infectious and her ability to treasure each life around her- even Roderick, who he  _ knew _ irked her- was open and genuine. She was making this strange assortment of people into a family.

Solas nodded amicably at Cassandra before heading to his tent. He realized he could not break his promise to meet Nina tonight. Resolved, he settled down and felt that almost dizzying sensation as he entered the Fade.

***

It didn't take Solas long to find Nina. Per usual, she was situated near a body of water- although this one was quite small.

“Hello,” he greeted her quietly, trying not to startle her, even though he never did. Somehow she always sensed his presence as he arrived.  _ She must feel your aura. _

“Solas! You finally made it. Come, change into something more appropriate for swimming and join me in the pool.” She splashed at him playfully, punctuating her request. He smiled. “And what is more appropriate,  _ gra mi’durgen _ ?”

“Red diamond? Oh! Ruby!” she laughed gleefully. “Yes, I love it. Umm, let's see if I can…” She flicked her wrist and a pair of short, loose breeches appeared on an odd chair next to the pool. Then she smiled devilishly. “Or these, actually…” She flicked her hand and a another article of clothing appeared. She pointed at the second item and declared, “Those are speedos.”

Solas picked up the smaller garment to examine it more closely. The cut resembled that of smallclothes. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Are all of your people so scantily clad?”

She giggled, pushing back in the water so that she was almost completely submerged, gracefully keeping her head above water. “Well, some of us, yeah. Wait, what do you mean ‘all of your people’? Who else have you seen…” She flipped forwards in the water to face a blushing Solas. “I was not- I went to wake Cassandra for her watch and your blanket and tunic were tangled above your hips-”

“ _ So you saw my thong.”  _ Her voice was deadpan but her expression was one of mortification. 

“I didn't intend- you have my deepest apologies,” he flushed a deeper shade of pink, unable to look her in the eye.  _ Why am I embarrassed? It was not I who decided to forgo  _ **_pants_ ** _. _ He sheepishly looked back up at her to see if she would accept his apology.

The little trickster was laughing at him.

“Oh my gods, Solas, you should have seen your face! Even better than Cassandra’s, I swear,” she huffed out between giggles. Now Solas’ face flushed for an altogether different reason. _She fooled me. Played games with_ ** _me._**  Deciding to repay her in kind, he smoothed his expression and nonchalantly asked, “Does that mean you wouldn't mind showing me more of these Earther smallclothes, then? Surely you wouldn't mind educating-”

“Will this suffice?”

She languidly rose up the steps of the pool, revealing her swimming attire. Solas inhaled sharply. He had tried to ignore what she was wearing while she was in the water, but she certainly had his full attention now.

Her bottoms were more or less like the “speedo,” revealing less than the “thong,” but they hugged her hips  _ quite _ deliciously. What surprised him more was her top. There was a band of fabric below her breasts that divided into straps. As she turned for him to view the clothing-  _ although calling it clothing is somewhat generous _ \- she revealed that the straps in the back crisscrossed in an intricate pattern, gliding up and over her shoulders to smoothly transition into the main piece that covered her breasts. What little they covered left just enough to the imagination. His eyes moved to her face and wet hair, admiring the way her cropped locks reflected the sunlight, the shine almost purple. She was stunning. Solas felt a blush creep up his cheeks as he realized how long his gaze had lingered on her. Nina’s ears turned pink. 

“Why are  _ you _ embarrassed?” she accused. He blanched.  _ She is embarrassed because you are. _ Nina switched tactics, returning to their usual banter. “I thought you wanted an education on all things Earther. It's just a swimsuit.” 

His awkwardness abated rapidly. “Had I realized how willing you were to provide such an education, I may have asked sooner. Earther swimming attire is quite...interesting.”  _ That is not banter, old wolf. _

“Captivating, even?”

His stomach flipped.  _ This is another thing entirely. _ Solas moved closer to her, his feet having a mind of their own, his hands clasped behind his back. Peering down at her with a sly grin on his face, he rumbled, “Alluring, even.”

“You've seen mine. Show me yours.” She took one step towards him to close the gap between them. The speedo was in her hand and she held it up, letting it dangle on one finger. He raised an eyebrow at her. “I do not recall making such a bargain.”

“You can hardly swim with me in  _ these _ ,” she countered, spreading her free hand over his chest, boldly moving lower until it was just above the ties to his pants. He gazed down at her wide eyed, heart racing. She let out a throaty laugh, pulling her hand away and stepping back, walking towards the other end of the pool. Over her shoulder, she called, “Have it your way, stubborn wolf.” Without any other warning, she used force magic to propel him forward until he was hanging over the water of the pool. 

“ _ Nina,”  _ he warned. 

“Yes, Solas?” she replied sweetly. And with that, she let him fall.

He took a deep breath before being plunged beneath the surface. It was strangely peaceful beneath the water. The temperature was perfect. He was angry at first but now he dove deeper, opening his eyes in the clear water so that he could admire the patterned tiles in varying shades of blue at the bottom. He heard a thundering sound as Nina dove into the water next to him. They swam up to the surface. Nina was still laughing. “ _ Now  _ will you try on the speedo? It'll make swimming easier, I promise.” Her eyes were fixed on his, resolve and hopefulness all rolled into one expression.  _ Maybe you can take her off guard. _ Letting himself feel mischief and allowing her that small warning, he willed his attire to change into the speedo. He felt utterly exposed, but he nonetheless rose up for Nina to admire him. She was completely distracted by his bare broad shoulders, lightly kissed with freckles, and his slender toned torso. He couldn't help but feel smug. She sensed his emotions and smirked at him before continuing her ogling. Quickly, he lunged for her, grabbing her about the hips and hoisting her out of the water. She half laughed, half cried out in surprise, “ _ Solas!”  _

He gave her his most wolfish grin before replying, “Yes, Nina?” and threw her up into the air above the deep end of the pool. Her eyes were ablaze as she fell with a loud splash into the water. Without skipping a beat, she swam towards him under the surface and  _ yanked  _ his legs, pulling him down with her. He surfaced gasping for air and she just laughed. “Well played, Nina.” Self satisfaction radiated from her. “Truce?” she chirped, offering her hand. He thought about pulling her under again until she added, “I think we have enough time to start The Hobbit before my shift.” She had promised to tell him about the Earther stories surrounding elves, he remembered. 

“Truce,” Solas agreed, shaking her hand. 

“Awesome. Let's change up the scenery a bit…”

Suddenly they were standing in a room with what he assumed was a couch on one side and a large black rectangle on the other. She had changed out of her swimsuit and into a short dark green dress with a very low neckline. He willed his clothes to return to more normal attire, happy to be out of the speedo, though Nina had been right; swimming was easier in it. “I thought it might be fun to introduce you to Tolkien and movies all in one go. We’re going to watch the cartoon version because that's the one I remember the best. Plus the art is really cool,” she explained, striding over to the rectangle and tapping it on one side. The side facing the couch lit up like veilfire. She explained that it was called a TV and how it worked, then explained movies and how they were made.  _ This would be a great source of entertainment. I wonder if Arlathan would have developed something similar had it not crumbled.  _ He felt his face darken as the memories of everything that was lost swallowed him in an instant.  _ No. Not now. _

Nina took his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. “What's wrong?” 

He took a deep shuddering breath. “I was remembering Arlathan. I wondered if we would have made something like this had it survived.” He halfheartedly noted how honest he was being with her. She nodded in understanding. “Do you want to talk about it? I'm more than willing to listen, especially since…” she trailed off, apparently unwilling to finish her comment.  _ Especially since she's the only one you have to talk to. The only one who isn't a spirit, in any case. _ He wasn't discounting his spirit friends; they were his oldest and dearest companions. But the fact remained that he lived in a reality separated from the Fade, and his existence there was...wanting, at times. Before  _ she _ came into his life. Nina pulled him over to the couch and they sat facing each other. He stared at her hands.  _ You do that often. Why not look her in the eye? _ He knew damn well why he didn’t. Her compassion, her understanding, her eagerness to help...all of these things she conveyed to him wordlessly. He felt utterly undeserving of it, of her. But…

He finally looked her in the eyes. He owed her that much.

“I...am not entirely sure what to say or where to begin,” he admitted somewhat bitterly. “I do not doubt our plans, or that we will change the world, you and I. However, this is the first time I have lead  _ with _ someone. And I do not know...the dynamic has been an adjustment. Beyond that, I have…fears.” His pride was eating away at him but he ignored it as best he could and continued. “There is so much pain, so much I wish I had known. But would I have acted any differently? Could I have done any better? Will I do any better now? I have no more room for error, Nina. The People need me, but most importantly, they need me to  _ succeed. _ ”

She nodded sympathetically, putting a hand delicately on his shoulder. He leaned into her touch until they were curled up next to each other. He sighed, taking comfort in her presence, breathing in her scent. They shifted slightly so he was leaning against her with his back to her chest, one arm curled around his stomach while her other hand idly traced patterns on his shoulder and chest. She spoke. 

“Sometimes that kind of thinking can be a trap. It's good to learn what you can from your experiences, but if you move around the possibilities for what _could_ have been in your head too much, you end up running yourself in circles. The fact is that you didn't know what would have happened. And maybe things _could_ _have_ been different, but you have no control over that now. I think your attitude to move forward and fix what you can is a good one. It's a matter of finding the balance between reflection on the past and planning for the future.”

He snorted. “Easier said than done, I know,” she murmured. “I have trouble with obsessing over the future. You, I think, have trouble with both,” she softly teased. He chuckled. “Yes. But...a worthy goal, I think. To find that balance.” 

She hummed her agreement. “As for whether you'll do better...I know you will. Not because of some knowledge of the future, but because you're you. And  _ you _ are changing  _ yourself. _ As evidenced by the fact that you're confiding in someone,” she finished.

“I- thank you, Nina.” Her assessment of him was far from wrong. He was at a loss, wanting to say so much more to her but unable to find the words. Then something occurred to him. 

“You have been unhesitatingly kind to everyone, but...are you alright? I have not thought to ask after your wellbeing. For that, I am truly sorry, lethallan.” 

His query was met with silence. Her hand stilled.  Solas left her arms and turned to look at her face. Her gaze was distant, lost in thought. “Nina?” he implored, tone tinged with worry.

“I want to know what I am. How I have these powers. I...I didn't really believe I could do it until I came here. I don't regret the decision to come here, to help you,” she clarified, eyeing him fiercely. “But I wish I knew where to look for answers. There's just nothing like this- like  _ me _ \- in this universe or my first one. It's…” She stopped, unable to finish. She looked so helpless and small. His ferocious  _ mi’durgen _ . Without another thought he pulled her into his arms. “ _ We will find answers, my diamond. I promise you.”  _ Nina clutched him, nodding into his chest. He slowly pulled back to face her. He cupped her cheek in his hand, pulling her gaze up to his, then leaned his face closer to hers, their noses almost touching. Closing his eyes, he angled his lips towards hers.

And she disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to the Hinterlands continues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos, dearies! You're so, so wonderful.
> 
> Also thanks to [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13) for being my beta!

Nina awoke to find Varric crouching over her. She gave him a halfhearted thumbs up.  _ You're so lucky that I love you, Varric. You just interrupted something...actually, I'm not sure what it was. _ Grimacing, she sat up and reached for her leather leggings. He glanced at them with his eyebrow raised before backing out of the tent. She pulled on the leggings and her boots and stepped outside, heading straight for the dimly lit campfire and sitting next to it. There was a rustling sound coming from the other tent, but she brushed it off as Varric getting settled in.  _ How does Solas sleep with all that noise? Ugh, speaking of Solas. _ She put her head in her hands.  _ This is gonna be awkward in the morning. Or maybe not, maybe he’ll just act like nothing happened. _

“Nina.” 

She jumped. Again.  _ Sneaky, son of a bastard, no good  _ **_wolf_ ** _! _ “ _ Fenedhis,” _ she muttered under her breath, looking up at him. Hurt flashed across his eyes and was gone in an instant, leaving a neutral expression. She could tell by his posture that he was still tense, however.  _ Is it his posture though? His posture is neutral, too. _ She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. 

“That wasn't directed at you,” she whispered. “I just didn't hear you. Let's…” She got up and motioned for them to walk outside of camp.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered abruptly. “Attempting to kiss you was ill-advised, and I should not have assumed you-” 

Nina curled her hand around his jaw, gently pulling so he would face her, and pressed her lips against his, drawing on all of her willpower to keep the kiss simple, almost chaste. Slowly, regretfully, she pulled away. 

“We didn't do anything before. Now we have. And you still have nothing to apologize for,” she murmured. “I know you need time to think about...this. Take all the time you need. And go back to sleep, please. I would feel guilty if I kept you up.” He just stared for a moment, his face swirling with emotions, too many for Nina to make out what he was thinking. “ _ As you wish, my diamond. I will consider what this means. I- thank you.”  _ His expression evened out and he smiled gratefully at her. She smiled back at him and waited until he was back in his tent before placing her head in her hands again.  _ What the fuck did I just do. _ She knew he wasn't ready. Sure, she felt his attraction to her, but he still barely knew her. There hadn't been enough time for him to figure out his attraction to her- what it meant to  _ him _ , what he wanted from  _ them _ . And she needed him to figure that out before they pursued anything. Hell,  _ she _ needed to figure out what  _ she _ wanted from them before pursuing anything.  _ But there I go, jumping the gods damn gun. Impatience, thy name is Nina. _

Huffing at herself, she walked over to their packs and pulled out the marzipan she had saved to eat later. Sitting once again next to the campfire, she nibbled on the sweet with a fervor.  _ Guess this will be good practice in patience for me. Ugh, the thought of all this waiting… _

Chewing on the marzipan helped. The exhaustion from no sleep and walking all day had left her with low blood sugar, even after last night’s meal. Though elves didn't really get low blood sugar in her experience.  _ Just another part of me that's an anomaly. _

Left with her thoughts and little to distract her from them, she ran through plans she and Solas developed and practiced conversations about home in her head. She still didn't know how to explain video games, other than maybe start by explaining TV’s. She didn't want to tell them that she came to this universe because of a videogame. It somehow... _ cheapened _ how much this world and everyone in it meant to her. It wasn't a game. Her life was in Thedas, old and new, though she didn't know for how long. 

Slowly the sun crept up the horizon. It cast rays of deep violet, golden yellows, and vibrant corals. She was accustomed to sunsets on the beach from her Earther perspective but had seen very few sunrises through those eyes. She was entranced, finally faced with a distraction powerful enough to pull her out of her thoughts. She watched as the colors slowly blended together until the horizon became a sheet of various shades of blue. It was finally bright out and she could linger no longer. Sighing softly, she went to wake Cassandra only to find the Seeker up and starting to put on her armor.  _ Of course.  _

“Good morning, Cass!” she greeted cheerily. 

Cassandra greeted her warmly in kind. “Good morning, Nina. Do you feel better today?” 

Nina’s heart swelled as she noticed the kindness in the Seeker’s eyes. “Much better,” she beamed. “Thank you again for the way you ordered the shifts. That was a great help.”

Cassandra smiled at her. “It was a small thing.” Finishing with the last of her armor, she added, “I'll go and wake the others while you get dressed.” 

Nina nodded dutifully and did as she was told. The armor felt like a second skin already. Harritt had done a fine job outfitting them with what little he had to work with, although he had no need to craft weapons for any of them. That helped conserve resources, at least. She clambered out, hoping for some breakfast. Cassandra and Varric weren't in sight. She walked over to Solas, who was outfitted in his gear, ready for the journey ahead, and starting to rekindle the fire, piling on gathered kindling. 

“What's for breakfast?” she inquired, neutral as could be. She didn't know where they stood and figured neutrality was the best approach. 

“I'm unsure. Cassandra… persuaded Varric to join her to hunt for some sort of wild game, but I suspect it was a ruse to further question him regarding Bianca,” he chuckled.  _ He's not going for neutrality. Huh.  _ Dropping her act inch by inch, Nina warmed up to him anew.  _ How does that work? Oh, right, he's charming and you're a hopeless romantic. _

She moved next to him. “May I?” she offered, gesturing towards the campfire. “I really need the practice,” she admitted. 

“Very well,” he assented. “As long as you refrain from causing another explosion.”  _ Ah, yes, and we're back to smug teasing. _

Ignoring his last remark, Nina focused on the small flames, willing them to grow and devour the fresh wood placed upon the dying embers. She felt a small trickle of mana at the edges of her awareness. Greedily, she latched onto it as strongly as she could, only for it to fall out of her grasp. The flames sputtered for a moment as the drizzle of magic was haphazardly released, but that was all. She sighed in annoyance. Solas turned to her, asking, “When you sense your mana in reality, does it feel different from your mana in the Fade?” 

“No. Well...it's like there's more of it. And in reality I try to pull it out but it just dissolves in my grasp.” 

“Ah, I see. In the Fade, do you cling to it so?”

“I...no, I don't. It just flows through me. What do you think I'm doing wrong?” she eyed him curiously.

“Try a gentler approach. Allow it to flow through you like you do in the Fade. I believe you are blocking this flow by attempting to  _ force _ the mana through you. This is something that is natural to you when you are in a state of complete relaxation, when you are in the Fade. For whatever reason, you are more comfortable there. I can relate.”

“Hmmmm,” she replied, considering his perspective.  _ I am more relaxed in the Fade. But...it can't be that simple. _ She focused on the flame, her intent pictured clearly in her mind, and she felt that same trickle again. Instead of strong-arming it, she gently coaxed it,  _ asking _ it to come forth, imagining she was in the Fade by some body of water, not a care in the world. She could feel it giving, but it was hard to balance intense focus and relaxation. Little by little, her mana trickled through more easily, until…She lifted her hand and allowed it to flow through her and into the small campfire. It burst with new life, enveloping the firewood, but not extending outside the confines of the campfire area.  _ I did it.  _ In a rush, she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. “I did it! Solas, look!” she exclaimed, looking back and forth between the fire and her laughing companion. “I see it, Nina. Well done.” 

Her revelry was cut short as a loud gurgle erupted from her stomach. She felt her ears turn red. “Uhhhh, Solas. I think- just maybe- that I might be really fucking hungry. How long ago did Varric and Cass leave?” 

“Not too long ago. If you would prefer, I could remain here while you look for them.”

“No...that's okay. I'd hate to interrupt their hunt. Thank you, though.”

They sat in awkward silence for a moment. Nina couldn't think of anything to say. She wanted to curl her arms around him, or eat...but neither was an option at this point. She simply had to wait. 

_ I  _ **_hate_ ** _ waiting. _

“You have demonstrated a desire to be completely open with those you trust, yet you keep my...secrets. Does that not bother you?” Solas peered at her, awaiting an answer. 

She thought about it, ignoring his intense gaze and the growing silence between them. “It bothers me a little. But mostly because I want you to be you- to have more people who you can confide in. I don't want to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets for the sole purpose of being honest. It would be an empty honesty; those aren't my secrets to tell. The only secrets I have to share are my own. Although...that does beg the question. Do you wish I hadn't come to this world knowing about you? Your secrets were given up against your will. Does that...does that bother you? I'm sorry, I never thought to ask.” She looked up at him now, concerned.

He took her hand in his. “I would be lying if I said I had not considered how much simpler things would be had you remained ignorant. But simpler is not always better. You have nothing to apologize for,  _ ma mi’durgen. _ My life is better for your presence. Knowledge and all.” 

_ Holy shit, are we having a moment? This is a  _ **_moment_ ** _ -moment _ . “Solas, I-”

“FRESH fennec, come get your fresh fennec here!” Varric shouted from the distance. 

**_Fucking-_ ** _ not again, Varric!  _ She mentally backpedaled to prevent the others from becoming suspicious. Sorrow and deep admissions thrust aside for the time being, Nina screamed in delight, “BREAKFAST!” and ran towards Varric and Cassandra, tackling them with a big hug. They walked back to the fire side by side, Varric and Cassandra holding up their kills victoriously, Nina laughing. 

She made quick work of skinning and cutting the animals while Cassandra got a pot of water going and Varric regaled the details of their hunt to Solas, who listened patiently, smirking every so often. The bones went in first, followed by some root vegetables and mushrooms they had found- Nina and Solas double checked that they were edible before allowing a scowling Cassandra to throw them into the pot. She gave up on cooking at this point. While the broth cooked at a rolling boil, Varric and Nina skewered and lightly charred the chunks of meat over the fire. Nina insisted that it would add more flavor. Finally, the stew was complete and everyone ate their portion with gusto. Nina was right about charring the meat-  _ big surprise there, I know my way around a kitchen- or a campfire. _

By the time they finished eating, the sun was above the horizon, but it was still a respectably early hour for them to be packing up and moving out. Solas and Cassandra had packed the tents while Varric and Nina cooked, so all that was left was loading up the cooking supplies and fennec furs, and they were on their way.

“So how does this business with two lives work? I can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like,” Varric asked, his tone mostly sympathetic with a touch of curiosity. 

“It was weird at first, but not for reasons you might think. I just sort of...commanded the memories to fall into place so that they wouldn’t overwhelm me, and they did. It felt completely natural to do it. There are moments when the duality of my perspective is pretty obvious, especially in my head, but for the most part I can keep it all straight easily. I think that it's a characteristic of being…uh...” she started to lose her train of thought, remembering the promise Solas had made her last night in the Fade.  _ He trusted me. He really opened up. And then after everything he comforted  _ **_me_ ** _. For all my talk of self-love, I hadn’t considered how  _ **_I_ ** _ was doing before he asked. _

“Ruby?” She shook her head, bringing her focus back to the present. Nina glanced at Solas for a split second before returning her attention to Varric. Nina wasn't certain, but... _ Solas looked lost in thought, too _ . “Sorry. I just don’t know what to call myself- I don’t think I’m really a human, or an elf, or anything I’ve even heard of. I’ll have to come up with a name at some point, though. It's too tedious to say ‘whatever I am’ over and over again. But to finish answering your question, I think I’m able to mentally handle having two lives because of...ah,” she stopped, chuckling at herself. “ _...whatever I am _ . It’s strange though; my consciousness and the structure of my thoughts are different. They would have to be in order to accommodate multiple lives, I guess. Yet at the same time, I’m still me. I just contain multitudes.”

Varric looked pensive. “That sounds pretty deep. Do you mind if I use that line? ‘I contain multitudes.’ That’s a great line.” Nina could see the wheels turning as Varric no doubt thought of characters and situations that would call for such a line. She laughed. “Go for it. Though I’m pretty sure someone from Earth said it first.”

“As long as it's not from  _ this _ universe it's not really plagiarism, right?” Varric smiled mischievously. 

Nina snickered. “I can hardly argue that point, master author.”

“Perhaps you could tell us some tales from your world,” Solas suggested.  _ The wolf wants to hear about the Hobbit. That would be fun, but let's try something else. _

“Good thinking, chuckles! How about a tragedy, ruby?” 

Cassandra chimed in, “Perhaps something happier? A comedy, a...romance?”

“How about a tragedy that's misinterpreted as romance?” Nina offered. “My friends, I'll have to introduce you to Shakespeare- a timeless author from Earth. Although you'll be missing out on the prose, the plots are still excellent and show the ranging beauty and terror of people.”

So Nina told them the tale of Romeo and Juliet- after all, it was a staple introduction to Shakespeare. And she could remember it the best in terms of actual lines from the play. It was good fun, though Cassandra was conflicted over it. “They were children! Though I think in some ways this made their love no less important. But had it lasted, they could have united the two houses without such bloodshed! There are so many different ways it could have ended for the better,” she bemoaned. Nina patted her shoulder. “It’s okay, Cass. You can write your own version of it? Or convince someone else to. Do you know any famous authors?” Nina teased. 

Varric replied, “I actually liked the ending. It made for damn good tragedy.” Nina and Solas smirked in unison, much to the other companions’ amusement. 

Nina proposed, “How about something lighthearted next? Does anyone have something happy to contribute? All I can think of now are tragedies. Oh, although there is one romance, but I want to save that one for a special occasion.” Varric was quick to tell the next story, a bawdy tale about surface dwarves in love, much less depressing than the Earther tragedy. Solas was next, telling the story of a battle he saw in the Fade. Cassandra shared the legend of a famous dragon slayer in Nevarra at Nina’s request and encouragement. They went on this way, sharing stories and legends back and forth until the sun set and it was time to set up camp for the night. 

So their days went for the duration of their long journey to the Hinterlands. Occasionally they would receive ravens with updates from Haven. The Wardens had arrived, much to Nina’s relief. The message from Leliana indicated that they were suspicious of the Inquisition- their intent, how they knew about Corypheus, and whether or not they have something to do with everything that was going wrong in the world. They would need to gain the Wardens’ trust, but it was about the best Nina could have hoped for given the circumstances. Solas was still suspicious of mind-control, but with Dorian, the rebel mages, and hopefully Alexius at their disposal, they would no doubt have a magical remedy for that soon. Nina and Solas met in the Fade, training with magic and sharing stories. Solas finally got to watch the Hobbit and it was all he could talk about for days. The Tolkien elves fascinated him, though in a detached sort of way- Nina suspected that had he regarded them too seriously, comparing them closely to his people, it would only frustrate or depress him. 

The night before they were set to arrive in the Hinterlands, Nina was once again restless. She laid awake during Varric’s watch, eyes closed and almost drifting off before some jolting thought popped into her head, like “What if we get there and Dennet has been killed?” or “What if someone gets injured while we’re in some remote location and Solas is out of mana and there are no healing herbs?” And on and on her thoughts went until Varric was nudging her for her shift. Just barely catching the loud sigh that begged to be released, she nodded and stepped outside. _I wish I could get some practice with Eowyn. That might help me work through this stress. Or I could be in the Fade, swimming laps to relax. But I can't_ ** _get_** _to the Fade._ She realized she was pacing and stifled a chortle. _I'm acting like Solas._ _He's probably noticed my absence tonight._ Guilt gnawed at her. She had hoped... _well, never mind what I had hoped. He should be sleeping, resting up for tomorrow._

She walked around the edge of the camp to look for herbs while keeping watch, trying to occupy her time productively, as always. Solas had been training her on how to harvest and treat herbs and she was becoming quite the herbalist, much to her pleasure. It was just like cooking, only instead of nourishing the body as the end result, you healed or enhanced it. Add a small dash of magic, though she still couldn't do that part on her own, and bam, you've got a salve for pains, a health potion, a sleeping draught-

She froze in realization.  _ Solas has the next shift. I can ask him how to make a sleeping draught! Provided we have or can find the ingredients. _ Nina excitedly headed back to the center of camp to take inventory of the herbs she'd gathered so far when she heard a twig snap somewhere behind her. Instinctively, she reached for Eowyn and spun around to see the source of the sound. She had just enough time to twist one side back before an arrow whizzed by, grazing her ribs. Crying out in pain and moving to clutch her wound, she faced her attackers. 

_ Venatori. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas wakes up to find Nina under attack. And is generally a grumpy, broody elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are picking UP. Thank you to all of my wonderful readers, and thanks to my beta, [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13)

She had not been in the Fade while Solas slumbered. 

They had grown incredibly close over the course of their journey. All four of them had, if he was being completely honest. Solas had considered waking to keep Nina company during her watch, but had decided against it. This was a rare opportunity to reflect in the Fade without Nina’s presence, and he had much to consider. His concern for her wellbeing could wait until his watch. Ever since that kiss, his suspicions regarding her attraction to him were put to rest, but per usual, the truth did little to lessen the torrent of his emotions. He had wanted to return her kiss that night, to unleash the passion he had denied himself for weeks now. For the most part, he was glad he had resisted such an urge. Their relationship was already worryingly and deliciously complex. No, he needed to sort his feelings for her. The shock from having her thrust into his life was difficult to process as it currently was, but a romantic entanglement…

_ You have not had such close friendships with the living in so long. And it has been even longer since you had a...well.  _ He couldn't even bring himself to think the words. Lover. Partner. Companion. Vhenan _.  _

It was too early to tell how serious his feelings were. It surely must be. She shared this sentiment, it seemed, or at least understood and accepted that he felt it. How long would she wait? Could he stand having another take his place in this captivating woman’s heart?  _ The choice is hers. You have made yours for the time being and her affection is not limited to you. Accept those things, for you have no other option. _

There was the other issue, of course. The one he had been trying to ignore, rationalizing that she couldn't possibly understand the full extent of the situation, couldn't grasp the complexity of what she had asked of him. The issue of their compromise.

He sighed. He found no solace in his ponderings. There was nothing else for it; he needed to talk to her, unburden his soul and hope that she would stay. He willed himself awake. Varric was sleeping beside him, breathing heavily. The potion for snoring he had given the rather loud dwarf was working, thankfully.  _ Nina is on watch. _ Grateful for his timing, he stepped outside with his staff just in time to hear Nina scream.

“VENATORI! EAT.  **SHIT!** ” He watched as she punctuated her scream by slamming the sharp end of her warhammer under a Venatori agent’s armor with a sickening crunch. As she spun to face the next warrior, he noticed a tear in her tunic.

She was bleeding. 

Horrified for a split second before fury consumed him, he launched himself into action, running forward with all the speed he could muster, swinging his staff as he went. He froze the archer who was knocking an arrow aimed towards her and, finally coming within range, cast a barrier around himself and Nina. There were 4 of them, excluding the one she had just slain. Two mages at the back, the archer, and the other warrior. This was not good. Cassandra would be up soon, but not-

He felt a trickle of magic coming from Nina. Solas cast a flurry of offensive spells to distract their attackers, wearing down the mages’ barrier spells. Nina screamed something unintelligible and one of the mage’s robes caught on fire. Solas continued his offensive spells, firing them off as quickly as possible, and one mage- the one Nina had successfully attacked- was down. The spell on the archer would wear off soon, and Nina was busy grappling with the warrior, having to go on the defensive. She had no armor and she was still bleeding, her face a mask of pain. Worry and exertion creased his brow as Solas poured more energy into the barrier spell. Then he heard a deafening roar come from behind him.

Cassandra charged forward, breaking the frozen archer to pieces with her shield before slamming into the warrior. With the remaining mage distracted by the Cassandra’s arrival, Solas was able to bring down the mage’s barrier spell just as a bolt pierced her in the dead center of her forehead. Varric hollered beside Solas, “ _Bullseye_!” With a final crack of Nina’s warhammer, the warrior was on his knees, howling in pain. She had broken his leg, it seemed. 

“Leave him alive!” Nina shouted, clutching her side and staggering backwards, leaning on her warhammer for support. As Cassandra disarmed the man, Nina added, “I believe we’ll have some-” she winced and inhaled sharply- “ _ questions. _ ” Cassandra nodded and Varric stepped over, raising his crossbow menacingly. “Cassandra, can you find some restraints for our guest?” Nina asked, never taking her steely gaze off of their would-be killer. 

“I believe that can be arranged,” Cassandra replied, her voice laced with venom.  _ They ambushed her. Had she not been aware, or had not been gifted with her unique skill set… _

Solas’ blood boiled. Assessing Nina’s wound, he moved beside her and said, “Come with me. You cannot afford to lose more blood.” Cassandra returned and tied the man’s arms behind his back.

She shook her head. “I want to be here for this. This is new.” Returning her attention to the man, she demanded, “You know what information I want. I suggest talking.” 

“Fuck you,” spat the man. 

Nina frowned. “That’s completely uncalled for. The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whatever you have planned for me, it won't be nearly as bad as what the Venatori will do if I don't-”

“Who said anything about doing ‘bad things’ to you? I propose we make a deal: we give you a health potion, and you answer our questions. Be nice about it, and I'll even throw in a salve for the pain. Sound fair?” 

The man finally looked up at her. After some deliberation he replied, “And after I give you this...information?” 

“We can offer you the protection of the Inquisition in exchange for your continued support,” Nina responded. 

Cassandra added, “Provided that the information you can reveal is actually worth something.”

Nina nodded at Cassandra then disappeared into her tent, clutching her side as she went. When she reappeared she had the promised remedies in her other hand.  _ What is she thinking? _ Their captive seemed to be wondering the same thing. “Just like that? How do I know that's not going to kill me?”

She uncorked the bottle with her teeth and took a generous swig. She shuddered then sighed in relief, pointing at the healing gash in her side and coaxing, “See? Still breathing. And now in a lot less pain.” Solas couldn’t believe her. This man ambushed her, injured her, threatened those she cared about, and now she tended to his wounds?  _ There are other ways to obtain the information we need that are more suitable for such an enemy.  _ Nina lifted the bottle up to the man’s lips and ordered, “Drink, kid.” To his surprise the man complied. 

_ Perhaps his pain was simply that great. _

“Feeling better?” Nina checked, handing the empty bottle to Varric. The man nodded. “What’s your name? Unless you’d like me to keep calling you kid,” Nina asked. 

_ This is surreal. _

“My name is Torrin. Can I give the salve a try?” the man, Torrin, asked, his face scrunched in discomfort. Nina nodded sympathetically. “Absolutely,” she responded. “Cass, can you remove his armor for me?” 

At this point each of her companions was staring at her. 

“We aren’t questioning him until we take care of him. Got it?” She stared them down resolutely. Solas sighed. “You know that look as well as the rest of us, Cassandra. She won’t change her mind.” Cassandra paused for a moment before giving in, removing the armor swiftly. “So what happened to getting answers?” Varric quipped. 

“We made a deal. Right, Torrin?” she responded, applying the salve evenly to the gash on Torrin’s leg. The potion was strong enough to mend the bone and the salve would not only ease his pain but assist in healing what the potion did not. Torrin would still need to see a proper healer later for the rest of the damage and to ensure the bone had set properly. Solas was more than capable of doing that himself. But he wouldn't. 

Torrin sighed in relief. “You truly can offer me protection?”

Nina looked over at Cassandra. “Cass? Think we can stand up to the big bad Venatori?”

“They are hardly harmless. But neither are we. We can protect you, Torrin,” Cassandra affirmed.

“I...really want to believe you. And you have held up your end of the bargain so far.” He considered them for a moment. “Frankly, fuck the Venatori,” Torrin grimaced. “I'll tell you what I know.”

Nina looked up at Solas. “I like him. Fuck the Venatori, indeed. Untie him, please. If he runs off, I’ll tackle him myself, but until then, consider him on probation.”

“We should remove all of his armor. It will make him easier to tackle. Though given your wound, I highly advise against such a course of action.”  _ You are actually going along with this. Although as you yourself pointed out, resisting Nina’s will as of now is a fruitless endeavor. _ Solas released Torrin from the makeshift restraints and Cassandra was quick to remove the armor, Nina apologizing every time the man winced in pain. “Is the salve working? The potion?”

“They’re working fine, miss. It’s more of a dull ache now. Thank you,” Torrin looked up at her, smiling at her reassuringly as he rubbed his wrists. “Time for me to share, I guess. The Venatori serve the Elder One. They are helping him become a god, near as I can understand it. He’s royally pissed that you’ve taken back the Wardens and are gathering the mages  _ and _ templars to your side. He put a lot of work into creating the chaos at the conclave and intended to take full advantage of it. Not only have you stolen the anchor from him, but you’re taking away the puppets that were to become his army. The only course he sees now is to kill you before you become a real threat,” Torrin finished.

“Thank you, Torrin. Do you know what the plans in Redcliffe are?”

“Magister Alexius was to dispose of you, but he his most recent reports have been suspicious. The Venatori are beginning to question his loyalty. That’s why we were sent to kill you. Only some of us did not come willingly,” he grimaced. He bobbed his head in the direction of the bodies. “The archer, Liam. He and I were assigned to some Venatori magistrates. Both from the Free Marches. Bad luck and bad choices left us at the mercy of a bastard magistrate. We were supposed to get our freedom from this mission. I don’t know about the other warrior.” Solas’ blood froze.  _ Slaves. _ Nina glanced as Solas, surprised, then returned her attention to Torrin with a grimace. “From this moment forward, you will never be a slave. Join the Inquisition. We would be happy to have a man as skilled as you. Not to mention our spymaster would be thrilled to have more information on the Venatori.” 

Torrin looked up at her, his jaw slack. “You...would have me join you? Untying me is one thing, offering me protection for information is another, but trusting me to join you? You’ve got guts. Or you’re an idiot.” Nina smiled at him. “Sometimes both. But we need every advantage we can get against the Elder One and the Venatori.”

“How can we trust this man?” Cassandra asked indignantly. 

“We don't. We hand him over to Leliana’s agents and she can keep an eye on him until his loyalty is established. Assuming he wants to join, that is,” Nina concluded, looking back at Torrin expectantly. “I'd be a fool not to accept,” Torrin responded, offering his hand. Nina took it smiling. “Welcome to the Inquisition, Torrin. Solas, I believe your watch is next? I’ll stay up with you. I have some questions about making a sleeping draught.”

“Sleeping draught? Nina.” He looked at her sternly, mind racing, fury unabating. “Your tent. Now.”

Her face darkened. In elvhen, she curtly replied, “ _ If you’re going to ask like that, why should I bother? I can wait until you’ve calmed down, Solas.” _ He fumed.  _ Calmed down? I will not  _ **_calm down._ **

“ _ Your wound needs to be tended to. You have neglected it in favor of our  _ **_former captive._ ** _ And you have made the decision to let an enemy agent into the Inquisition,” he vented. _ Cassandra and Varric shot worried glances at each other. Nina glared at him for a moment, took a deep breath, and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him deeper into the woods with her. She called over her shoulder to Cassandra and Varric, “Can you handle Torrin until the morning? Thanks!”

Once Varric and Cassandra were out of earshot, she spun to face Solas, her face a mask of incredulity as she demanded in Common, “ _ What is your problem _ ?” 

Solas refused to switch back to the other language, regardless of whether or not anyone could hear them. “ _ How can you be so naive? This man could kill us in our sleep if given half the chance. We have no guarantee that he is telling the truth.” _

Her face lit up in realization, then she appeared...hurt. “ _ You’re confused. I’m sad to hear you still don't trust me with this, after everything.  _ **_Of course_ ** _ I have good reason to believe him. You know how I can sense your emotions in the Fade? I’ve suspected for a while now that it might be connected to my magic. The stronger my magic has been in reality, the more I’ve been able to read people’s emotions. It’s not as strong as I can read yours, though. I think that maybe since I’ve seen you in the Fade and have a stronger sense of you, I can feel you more clearly. It’s just vagueness with others like Torrin. I could tell that he was being honest when he told us about everything because I was focusing, but nothing more.” _

He looked back at her, amazed. “ _ You feel me, here?”  _

She glanced away and shifted uncomfortably. “ _ Yes. I’m sorry. I should have said something sooner, I just wanted to be sure that it wasn’t my imagination. I feel much less clearly here than in the Fade. The strength is directly proportional to my magic abilities, and, well, you know how weak my magic is in reality,” _ she rambled, clearly nervous.

“ _ When you looked at me earlier, after Torrin told us he was a slave- you felt my emotions then.” _ It was not a question. She nodded regardless.  _ This could be useful. If she were able to harness this ability better, it would greatly serve our purposes and the Inquisition. _ Nina watched him, amazed. She slowly stated, “You’re not angry. Or...distrustful. You’re...I don’t know what emotion that is, actually. Too hard to read. What are you thinking?”

_ You  _ **_aren’t_ ** _ angry. You have no privacy with her now, but...does it matter? You must tell her the truth. The complete truth. You tried to take advantage of privacy earlier, and cut it short so that you could tell her everything. _ The memory of how he came to be awake flashed through his awareness. Speaking to her again in elvhen, he lamented, “ _ You could have died. Had I not woken from the Fade to speak with you...we may not have arrived in time.” _ Dread swallowed him whole as his heart sank.  _ You cannot lose her _ .  _ Not to them.  _

“ _ Solas, I’m okay. Everything is okay. Minor injury aside, I’m okay. It would have been fine,”  _ she soothed, moving to stand close to him, gripping his shoulders. “ _ My sweet wolf. You made it to me in time. Besides, I...I can’t leave this universe until I complete my mission.”  _

He looked up at her. “What do you mean,  _ ma mi’durgen? _ ” 

She cleared her throat. “The final condition. I can’t leave this world until I complete my mission. So if I die...I’ll come back.” 

He blinked. “You are immortal.” 

“After a fashion,” she replied, clearly uncomfortable. He clarified, “You are a near-immortal being from another universe who can feel other people’s emotions?” She smiled at him. “The one and only. As far as we know, anyway. And I can only sense emotions if I'm focusing  _ just _ the right way. Like with my magic.”

“I take it I should not tell the others about the final condition?” He felt dizzy.  _ She cannot die. She will not leave you, not unless...but no, that will be through no fault but your own. You will not lose her to death. _ She looked at him curiously. “I’d rather you kept it between us. I did’t want anyone to know, not even you, truthfully. There are setbacks with this condition, it's too powerful not to have setbacks, but I don’t- Solas, are you alright? You seem...relieved and shocked? And...something else.” He gazed into her eyes. He was not able to convey what he was feeling. And there was no need. She moved her hands down his arms to his hands, giving them a squeeze. “We should head back to camp. After you show me how to make the draught, let’s get some sleep. We can sort everything out in the Fade.” He nodded.  _ Yes. Something to do, to take your mind off of...everything you have to process. And so you can prepare for what comes next. _

They walked back. Cassandra offered to take watch until the morning. “I want to become better acquainted with our new member,” was her only explanation. Solas was uneasy, but Nina was amiable to the situation. 

“It’s a good idea. You’ll have the clearest notion out of all of us on how he’ll fit in back in Haven. Solas and I are going to stay up for a bit. He’s going to teach me how to make a sleeping draught. Couldn’t fall asleep before, doubt I’ll be able to now. And it’s something new to add to my herbalist skill set.” 

During Nina’s sleepy rambling, Solas walked over to the supplies and pulled out the necessary herbs, pestle, and bowl. He returned to where they were seated around the campfire. Varric had gone to bed. Solas showed her which herbs he had selected and how to properly prepare them, then the magic infusion once the mixture was complete. She attempted the spell, and failed. Much to her annoyance. 

“It just doesn’t make sense! I lit a man on  _ fire! _ Well, his robes anyway,” she grumbled. Solas smiled at her. “You are tired,  _ ma mi’durgen. _ Allow me.” He took the bowl from her and activated the mixture. “You make it look so easy,” she complained. 

“I have had years of practice. Patience, Nina.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she mumbled, still displeased. 

He handed her the bowl. “Drink. You need rest. After all, you ‘lit a man on  _ fire _ ,’” he mimicked her. 

“Well, when you put it like that,” she grinned before drinking the draught. “ _ I’ll see you in the Fade?”  _ she inquired in elvhen. 

“ _ Yes. Always.” As long as she will have you. _

She smiled, pleased by his answer and apparently unable to sense his trepidation. Unsurprising, given how tired she was. They bid Cassandra good night, who waved them off as she continued to pump Torrin for information. 

Solas found that he wanted nothing more than to tell her what she meant to him. But he could not continue their relationship under false pretenses. Or rather, he would not. He owed her that much. 

It was time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT: smut in the next chapter :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas reveals that he hasn't been entirely honest with Nina. Nina gets pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading :) and thanks to my beta, [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13)  
> Enjoy!

“I need to talk to Wisdom,” Nina called out as soon as she sensed Solas. She had been swimming laps, furiously thinking away. Now that she had had time to process everything that had happened, this surprise attack from the Venatori left her downright anxious. They were still several steps ahead of Corypheus, but he would not back down until she was dead. _Unless I kill him first._ She heard Solas glide through the water towards her. He was wearing the speedo again, but she was too frustrated to take much enjoyment from that fact. He was uneasy. They had plans regarding Wisdom; Nina was determined to save the spirit, but those plans were far off enough that they hadn't consulted with it yet.

“Tell me why, _ma mi’durgen_.”

“Because of everything,” she breathed. “There's so much we need to discuss before we head to the Crossroads in the Hinterlands tomorrow. This new information about Alexius has me feeling hopeful. Too hopeful. I can't afford to drop my guard again.” _Shit._ She stopped herself _._ She didn't want to worry Solas after calming him down earlier, didn’t want him to realize that the Venatori had injured her because she was mostly off guard. Nina felt his anger and concern in an instant.

_Too late._

“Again? You were caught unawares tonight? Nina, you cannot put your life in danger just because your death is not permanent!”

“It's not like that!” she shouted back at him, matching his volume. “I'm not being careless because of the resurrection condition! I just- I grew complacent over the course of the journey.” She tried lowering her voice to calm herself down so they could speak to each other with level heads. “There’s been so little action. I need to hone my instincts anew is all. We should get back to sparring in reality. Even without armor I should have been able to take down Torrin. Though now I'm glad I didn't,” Nina mused. She stopped treading water and floated on her back. Solas waded into the deep end of the pool and floated close to her. His nerves were as raw as hers.

“You are not invincible. No one is.”

Nina snorted. “I dunno, I'm pretty close to it. But...all joking aside, I get your point,” she admitted begrudgingly. His anger was finally beginning to die down. She sighed.

“I’m sorry for shouting.” Her apology was enough to make the final sparks of his frustration sputter out.

“As am I. Though I stand by _what_ I said, if not _how_ I said it.”

“I can accept that.”

“Do not...please do not behave so recklessly again.” He stared at her and she could feel the worry shooting through him as though it leaked from his pores.

“You have my word. I’ll be more careful.” Or try, anyway. She sensed his affection for her pulsing beneath his tension. _No, wait...what else is there?_

“What do you want to talk to me about? I can feel it just bubbling beneath the surface, this _anticipation,_ but I can't make it out.” She stopped floating and faced Solas. Her heart was thudding against her ribcage, her legs and arms moving in rhythm to the nervous beat. _I'm not nervous. He just wants to talk about something that he's been bottling up. No big deal._ Her self reassurance did her no good.

“Perhaps it is better if I show you.” The air around them changed and suddenly they were in one of Solas’ memories. Nina dried off and changed into leggings and a strappy crop top, momentarily dissatisfied that Solas was out of the speedo and back to his usual tunic and green leggings. They moved to sit on what vaguely resembled a wide plush window seat in a luminescent building. The fluid yet crystalline architecture of the city visible through the open window seemed to reach for the heavens, an endless expanse of possibilities. Nina could feel people throughout the city pouring magic and such boundless creativity into their innovations. She leaned as far out the window as she could manage, soaking in every sight and sensation.

“This is Arla-” she paused, sensing his emotions and deciphering them- “no, not just the city. This is the height of Arlathan,” she whispered.

“Yes. One of my fondest memories of the city, before the strongest of us abused our power and lead to the destruction of this time and place. This is what I wish to restore.” Solas was lost in the memory, finely tuned in to everything around him.

Nina took his hand. “ _This is what_ **_we_ ** _aspire to, Solas.”_

He broke out of his trance. “ _Yes. That is precisely why I brought you here. For so long I have believed this lost to war, forgotten through time. Your arrival marked the rebirth of my hope that we will one day reach this place. I will not simply save my people. We will save them that they may create new homes that grow like Arlathan once did.”_

_“It won't be another Arlathan,”_ Nina replied gently. “ _We cannot remake the world you loved. The world we forge together will be something new. Something better.”_

Solas stilled. _“Nina…”_ He took a long breath. _Shit this can't be good. He's freaking out, why is he freaking out?_

He resumed, “ _This notion that we will make something better than Arlathan...your perspective on this is why I hope for the future. However...I have...I must be more transparent with you.”_ She felt his trepidation, his hesitation, all knotted up and chewed on.

It was making her anxious.

He met her gaze, slowly. _“Our plan to slowly take down the Veil will take an immense amount of power. No place could survive the destructive force of such magic.”_ His face darkened now. “ _Nina, we must discuss what will happen when the world...your world...is destroyed. Our compromise will ultimately fail. Each place where we dismantle part of the barrier will face the same destruction as the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The only way to avoid this destruction is to bring it all down. Which means...this world as you know it will come to an abrupt end.”_

Nina’s mind went blank for a moment before panic reared its ugly head and took over.

_He isn’t lying. Holy shit he isn’t lying. He was lying before? Why didn’t I sense it? Oh my gods,_ **_fuck._ ** _All of our plans to save lives, minimize damage, transform the world rather than revive it from a smoldering pile of ash…_

_Motherfucker lied to me._

His eyes widened, she felt his concern. “ _Nina, I wanted to be honest-_ ”

“ ** _But you weren't._ ** _After everything, after I told you_ **_everything_ ** _, you still kept your secrets, you still_ **_lied to me_!** _”_ she erupted _. “I am such an idiot. I can't believe I thought that by telling you everything I knew, you would do me the same courtesy.”_

That...hurt him.

“ _I deserve that,”_ he whispered. _“I did not know- you knew most things, but you do not understand the nature of the Veil, of magic, and…”_ He froze, realizing that he was only making her angrier. “ _I'm sorry. I do not deserve you. And you need not hear my pitiable excuses.”_ His eyes searched hers, trying to understand how she felt, looking for a way to make things right.

She was too angry for words.

Finally he said something that gave his apology more weight. _“I should have told you. Despite everything I felt to the contrary, I should have told you.”_

She glared at him. It was hard to stay mad when she knew he was aware of how and where he had fucked up, _felt_ his remorse, but she wasn't letting him off easy. And she was not going to accept that they would lead to the annihilation of each place they tore down the Veil. Solas’ original plan was not an option.

“ _Tell me why the compromise won't work. Then we_ **_will_ ** _figure out- no, shut up and listen to me- we will figure out a way around this.”_

“ _You are not that naïve,”_ he finally managed to retort, but he didn't sound entirely dismissive.

“ _I am optimistic, there is a difference. We will figure out a way.”_

Okay, that made _him_ angry. _Why the fuck is_ **_he_ ** _angry?_

“ _Nina, blindly hoping for an outcome that is out of our reach is not an option! We must be prepared for an alternate course of action. There is too much at stake!”_

_“I know that we need plans, Solas! I know all too well the consequences should we fail, now that you have so kindly_ **_enlightened me_ ** _on the nature of the Veil and magic. I also know what happens if we rely on your_ **_insane_ ** _plan to destroy everything and damn the consequences!”_

_“It is not insane! What else would you have me do? We have discussed all possibilities and when our_ **_compromise_ ** _ends in the chaos I have predicted, we must revert to my original plan! There are no other options, Nina, and you cannot ignore the reality we are faced with,"_ he reprimanded.

_“Don’t you_ **_dare_ ** _treat me like some ignorant child when you haven’t even seen the full extent of the damage you have done or_ **_would have_ ** _done if I hadn’t arrived first!”_

_Wait, no, that’s not…_

It was too late. That was the last straw for him, and his normally emotive, free manner with her finally shifted as if he was curling into himself. “ _I know I have caused enough damage to the world to warrant a lifetime of punishment.”_

_No, no._ “ _And you’re working to make things better, I know. I didn’t mean-”_

_“But you did. You said what you thought and I appreciate your honesty. I wanted to thank you for...your perspective by bringing you here. To remind you_ **_why_ ** _I have done what I have done. But I cannot ignore the monstrosity of those actions.”_ Nina felt his hurt and guilt running through her like screeching metal, a cacophony drowning out her frustration with him.

“No, damn it, let me finish.” That came out too sharply, and she felt him become more detached over the thick layers of self-loathing and isolation he felt. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and counted to five with agonizing slowness. “ _I didn’t mean what I implied. I feel you, I know that you feel alone and hurt and worried, and I'm sorry._ ” She cracked at “sorry,” despite her counting and attempt to calm down. She was overwhelmed by his feelings as well as her frustration with herself for _making him_ feel this way. And she was still angry...no, hurt, that he had lied to her.

“ _Solas, I really don’t think less of you. Am I mad you lied? Hell yes, I am, but as long as you remain completely transparent-”_

_“I will. You have...more than earned it.”_

Nina nodded at him. “ _Thank you. For all your faults, I believe you’re a good person. I wouldn’t be here if I didn't believe..._ ” She stopped, at a loss for words. He twitched slightly, as if to leave, but remained where he sat.

_What is he-_

Fear. He was afraid. “ _Solas, talk to me_ ,” she pleaded, blinking back tears. _Oh my gods, he's so afraid. Why is he so afraid?_ She felt a panic attack rising. There was too much going on emotionally, she needed to detach, leave the situation and regroup, but he took a deep breath, ready to respond, and there was no chance to-

“ _It is as you say. I am ignorant of the damage I would cause without your knowledge. I was ignorant when I erected the Veil. I am so full of pride, even now, and for all my accomplishments and travesties I am still just a fool._ ”

Needing to say something, anything, she deflected, “ _You aren’t a fool. You are learning from your mistakes_.”

“ _Am I_ ?” he spat bitterly. “ _You’re right about my original plan, in some sense. Destroying your world is insane. And before you I saw no other option. I still see no other possible outcome. I..._ ” He sighed. “ _You can sense my emotions, so you must know some of what I am feeling but...there is little point in not telling you outright. I am afraid you will leave, and beyond the fact that I will have no other options again, I will have lost you. And I would surely deserve it. I betrayed your kindness, I am responsible for the deaths of all of the People who have lived since I erected the Veil, and I allowed Corypheus to open my foci. Why you would stay to help someone so...so…_ ” he was at a loss for words, clenching his fists. She felt his unadulterated self-loathing. That was enough to snap her out of her anxiety episode.

“ _I_ _wish it were you who could feel what I felt,_ ” she told him softly. He looked up at her, surprised and curious beneath his pain. “ _What would I feel?”_ he asked.

“ _Past the residual anger? Because I am still angry that you didn't feel you could be open and honest with me. But...you would also feel how immensely protective of you I am. You would feel how much your presence elevates my spirits, how your company and brilliant mind illuminate my days and nights. How your compassion warms my heart,”_ she finished quietly, giving him a piercing gaze, tuning in to his emotions as finely as she could. His self-loathing was cracking away. _“You care so deeply about the People. About mages. About slaves. All of those who are oppressed.”_ His fists unclenched. Something new peeked through the cracks of his anger with himself. She reached for his hands, squeezing them as if to bring his hatred for himself crumbling down and let that new light shine through. “ _You are so much more than I expected. I care for you too much to leave you. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me.”_

He looked up at her balefully. _“I do not deserve you,”_ he reiterated.

_“Solas, you deserve me more than anyone across two universes.”_ At this, finally, he smiled.

_“I doubt that. But it is kind of you to say it.”_

She smiled. He felt hopeful again. _But he still lied to me. We can't have that again._ Clearing her throat, she clarified, “ _So...you won’t be keeping secrets from me anymore?”_

_“I will not,”_ he affirmed resolutely.

_“Good. We need to reformulate our plans for the Veil. I need to know_ **_everything._ ** _But...I think we should save that conversation for tomorrow night. I’m getting...frayed at the edges,”_ she sighed, leaning back on the bench and rubbing her temples.

“ _There was...something else I wanted to discuss with you.”_

Nina glanced up at him suspiciously. “ _More secrets?”_

He chuckled. “ _No. Not quite. I...have been considering us.”_ He was nervous again.

“ _Us? As in...oh._ **_Oh_ ** _.”_ Is this what whiplash feels like? First, he lies to her, then he tells her the truth and hates himself for lying to her, then he relentingly agrees to her terms for changing the world, and now...he wants to talk about their _relationship?_

“ _Solas, I don’t know if I can handle this conversation right now.”_

He considered her, taking in her exhaustion. Slowly, a smirk creeped across his face. “ _Why would we need to have a conversation?”_

Solas leaned back in the seat, bridging the gap between them. He cradled her head in his hand. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned in close, so _damn_ close. It was unexpected, and at first she jerked at his touch. Realizing what was happening, _feeling_ his intent, she relaxed into his hands. She wouldn't kiss him this time. Not unless he kissed her first. _I need him to be completely su-_

Then his lips were on hers. Soft to the touch, gently pressed against her. She pulled away, feeling herself smile like an idiot. Her smile gave way to surprise as she felt his emotions.

_That is not something I’ve felt from him before._

He hungrily eyed her lips, then shook his head as he pulled her closer, insistent now, like an animal waiting to break free, finally released from restraints. She moved so that she straddled him on the bench, finding herself as greedy for his touch as he was for hers, clutching at his tunic, sliding it up and digging her nails into his back. He moaned, his breath against her ear, the sound of it was enough to make her back arch ever so slightly. She rocked her hips, grinding against his growing erection.

_Fuck, this is amazing, I've never felt anything like this._

Her senses were heightened, nearly overwhelmed from feeling what he felt. And he felt utterly delicious. She pulled back, starting to unzip her top when Solas grabbed her hand. He panted, “ _You are sure this is-_ ”

She planted her lips on his again, shutting him up and answering his question all in one go. She deftly unzipped her top, pulling away from him and letting it fall away to reveal her bare breasts. Solas gaped at her for a moment.

“ _What do you plan to do with me, Dread Wolf?_ ” she teased, pulling him forward, closer.

_“Dreadful things,”_ he chuckled into her neck. She tilted her head back, a full throated laugh escaping her lips that turned to a gasp as he bit right below her jaw. He moved down towards her collarbone, nipping with teeth and soothing with tongue as he cupped her breast with one hand and placed the other on the small of her back, holding her in place close to him. He teased her nipple with his tongue and teeth until she was breathing heavily, her body aching for more of his touch.

“ _Solas.”_

He looked up at her, ceasing his teasing.

“ _You are being entirely too gentle.”_

Shock plastered his face for a split second and then a grin that she could only describe as, much to her amusement, _wolfish_ flashed across his face. His hands moved to her ass, gripping her tightly as he stood in one fluid motion and carried her away from the window and towards another part of the building they were in. Nina took advantage of his distraction by kissing his neck, feverish desire making her movements rough. Solas moaned before setting her down- _I guess this is a bed?-_ pulling away long enough to remove his shirt. Nina was quick to remove her remaining clothing and sat back, watching him as he slowly removed his leggings. When they were finally off, Nina pulled him onto the bed beside her, straddling him once more. She wasted no time, pent up desire making her impatient, and she lowered herself onto him until he was completely filling her. Solas gasped, then moaned as she rocked her hips against him, relishing every soft sound that escaped his lips as she forced herself to keep a slow pace.

“ _Nina- I want-”_ he tried to sit up, but she adjusted the angle of her hips and picked up her pace, and Solas could only mutter curses in elvhen, throbbing inside her, bucking his hips to the rhythm she set. “ _What do you want, Solas?”_ She asked, panting slightly as she increased her pace once more. “ _Fenedhis,_ Nina, just don't stop-”

She pulled out just enough to cut him off again as he looked up at her, on the brink of begging for more. She smirked and thrust herself back onto him feeling herself tightening around him and moaning at the sensation of it. She picked up her pace as his own moans became louder, his movements more sporadic. He gripped her tightly until he was calling out her name and she _felt_ his climax, physically against her tightening walls, and through _him,_ feeling _his_ rush. It was enough that she came twice, feeling him twitch inside her each time. _Holy fuck I'm seeing stars. I felt his orgasm._

“Gods _damn_ it, that felt- I could _feel_ you!” she exclaimed. Laughter rumbled through Solas’ chest. “I felt you as well, vhenan.”

She moved off of him, giving him a look. “No, I _felt_ you. Like your emotions. Fuck, it's like I had three orgasms,” she sighed, collapsing against him.

“Oh,” he responded, finally realizing what she meant. “How did it feel? Not just the...climax, but the sex in general?”

“Heightened. Everything was double. So good,” she murmured lazily against him. He chuckled, then kissed the top of her head. _“Shall we remain this way until morning, my little diamond?”_

_“Yes,”_ she answered, nuzzling her head against his neck. His arms tightened around her and he sighed contentedly.

_Best not to think about what's happening tomorrow. Enjoy the post-orgasm glow._

So they did. And it was a good thing, too. The next day was gonna be hell.

  



	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and the gang go about their plans in the Hinterlands. Solas and Nina have a date in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My readers, you are all so lovely <3  
> S/O to my beta, [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13)  
> and to my dear partner, who gives me feedback on my smut

Day One, Hinterlands. Restore the Crossroads and help the refugees. Meet with Mother Giselle.

Day Two. Talk with Dennet, kill the wolves, get Cullen’s people to build watchtowers (thanks to Nina, they should already be at the appropriate locations and ready to build, awaiting the final order to start).

Day Three. Take out the templar camp and head towards Redcliffe.

Day Four. Take out the mage camp and arrive in Redcliffe. Meet with Fiona and Alexius.

After that, Nina and the gang were playing it by ear, as their next steps depended on what happened with Fiona and Alexius. Leliana and her people would be on standby outside of Redcliffe in case things turned south.

The lack of a definitive plan for Day Five, however, made Nina downright anxious.

So in an attempt to not obsess over it, she focused only on whatever task was at hand. They arrived at the Hinterlands base camp and handed off Torrin to Scout Harding. He would remain in the care of Leliana’s people until she arrived in the Hinterlands some days from now. Then Nina and her companions made their way to the Crossroads.

She didn’t have time to be anxious once they left the base camp; each skirmish was a horrific mess. They had all tried to calm down the mages and templars, but both groups were frenzied beyond reason. It broke Nina’s heart. _Can’t focus on that. Move or die, Nina._ Her instincts took over and she felled another templar. The bastards were tough, but sparring with Cullen was tougher.

“Cass! Duck!” Nina shouted.

Cassandra complied without a second thought, the swinging templar’s blade missing her head by several inches. Varric had found a good vantage point atop a hill to shoot creeping targets from a distance. Out of the corner of her eye Nina caught a glimpse of an archer falling to the ground, a bolt through his neck.

 _Don’t think,_ **_move!_**

Nina charged a second templar who had cornered Solas, his spells bouncing off the templar’s shield like they were nothing. Nina raked Eowyn across the man’s back, the sharp edge of the warhammer slicing under armor and leaving the howling man’s torso a bloody mess. He lowered his shield enough for Solas to deal a fatal blow, but Nina was already moving on to the mage that sought to take advantage of their distraction…

Finally, they had cleared everyone out of the Crossroads and the surrounding areas. Nina met with Mother Giselle, and they dispatched coded ravens through Leliana’s people with the names of sympathetic Chantry members. Hopefully the Inquisition’s diplomat and spymaster could work their magic to improve the organization’s standing using this information. Nina hoped she wouldn’t have to make a trip to Val Royeaux herself, especially after she takes in the rebel mages, but it seemed inevitable the way Giselle was talking.

The next order of business was for Nina and Varric, the most skilled hunters of the group, to collect ram meat to feed everyone, though they also caught some fennec. Nina refused to let anyone hunt nugs. Nina had instructed Solas on basic medical hygiene from Earth, so his job was working with the healers at the Crossroads to improve hospice conditions as well as actually assist with healing. Cassandra worked with the scouts and soldiers to deal with the various problems throughout the region. They already had knowledge of these problems thanks to Nina, and some matters were already resolved. By the time Varric and Nina returned from hunting, Cassandra and Solas were done with their tasks and the group set out to deal with the rifts throughout the region.

It had been a long and grueling day. They made their way down to Lake Luthias where scouts had already set up camp for them and collectively collapsed. In the morning, they set out to speak with Dennet. Everything went as Nina had expected; wolves to kill, watchtowers to set up. The rift by the river was a huge pain in the ass, and Nina’s healing gash across her ribs split open during the fight.

Once the rift was sealed, Nina stripped off her chest armor and lifted up her undertunic to inspect the injury. Varric came up, eying the bloody mess, and asked, “You gonna be okay there, ruby? You’ve been going pretty hard and that’s a hell of an open wound.”

Nina bit her lip. She didn’t want this to hold them back. _It’s only a flesh wound,_ an obnoxious voice in the back of her head sing-songed.

Cassandra took her turn to inspect the wound. “Are you in pain?” she inquired sympathetically.

Nina started to shake her head, then noticed the look Solas was giving her. _He’s not happy with me. Giving me the ha’hren stare._

“Ah, a little? It’s not the pain I’m worried about, it’s the risk of infection or having it slow us down. We have a schedule to stick to.”

Now Solas was inspecting her wound and Nina felt like her personal space bubble was completely invaded. “Solas, I’m perfectly- gah!”

She was cut off by the sensation of magic tingling across her skin. He looked up at her, stating, “If I don’t treat it completely, it will become infected. May I?”

“Ugh, _fine_ ,” she assented, feeling somewhat bratty. “Thank you,” she mumbled so she didn’t seem completely ungrateful. She wasn’t, it was just unnerving to have everyone...fuss over her so much. “But as soon as you’re done, we’re getting back to it. We still have to convince Dennet to join up, and then tomorrow we’re hitting the templar base camp.”

His lips quirked up in amusement. “ _Such a driven creature, my little diamond.”_

“ _I_ _t takes one to know one, my sweet wolf.”_

Varric cleared his throat. “You two are kinda gross sometimes, you know that?”

Cassandra elbowed him, glaring. “I think it’s sweet,” she countered.

Nina and Solas blushed in unison. Nina asked cautiously, “What exactly do you think is sweet? Or gross?”

Now Cassandra blushed. “I mean- you two seem to be so _close_ and Varric and I just assumed-”

Varric interrupted, “You two clearly have something going on. Even someone with nugshit for brains could see it.”

 _Guess we haven’t been entirely discrete._ Nina looked at Solas, who was focusing intensely on healing her. “You wanna chime in on this, Solas?”

“Not particularly,” he replied. “I do not believe there is anything for me to say on the matter.”

Nina rolled her eyes. “Alright, then. Yes, friends, we’re _together_ ,” she gushed, making Cassandra and Solas blush, and Varric laugh.

“Your wound is healed, Nina.” Solas stood mechanically, brushing the dirt off his leggings from where he had been kneeling. “Thank you,” she responded, then kissed his cheek on a whim. His blush deepened and she smirked. _This is gonna be fun._ Turning away from all three of them, she slapped her chest armor back on and started to walk off, hollering, “Okay troops, back to Dennet! Cassandra, you know what you’re going to say to him to get him to join, right?”

And with that they continued their mission. Convincing Dennet to join them was a piece of cake. Apparently word of Nina’s foresight about the issues in the region had gotten around to him, and he was impressed with how prepared the Inquisition was and how much work they had done to defuse conflicts.

Varric gave Solas and Nina shit now and again, and Cassandra asked for the details of how their romance began when she and Nina were alone in their tent that night. But mostly it was just taken in stride. Two elves, dating? Apparently that just seemed par for the course.

That night in the Fade, Solas started peppering her with questions on Earther dating customs almost immediately, partly out of curiosity, but she got him to admit that it was also because he wanted to understand what she expected of him. Nina reminded him that she had also grown up among the Dalish elves, and that her expectations weren’t based on any singular cultural perspective. He wanted to learn about Earth regardless. This prompted Nina to suggest that they have a typical Earther date in the Fade: dinner and a movie. Solas eagerly agreed, which was adorable. The date was set for the next night. Nina already had the food and movie in mind, and was excited. In the meantime, Nina offered to answer one question about Earth for every question she asked him about the Fade, the Veil, and bringing it down. She was still wrapping her head around the more complex aspects of magical theory, but they were making progress on reaching a common understanding.

The following morning it was back to bloodshed and ignored anxieties. The templars didn’t go down without a fight, that was for damn sure. Nina was exhausted, and thankful for both the horses and that her injury was fully healed. It took everything she had to help take down the last couple templars, but the four of them did it. They raided the food stores and ate lunch there, amidst the carnage, before riding towards the mage camp. They collapsed at a makeshift campsite nearby and ate some of the dried food rations they had pilfered from the templar camp for dinner. Tension was running pretty high. Nina wasn't the only one nervous about the meeting with Fiona and Alexius. Nina and Solas made sleeping draughts for everyone, just in case. Varric and Nina downed theirs and went straight to bed. Cassandra had first watch but pocketed her vial for later. Solas was the only one who had outright declined a vial, Nina remembered, grinning slightly at the silly elf before drifting to sleep.

***

Nina decided they should have homemade pasta and homemade pesto for their Fade dinner date. When she arrived in the Fade she was already in her apartment, wearing jeans and a soft evergreen v-neck. She got to work assembling all the ingredients and began mixing the pasta dough, old school Italian style, when she heard a knock at the door. She called out, “It's open!” Her hands were dirty and she wanted to finish kneading the dough before washing them. After a pause, the door opened and Solas stepped into her kitchen. He glanced down at the mess she had made in forming the dough, flour and clumpy dough-bits all over the counter, and asked, “Do you require assistance?”

“Hello to you, too,” she laughed. “I'm fine, the dough is always a bit messy to make. I've got to keep kneading it, but you can cut the basil leaves off the plant over there,” she suggested, bobbing her head in the general direction of the basil plant sitting on the counter beneath the only window in her L shaped kitchen.

“Basil. What do you intend to make with it?” Solas inquired, doing as he was told and clipping the biggest, greenest leaves off of the plant. “And how much should I cut off?”

Nina willed a measuring cup to appear next to him. “Fill that up to the top, lightly packed. We are making pesto, a sauce, to go with the pasta I've started here.”

Solas glanced at the cup then nodded, continuing to clip leaves then adding them to the cup. Nina busied herself with wrapping the finished dough in plastic wrap, putting a pot of water on to boil, and getting out the food processor for the pesto. As she worked, she explained to Solas, “I know I could have willed dinner to be ready, but I thought it might be fun to cook together. That way you can learn more about food preparation on Earth. We’re going slightly off the beaten track since I'm making everything from scratch and most people opt for store-bought versions of what we’re making. The quality isn't as good as the fresh stuff though.”

Solas nodded, absorbing the information the same way he always did; with wonder, but in a serious manner, as if he was carefully committing each piece of information to memory.

He set the basil beside the stove where Nina was roasting pine nuts. _Uh oh. I know that feeling. He wants to have a_ **_conversation._ **

Bracing herself, she asked, “What do you want to talk about?”

“I don't mean to ruin our...date. But I feel it would be unwise if we did not discuss our plans for meeting with Alexius. That he has been behaving in a manner the Venatori find suspicious could either be in our favor or against it. Based on your prior knowledge of what was meant to happen, what do you think will transpire tomorrow?” he finished, more determined than concerned, bless him.

Nina added the basil and pine nuts to the food processor. She stared at the block of parmesan and willed a chunk of it to appear grated on a cutting board. _Lazy, but whatever._ She added that, then fresh garlic. She felt a twinge of impatience from Solas.

Stopping, she bit her lip. “I don't know. I've thought about it and...I want his behavior to be due to the letter I sent, but I don't want to make plans relying on my hopes. It is possible that he is considering siding with us and allowing the Wardens to help Felix. But I think there's more to it than that. And if the Venatori are losing faith in him, maybe they'll take some action against him. I don't know. I just don't know.”

She took a deep steadying breath, attempting to unknot her stomach. Solas curled his arms around her. “We will help him if that is the case. Are Leliana’s people ready to infiltrate Redcliffe castle?”

“Yeah. They arrived today. The fact that Alexius wants us to meet there doesn’t seem like a good sign to me. But at least we were prepared for it. Can you grab that shiny metal thing on the bottom shelf there?” The pasta dough needed to be rolled if they were going to be able to eat before Solas had his shift. He was third. Nina was last.

Solas let go of her. He kissed her forehead before moving to grab the pasta maker. “Is this...a machine of some sort?”

“Yep. It rolls and cuts pasta. Which is what we’re doing next,” she answered, drizzling some olive oil into the food processor. “Hold on, there's going to be some noise.” She turned it on and Solas twitched ever so slightly, despite Nina’s warning. She could feel his alarm as it rose and fell, replaced by curiosity as he stepped closer, watching the machine at work and setting the pasta maker down next to it. Nina turned it off, scooped up some pesto with her finger, and gave it a taste. “Mmph. Needs salt.” She opted for Fade fixing it rather than actually adding salt. _I'm getting so lazy. We haven't even rolled out the pasta yet._

She scooped some more pesto on her finger and held it out to Solas. “Tell me what you think.”

He looked at her smirking, and she felt him get that mischievous feeling that always spelled trouble for her. Before she could retract her finger, he clasped her hand and ran his tongue across the pad of her fingertip before sucking on it, his eyes never leaving hers. She felt herself flush and leaned towards him. He removed her finger from his mouth and pulled her close to him, capturing her lips with his own. They moved against each other in unison, backing into the adjacent counter until Nina was pressed against it.

She moved her leg up to his hip and he clutched her ass with both hands, moving down to the very top of her thighs and hoisting her onto the only cleared part of the counter with ease. Her legs wrapped around him and their kiss deepened, tongues pressing against each other playfully at first, then more wildly as she grew wetter and he...well, grew. Solas dug his fingers into her hips and pushed them so that his erection ground against her as she moaned into his mouth. Pulling away, he panted, “Is it acceptable to skip dinner and just _fuck?”_

Hearing him speak so crassly was enough to turn her desire into _need_ and she throatily commanded, “Clothes off, _now.”_

He hurriedly stepped back to comply and suddenly was standing in her kitchen completely bare. “Your turn,” he murmured before biting the most sensitive spot on her neck, causing her to moan loudly. _Fuck, how did he figure that out so quickly?_

She took off her top and bra with relative ease, then paused as she looked down at her pants, trying to decide how- _oh, fuck it._ She willed the pants off and pulled Solas closer to her with her legs, his throbbing dick grinding against her clit. Solas moved away from her just enough to move his tip against her entrance, rubbing teasingly. She felt his need to be in charge, have control, _dominate_ , and felt herself pulse against him. He wouldn't do anything until she asked for it.

“ _What do you want, my little diamond?”_ he asked, his voice rich, dripping with desire.

“ _Solas- ah, fuck!”_ He had moved the head so that it was rubbing against her clit now. “ _Fuck me, damn it,”_ she growled at him, digging her nails into his back. He enjoyed that, but not enough to relinquish his control over the situation. This felt so much less tame than last time. _He_ felt less tame.

Regaining some composure, he demanded, “ _Is that any way to ask for something, little diamond? Where are your manners?”_ He was still seeking dominance, unrelenting in his teasing of her, _feeling_ her throb with desire against him and granting her nothing until she gave him exactly what he wanted.

She bit her lip. _Fuck it. I can do submissive._ “ _Please, fuck me. Hard.”_

Nina felt his wolfish, victorious elation before he replied, “ _Not yet, little diamond. First…”_ And with that he picked her up and carried her like last time, placing her on the couch before roughly pulling her hips towards him, nuzzling and kissing the inside of her thighs. _Is he...what does he have planned for me?_

Nina watched, curiosity and anticipation leaving her flushed and wet. Solas reached a hand up to cup her breast, then pinched her nipple. Nina inhaled sharply at the sensation and he looked up at her to make sure it was okay. She nodded perhaps too eagerly and he smirked, basking in her need for him.

Still watching her expression, he massaged her clit with his fingers. Nina bit back a moan. His expression changed and he commanded, “ _You will not stifle your pleasure for me, Nina. Let me hear how much you enjoy this.”_

Nina nodded. “ _Yes, Solas.”_

With that he quickened his pace, fingers hitting just the right spot and making Nina buck and pulse under his touch. Finally he slipped his fingers inside her and she moaned loudly when he found her sensitive most spot, fingers curling and coaxing as if beckoning her to cum for him.

“ _Solas, please,”_ Nina managed to utter. His eyes had not left hers. He felt how close she was. She knew he did. But she also sensed that he hadn’t decided whether she had earned it yet. The thought that he had complete control over whether she came or not right now…

She tightened around his fingers. His eyes widened slightly and she felt his lust. _He can’t hold back much longer, either._

Slowly he moved his head back down between her thighs, kissing his way towards the spot his fingers had been a moment ago. Finally his tongue found her clit and she half moaned, half sighed in relief. His tongue flicked in tandem with his curling fingers. She felt herself constrict against his fingers with each lick, felt how easily he inserted another finger as she grew more and more wet. He lapped her clit more fervently now, wanting to hear her cum. She felt his hunger as her own rush began to reach its peak. She dug her nails into the back of her head and felt her body grinding, almost of its own will, against his tongue and finally her orgasm thundered through her in waves. She thought she heard Solas moan into her wet pussy but was unable to focus as wave after wave crashed through her. She couldn’t even keep count. When the orgasms died down to a pleasant buzz, she was hit with the haze of Solas’ lust.

She gazed down at the feral look in his eyes and knew exactly what to say.

“ _Don’t stop. Fuck me, Dread Wolf_.”

He stood and growled, “ _On your knees,”_ pointing to the plush rug next to her couch. She complied and as soon as she got into position Solas thrust into her, deeply and without warning. She cried out in pleasure, constricting around him. He pulled out slowly, and she turned her head back, meeting his gaze as he watched her expectantly.

She licked her lips. “ _Please don’t sto- oh, shit,”_ she finished with a gasp as he thrust into her once more, this time beginning a steady rhythm. His pace quickened and he continued to hit deep inside her. Nina found herself begging for more, the words streaming past her lips a litany of curses and pleas. She felt him relish in this, he hadn’t felt this _powerful_ in so long. She was completely and utterly his, and he knew it. She felt herself tighten around him with increasing frequency and knew she was close to cumming again. Solas’ pace became erratic; he was close, too.

_Fuck-_

She peaked again without warning, crying out, and she felt him shudder as his own release crested through him. Nina felt his orgasm, felt him shudder, heard his moans and gasps, and came again. Solas let out a final moan, twitching inside her before pulling out. They both collapsed on the rug, panting. Solas looked over at Nina and smiled, curling closer to her and pulling her into his arms. “ _How did it feel this time, my little diamond?”_

Nina shifted so that they were completely tangled up together and willed a blanket to appear over them. If they were going to cuddle, they were going to be as snug as possible.

“ _You felt so...aggressive. Wild. Hungry like a wolf,”_ she responded, then promptly burst into a fit of giggles. Somewhere in her apartment “Hungry Like the Wolf” was playing, which just made her laugh even harder.

Solas was confused, but listened to the song. Looking down at her and pulling her gaze up to him, he asked, “So you get fits of laughter when you are sleep deprived and when you have cum an _uncountable_ number of times? Interesting. And, quite frankly, adorable.”

Her laughter died down and she nuzzled his neck, utterly pleased with...everything. “Ar lath ma, Solas.”

He stilled before melting into her. “Ar lath ma, Nina.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intent for this to end in smut, Nina and Solas just kind of...got carried away. Which is good, because serious shit is on the horizon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and the gang clear out the mage hideout and are met with a surprise before they meet with Alexius and Fiona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the comments <3 
> 
> S/O to my beta, [antebellum13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antebellum13/pseuds/antebellum13)  
> !

Nina decided to go for a drive. She always thought best while moving, and she missed driving. She drove around her old university, then through the surrounding residential neighborhoods, contemplating different outcomes with Alexius and the magical theory she had learned from Solas.

From what she understood, the elvhen artifacts around Thedas had served as generators for overlapping force fields that made up the Veil. You could deactivate a generator, but the power from doing so would cause an explosion. Taking them down all at once, however, resulted in a sort of power vacuum that had little effect on the real world, other than the Veil popping out of existence. The avenue she had decided to pursue was treating each artifact’s force field like its own complete Veil, resulting in a power vacuum rather than an explosion once taken down. In theory, it was plausible, but they needed to perform a small scale test somehow before implementing the theory around Thedas.

Nina’s current task was to determine a viable experimental setting. She wasn’t getting anywhere on her own, much to her frustration. She began to seek out Knowledge for help, and then she woke up.

Solas was standing over her, a faint smile dancing across his lips. Her conundrums pushed aside, she returned it and sat up. Solas walked out of the tent and Nina pulled on her leggings and boots before following him outside.

Once she was beside him, Solas kissed her without abandon, then took her hands in his. “ _I could stay up with you, if you like. I seem to require less sleep than the average person of this age_.”

 _I feel totally love drunk right now. And so does he._ She stifled a giggle. She would not behave like a schoolgirl in love for the first time, damn it.

“ _Only if you want to. I was going to practice some spells in preparation for...well, everything we have to do today._ ” Her mood soured as she thought of the impending meeting that would decide a great deal about their futures. Solas noticed her change in demeanor and caressed her cheek.

“ _Whatever happens, we will persevere. The world cannot stop us, my little diamond.”_

“ _I wish I shared your confidence. Anxiety is just part of my nature, I’m afraid. Doing something will help. Can you observe me while I practice magic? I wanted to try barrier spells; they’re the most quiet.”_

He chuckled. “ _As you wish.”_

_I have got to tell him the Princess Bride story. He says “as you wish” a lot and he needs to understand how much it slays me._

Taking a deep, slow breath, she closed her eyes and focused. She had tried to be more aware of _how_ she used her magic in the Fade when she sparred with Solas or practiced some new spell. Now she remembered how her mana felt in the Fade, flowing through her like intangible veins that pooled in the pit of her stomach. She focused only on feeling those veins, mana coursing through her. She could feel it. It wasn’t strong, but it wasn’t exactly faint, either. She pictured the barrier spell hovering over her skin, protecting and caressing every inch of her. Asking the mana to come forth and make her vision reality, she lifted up her hand and let it move smoothly through her. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and knew that the barrier had formed. Opening her eyes, she smiled at herself.

“ _T_ _hat is a perfect barrier, Nina,”_ Solas murmured, looking somewhat awestruck.

“ _Let’s hope I can pull it off during battle. I’m going to keep practicing and see if I can improve my speed,”_ Nina replied. She was bound and determined to master this before the mage fight.

Solas kept Nina company all through her watch as she practiced accessing her mana and forming the barrier spell over and over again. By the time Cassandra stepped out of her tent, Nina was confident she could use the spell during battle. Maybe not on the entire group, but at the very least on herself.

Nina quickly put on her armor and helped Cassandra take down the tents as Varric and Solas hunted and cooked breakfast, respectively. They ate quickly and silently, each of them preparing for the battles to come. Before the sun finished rising over the horizon, the group had made their way to the mage camp.

They had the element of surprise on their side, but the mages rallied with an efficiency that was telling; they had clearly experienced quite a few ambushes recently. Nina was able to use the barrier spell on herself, allowing Solas to focus his energy on protecting Cassandra, Varric, and himself. There was no room for hesitancy or mercy. The mages fought tooth and nail to keep their camp and their freedom, but one by one they fell until the battle was over. As with the templar camp, Nina and her companions raided the food supply and ate before heading out to Redcliffe.

On the way, they encountered a few bandits and rifts. Nina discovered that she was able to use force and fire spells with some proficiency, which sped things up a bit. Solas was clearly proud of her, which made Nina all the more proud of herself.

They met up with Leliana’s people outside of Redcliffe before heading into the city, and were met with quite a surprise in the spymaster’s tent.

“Dorian!” Nina shouted gleefully, and quickly made her way through the sizeable tent to where the dashing mage and Leliana were...arguing?

“Finally, someone who is happy to see me! Although, how _do_ you know me?”

“Oh, you know, as Herald you hear things.” Nina giggled. She loved him already.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?” Varric asked.

“He claims that Alexius wishes to negotiate the terms of his acceptance into the Inquisition forces,” Leliana responded disbelievingly. _Wait, what?_

Cassandra turned to Nina. “Do you know if he is telling the truth? We have confirmed his identity, but this deviates from...our current understanding of the situation,” she finished, unwilling to betray the source of their intelligence. Nina could hardly blame her, but it was _Dorian._

“You were the one who wrote the letter to Alexius regarding the Grey Wardens’ offer of help, yes?” Dorian asked Nina. She nodded.

“Excellent. Felix- who you somehow already know, though he has no idea who you are beyond the stories- has managed to convince his father that this is a much better alternative than helping the Venatori and the Elder One end the world. I am lead to believe that you also know about the Venatori and the Elder One?”

Nina nodded again, growing impatient. She summed up, “We know about the Venatori, Corypheus, also known as the Elder One, the Conclave, time magic- most things, really. I’m from another universe where we basically know what is going to happen in this one. I came to this universe, lived a life up until the Conclave with no memories of who I used to be, then regained those memories once the Conclave happened. Those memories include the information about what was going on in this world, and what was yet to be. I can prove this to you another time, but right now the more pressing issue is Alexius. Because we changed the future I saw, we don’t know what Alexius plans to do from this point forward. That’s where you come in.”

Dorian was slack-jawed. “From another...you’re completely mad.” Turning to Leliana, he continued, “She _is_ completely mad, yes?” Not waiting for a response, he turned to Cassandra, “But you all _do_ seem to know a great deal more than you should, even after capturing that slave.” Looking back to Nina he exclaimed, “ _K_ _affas_ , we are certainly going to have a conversation later about this other universe business!”

Leliana interjected, “Indeed we shall. Who is privy to this information?”

“You, Chuckles, the Seeker, and now this guy,” Varric answered, giving Nina a disapproving look which Cassandra matched.

“Shit- fuck- I’m sorry Leliana, we were going to tell you, Josephine, and Cullen once we got back, but I got so impatient I just...blurted it all out. My mistake. It won’t happen again. But...it’s all true.”

Leliana waved her off. “If Cassandra believes you-”

“I do,” Cassandra interrupted.

“-then I will take this at face value so that we can move on to the more pressing matter at hand. It is as good an explanation as any, for the time being. Dorian, you said earlier that you had information vital to the Herald of Andraste; what else do you have to tell us?”

Dorian straightened, and addressing the group, explained, “Alexius would be willing to join you if he believed you could protect Felix and himself from the Elder One- Corypheus you called him? He wants to negotiate the terms of his alliance with the Inquisition. As far as I know, Alexius is genuine in his desire to negotiate.”

Solas turned to Nina. “Is he telling the truth?”

She bit her lip. “Yes. But whether he has been fed false information is another story.”

Dorian looked offended. “I admit that is a possibility, however unlikely.”

Nina turned to their spymaster. “Can your people still be ready to go in as planned? Something about this feels off. I don’t know if it’s Alexius or the Venatori, but someone isn’t going to let this meeting go off without a hitch.”

Leliana nodded. “I agree. Dorian, you will come with me. I have a feeling you know how to make an entrance. Cassandra, are you still willing to go with Nina to this meeting?”

Cassandra replied, “I am. And Varric and Solas will be joining us, as per the plan.”

Nina took a deep breath. “Alright. Everyone knows what we need to do, except Dorian- don’t worry hun, Leliana can fill you in- so let’s not keep Alexius waiting.”

The group exited the tent and everyone went their separate ways. Nina and the gang killed time in Redcliffe to give Leliana and Dorian enough of a window to infiltrate the castle- Nina recruited Tanner, gave some herbs to the herbalist and convinced her to go to the Crossroads, little things like that. Then they finally went to the castle and were ushered into the main hall.

Alexius and Fiona were sitting at a long table, Alexius at the head, and Fiona to his left. Felix stood between them. Venatori agents closed the doors behind them, but were not allowed in the room. _No wonder everyone is so suspicious of Alexius._

Nina strode in confidently, her companions hot on her heels.

Alexius and Fiona stood.

“Herald of Andraste! I must say, I was surprised to receive your letter, and to hear of the letters the Inquisition has sent Grand Enchanter Fiona,” Alexius declared, outwardly calm, but Nina could sense the storm beneath his chest.

“It is just Fiona now, Magister. Though I agree, your offer was most...unexpected, Herald,” Fiona added. She felt more genuinely confident. Determined.

Nina sat down across from Fiona. Her companions joined her at the table and introduced themselves as Fiona and Alexius sat down.

“Alexius, Fiona: it is an honor. Please, call me Nina. I hope you find the terms of the alliance with the rebel mages agreeable, Fiona. And I hope that we can come to agreeable terms for an alliance as well, Alexius. You know as well as I that Corypheus is a threat that must be stopped. I have seen his method for preventing Felix from dying, and it is a fate worse than death, I can assure you,” Nina stated, wanting to waste no time. Alexius’ eyes narrowed.

“How have you seen this?” he asked.

“You possess time magic, Alexius. Use your imagination,” Nina replied curtly.

Fiona looked confused. “Time magic? I believe you two have a great deal to discuss that does not concern me. Nina, shall we conclude our business so that I can leave you to discuss-”

“I’m sorry, Fiona, but this concerns you as well. Corypheus is the master Alexius is seeking freedom and protection from. Corypheus is also the monster responsible for the explosion at the Conclave, but that’s only the beginning of his plans. He seeks godhood and will not stop until the entire world kneels before him. He sought the mages and templars as pawns to create a demonic army and has tried to control the Wardens by creating a false calling. We have disrupted each of these plans at every turn. The Wardens have already allied with us. We need your people to stand united with the Inquisition as well. Will you join us to defeat Corypheus and create a world that is safe for mages?”

“I received the letter from Solas explaining your goals for improving the quality of life for mages across Thedas, and yet despite these goals you have sought out an alliance with the templars,” Fiona countered.

Nina had expected that. “We need every advantage we can obtain over Corypheus. If we do not ally with the templars, they will fall to his influence. Beyond that, we have to come to an understanding across groups if we are to change the world. Through the Inquisition, we seek to show mages and templars that they do not need to fear or control one another. We can live together peacefully. And the leadership of the Inquisition will be the role model for such coexistence.”

Fiona sighed. “I do not know if we can achieve the peace you seek so easily, but if it means choosing between freedom with the Inquisition and indentured servitude at the hands of Tevinter...I know what is best for my people. We will join you, Nina. And we will help you fight Corypheus.”

Alexius looked angrily at the two of them. “You truly believe you can defeat Corypheus. How? He _has_ essentially become a god. I have seen the full extent of his power, and unless I am convinced that you can match it, I will not allow-”

“We know his weaknesses. His power is connected to his red lyrium-tainted dragon. It’s how he can resurrect. We defeat the dragon, he loses his immortality. That’s where the mages and Wardens come in, and hopefully the templars as well. With those combined forces, we believe the dragon can be slain. There is another individual, a powerful mage, who we can seek out for additional help to guarantee our victory. Then my team and I will kill Corypheus once and for all.”

Alexius sat back in silence. Finally, he spoke.

“You know a great deal about this. How did the Inquisition become such a threat so quickly, I wonder,” he mused.

Nina shrugged. “Providence?” she offered. To her credit, Alexius laughed.

Felix, who had been utterly silent, finally spoke up. “Father, this is our best option. I urge you to accept an alliance with the Inquisition. They offer us the best help and we cannot allow Corypheus to rule the world. I will not allow it.”

Alexius looked up at his son in surprise. “Felix, you know there is no guarantee of survival. Unless the Inquisition has some foresight into that?” he looked at Nina hopefully.

She shook her head. “But we will do everything in our power to help Felix. And you.”

Alexius sat in silence for a moment. “Then I suppose there is little to decide. If you save my son- _if_ \- then I will join you.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, the castle began to shake and a horrible screeching roar filled the air. The doors to the main hall burst open and Leliana, Dorian, and the Inquisition forces ran inside.

Leliana bellowed, “ _We are under attack!”_

Everyone at the table lept to their feet, grabbing weapons and running towards the Inquisition forces as Varric and Cassandra shouted, “ _By who?!”_

The wall behind the table came crashing down as a blast went off on the other side. Everyone scattered away from the debris.

A dark figure floated into the room, growling in a gravelly voice, “Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more.”

Nina paled as she looked up at the grisly visage of their foe.

_Oh, fuck me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big things ahead, dearies.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and the gang deal with the attack from Corypheus. Shit gets real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments, dearies. And thanks to my lovely partner for feedback.  
> Enjoy <3

Solas felt the blood drain from his face. _Corypheus._

They had anticipated retaliation, Nina had sensed something would go awry, but _this_.

 _We are not prepared for_ **_this_ ** _!_

“Cassandra, Inquisition warriors, with me! Everyone else, behind us!” Nina shouted as she flung a barrier around herself. The mages among their forces followed suit, casting their own barrier spells, and everyone snapped into formation behind Nina.

“Fools. Mortals cannot challenge a god and live,” Corypheus declared before sending a wave of magic crackling towards them, but Nina had anticipated that and she jumped forward, letting her barrier take the brunt of the attack, Cassandra not far behind her. Nina landed on her knees, hunched over, but sprung forward as quickly as she fell, Cassandra now ahead of her and slashing at Corypheus. The other soldiers surrounded him, falling backwards and charging forward again as Corypheus slashed with claws and blasted with magic.

The frontal assault kept Corypheus focused on the warriors while the ranged fighters attacked from a distance. Solas focused on keeping Nina safe, placing a barrier spell around her to replace the one she brazenly let be destroyed as she danced around the corrupted magister. Solas felt her mana surging through her, as strong as it has ever been, but she just let it coil inside her, containing it for some unknown release.

_What is she doing?_

Solas joined the mages in bringing down Corypheus’ defenses. The ranged fighters proved more than useful as Corypheus teleported around the room, forcing the warriors to chase him. Nonetheless, Nina and the others continued their coordinated assault on Corypheus. All the while Nina was coiling and coiling that mana, allowing the power to nearly seep from her pores.

_Corypheus must sense what she is doing, but he's not responding to it...such arrogance._

Enraged by everything- his failures with Corypheus, his failures with the Evanuris, and now his failures in anticipating this attack- Solas let himself unleash all of his fury on Corypheus, just as Dorian and Felix finished unleashing beastly spells of their own. Fiona and Alexius were focusing on Venatori agents- _when had they entered?_ Their forces were now split between Corypheus and the Venatori. However, the unrelenting attack on Corypheus was beginning to gain purchase.

Corypheus was losing focus. Rapidly. He would soon call his dragon.

Nina seemed to sense it, too, and she leapt backwards, out of Corypheus’ reach, landing and visibly taking a deep breath. On her exhale, she unleashed the mana she had coiled inside her. It was a force spell, carefully crafted, beautiful in its simplicity, but utterly powerful. A testimony to her magical studies in the Fade, and her practice in reality. With a shout and a gesture, the spell was complete. The result...

The foci was flung from Corypheus’ grasp. Solas watched wide-eyed at the effects of the spell unraveling. Time seemed to move slowly. The foci was flung away from Corypheus, out of the center of the fighting, and towards Solas. Reaching out, Solas caught it deftly with one hand. He stared at it in wonder for a moment, relieved and swelling with emotions at Nina’s actions.

_She returned it to you. As if to surprise you with a gift._

Forceful, angry energy clawing at his barrier. Dorian and Felix lent their power to it, preventing Solas’ protection from crumbling. With the foci returned to him, that was hardly necessary. But Solas had a part to play, so he refrained from using the power of the foci to attack or defend, and instead bound it to him, removing the taint of Corypheus’ influence on it. Corypheus stared at him, consumed with rage as Solas smirked. He had no chance of winning against them now. Solas turned his gaze to Nina, who was wiping blood off her nose, but sniggering, clearly pleased with herself. She picked up her warhammer and flung herself at Corypheus, who noted their exchange then turned his full attention to Nina. Before Solas had a chance to attack, put up a barrier, _anything_ to prevent whatever Corypheus had planned.

“ ** _No!_ ** ” Solas screamed.

It was too late.

Corypheus sent a torrent of attacks at Nina, and while her magic had improved greatly, it couldn't stand up to his even without the power of the orb. She fell on all fours, coughing up blood. Solas surged forward, but he was not fast enough- _move, damn it!_ _Nina needs you_ ** _now!_**

Corypheus sent out a blast, throwing all the warriors, save Nina, backwards. Solas was just outside the radius of the spell and continued forward. Corypheus sneered. Solas felt Corypheus set up a forcefield around himself and Nina, blocking anyone from entering. Cassandra screamed with effort and fury as she fought against the barrier. Solas watched in horror as Corypheus floated over to where Nina was just beginning to struggle to stand, her mana drained. Solas forgot their plans and his role and reached for the power contained in his foci just as Corypheus curled one of his mangled hands around Nina’s throat. Solas shaped the familiar power of the foci, an unnoticeable fragment pulsing through him. He could make it, distract Corypheus enough to keep Nina-

Solas was close enough to hear the crunch as her neck snapped.

_No._

Corypheus released his hold on her. She fell to the floor, lifeless.

**_NO!_ **

The world stopped moving. Solas felt his limbs go numb, his heart clenched in his chest as he forgot to breathe. Then Solas forgot everything he was supposed to do, everything he was supposed to _be_ , all of their carefully laid out plans, and gave in to the other person he _could_ be; the creature he locked away.

Fen’harel.

Anger devoured his grief. Snarling, he moved forward at a deliberate pace, sending people flying with little more than a thought to clear a path directly from him to Corypheus. Leliana, Dorian, and Cassandra looked on in shock, Varric out of sight but audibly cursing, and Alexius merely shielded his son from the monster before them. The monster _he_ became.

Corypheus turned his attention towards Solas, recognizing the power he held, the face underneath the mask that Solas had cast aside. Corypheus’ dragon screeched, pulling up behind them as Solas reached the forcefield and shattered it, the thundering of the force of his will echoing off the walls as everyone looked on in silence. Solas attacked Corypheus, a spell of fury and domination. The dragon shielded him, taking the brunt of the attack and screeching in response. Corypheus staggered backwards into the creature, away from the blast, but not far enough away.

_You gave him but a taste of what is to come, then._

Solas picked up Nina’s body as the dragon picked up Corypheus and flew them both away to safety. The Venatori had long since left.

Solas would have his revenge. Not immediately. Not here. But soon.

There were quiet murmurs around him. His attention was needed elsewhere now. Finally he looked down at her face and he remembered.

_Nina will live again._

He turned around and faced her- their- companions.

“This is not the end,” he told them gravely. “Have the wounded receive treatment. Leliana, Cassandra, Varric...and Dorian. Come with me.”

Without another word, without waiting for their compliance, he walked out of the room, his foci nestled between his chest and where he clutched Nina’s body to him. The precious shell that contained his vhenan.

_What do I tell them?_

He walked out into the long hallway, mind racing. He had to find an empty room, secluded from the others. He heard footsteps behind him. Someone was sniffling. He would soon ease their pain.

 _But_ **_what do I tell them_ ** _?_

Nina had not wanted anyone to know. They had not discussed what to do in the event that she died. What had she said? The resurrection condition had “setbacks.” He wished now they had discussed what would happen in the event she...died. He had no idea what these setbacks would be. The possibilities were endless.

She would come back to life without any of them having to take some action to ensure it. She would have said so otherwise. She surely would have.

Solas finally found a room that was suitable for the conversation that was fast approaching. He had decided on the nobles’ private quarters. He laid Nina down on the lavish bed gently, caressing her cheek as he had after their first conversation in the Fade.

That felt like an age ago.

Sighing, he pulled up a chair and laced his fingers together, his elbows on the bed, as he decided what to say.

The others gathered around the bed, looking to him for answers, consolation, or both. Naturally, Varric was the first to break the silence. His voice was hoarse, but he managed to utter the question on everyone’s minds: “What do we do now?”

Solas kept his gaze on Nina.

“Cassandra, Varric. You are familiar with Nina’s ‘conditions.’ She...she told me in confidence the nature of the final condition.”

The two he referred to stared at him expectantly while Dorian and Leliana looked on in confusion.

“What are these ‘conditions,’ and how do they help us now?” Leliana demanded.

Cassandra answered slowly, “They are defining aspects of Nina’s arrival in Thedas. She calls the aspects conditions. Her elvhen heritage, her warhammer, her fighting skills and magical abilities...all of these are conditions she set for her life in Thedas.”

Solas peered at Nina as if he could bring her back through sheer force of will alone.

Varric added, “She even has a condition that she gets a chest full of stuff from her home universe. That was part of how she convinced us that her story was true.”

“So...anything she wanted coming to our universe, she could have had?” Dorian asked, still seemingly confused. “Why not come with the power to kill Corypheus and be done with it?”

“I do not believe that is how it works,” Solas said softly. He felt their gazes collectively turn to him.

Cassandra demanded, “What did you mean ‘this is not over’? How did you wield that such power so easily? You will tell us what you know, _now,”_ she finished, drawing her sword.

_Always tending towards violence in times of uncertainty._

Dorian took several steps away from her. “Now, now, let’s not do anything rash! He’s going to tell us everything. Right, er, Solas? Please tell the nice woman with the very large sword that you have answers,” Dorian pleaded, trying and failing to defuse the situation.

Leliana’s silence spoke volumes, placing her on Cassandra’s side.

Varric mumbled, “Good luck calming her down with the truth, Chuckles.”

 _You have little choice. Tell them, Dread Wolf. Nina will understand._ Ignoring the blade pointed at him, Solas calmly explained, “Nina will return to life. She cannot die a permanent death in Thedas until her mission here is complete. And it is far from over.” He paused, considering his next words carefully. Feeling like a hypocrite for betraying Nina’s secret but not his own, he finished, “I can use the orb because I have studied it in the Fade. It is elvhen in origin. Corypheus twisted it to suit his demands, and I have restored it to its original form. It is no more harmful than the one who bears it.”

That was all he could- would- offer them now.

“And are _you_ harmful?” Leliana asked, sharp as ever. _You will not be able to simply wave away their concerns, old wolf. You crossed a line and showed them a glimpse of who you truly are. And for that you shall pay dearly._

“If you are asking if I am a threat to the Inquisition, the answer is no, Lady Nightingale. To Corypheus on the other hand…“ His face darkened. “I will doom him to a fate far worse than death.”

“Well, _that_ I can get behind,” Varric grunted.

Cassandra stared at him a moment longer before sheathing her sword. Finally she spoke. “I think we can all agree on retribution, Varric. Solas, when will Nina return to us?” the Seeker asked, her tone still harsh.

“I do not know,” he whispered. “All we can do is wait. She told me nothing of what would happen when she died, only that it would not be permanent.”

Dorian looked ill. “Does that mean she could come back as one of the undead? What does ‘not be permanent’ even mean? That wording is exceptionally and worryingly vague,” he concluded.

“I do not know!” Solas shouted, standing to face them at last. His outburst surprised and scared them.

_Understandably so._

He sighed. “I will watch over her. We need to keep this secret contained. Tell the soldiers...and Alexius and Fiona...that I kept her from the brink of death. Tell them it was the power of Corypheus’ orb. Leliana, I trust you can spin a convincing lie for our people?”

“No. When she returns to us, it will be a miracle; the Maker’s doing.” Cassandra stared him down.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “That is not what she would want.”

“I agree with Chuckles, Seeker. This is no time to be furthering Chantry agendas. We need to keep her true identity a secret.”

Leliana countered, “She would want what is best for the Inquisition. Tales of her coming back to life by the will of the Maker will further our standing with the people. Her legend will grow, and our influence will grow with it.”

“This is not a matter that is up for debate,” Solas hissed. “She would not want such lies spread to turn her into an Andrastian legend! She would want-”

Dorian interrupted, “It sounds like none of you know what she would truly want, so why not simply avoid answering questions and wait until she wakes up to decide what to tell people regarding her very personal and unbelievable secret?”

Solas stared at him. He could understand why Nina was so fond of Dorian. They were much alike.

Varric nodded. “I agree wholeheartedly. Nightingale, you can keep rumors under wraps until she wakes up, right?” Varric asked.

Leliana pursed her lips. “Yes. I can. Cassandra?”

The Seeker relented, “We should wait to hear from Nina what to do next. Everyone, I believe there is work for us to do. Dorian, you will serve as liaison to Alexius and the rebel mages until further notice. Leliana and Varric, you tend to the soldiers and quell any unsavory rumors that are spreading. Use discretion. I will write the reports to send to Cullen and Josephine. We need to begin the evacuation to Skyhold immediately. Corypheus will not remain idle for long. Solas,” she finished turning towards the elf, distrust painted clearly across her face. “Because I doubt we could force you to do otherwise, you will watch over Nina until she returns to us. The moment she is awake, you send for all of us. Understood?”

She was hardly in a position to order him. But he knew she was afraid, and that playing the role of the docile apostate would quell her fears, even if only slightly.

He bowed his head. “I understand.”

She nodded sharply. “Good. Everyone, to work.”

With that they all set out to complete their separate tasks. Varric gave Solas a sympathetic smile before he exited. He found himself grateful for that small kindness. _Not everyone only sees a monster._

Solas returned to his chair beside Nina’s bed. He could heal her body, repair it, even if there was no soul inside. No essence of who she was. Is. Will be.

He removed her armor and cleaned the gore from her face before repairing what was broken. Her neck was the most difficult. After doing what he could, she looked much more peaceful. Grasping her hand in his, he whispered to her in elvhen, “ _Wake up, my ferocious little diamond. The world is ready for your triumphant return.”_

He expression remained unchanged. No twitch, no hint of mana coursing through her. Part of him began to fear she would never wake up. _Remember her promise. She will not leave you._

_Please, Nina. Wake up._

  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina gets hit with some serious truth bombs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I got this up so late- it was a crazy day/week/month...you get the idea. Also, fair warning, shit's about to get weird.  
> Enjoy!

Nina was on the balcony of a house, the architecture of which she had never before seen. But somehow she knew it was a house. She was seated on what resembled a porch swing which swung in the air as if hung by invisible strings from an absent beam. She was on the top floor of the house, overlooking a beach with a churning ocean. The sky was a tumultuous grey and completely overcast.

A woman in a white dress with long billowing sleeves was seated next to Nina on the porch swing, her pale blonde hair tied back into an intricate bun on the top of her head. The woman looked at her kindly.

“Do you know who I am?”

Nina searched her face for familiar features and felt…

Nothing.

“I have no idea,” she admitted. The woman looked sad. _Shit, no. I can_ ** _feel_** _her sadness._ It was the kind of ache you felt after losing someone, someone close, like a mother losing her-

Nina’s eyes widened. “M-mom?” she stuttered.

The woman smiled but her eyes were still pained; she still felt like there was a hole in her heart. “You sensed it. But you do not remember me, my dear child.” The woman stated it as a matter of fact, not a hint of uncertainty in her voice or mind.

“Yeah, I did. How can I sense you? I thought I could only sense emotions because of my magic. But I died, right? So outside of Thedas means no magic which means no sensing emotions. Here is...where the fuck are we?”

Nina’s mother sighed. “Across every one of your lives, you were always foul mouthed. I wonder why that is? Then again, why are any of our constants what they are when we become others.”

_Okay, come again?_ “‘When we become others?’ ‘Across lives?’ I’ve lived more lives than the ones on Thedas and Earth?” Nina’s voice reached a shrill pitch. Her mother put her hands on either side of Nina’s face and whispered, “ _Remember who you are.”_

Flashes of lifetimes.

A boy running through a park. She laughed as he played and squealed with the other children. Her child-

A scientist in the field, deep underneath the ocean. Tail moving, keeping her body at the right height to take these readings. This meant all of her life’s work-

Whooping, running on all fours, thrills and fears making her feel so alive as the green foliage whipped around her, the snarling predator not far behind-

Thunderous noises, screaming trills from her clansmen, the volcano erupting as the last of them make it to the fallout shelter, but not her, she’s too-

_Further back. To the beginning._

“I...I was a- no. I _am_ many things. But First I was your Eldest. When I came of age, I joined the adults in living Many Lives. We tried to find the meaning of life or our place in the universe by understanding the lives of all others. I...have no name. I have younger siblings. You...you are my only parent. We have no gender. No names, no genders, and yet every name and every gender. We are multitudes, we Become everyone.”

Her mother nodded, “Good. This is what we are. But do you know why you forgot? Do you remember what you did?”

Nina searched through the haze of lives, linearity of experience losing all meaning as she became who she was First and lived the Many Lives, repeating into infinity, experiences and emotions overwhelming her until she willed everything to snap into place as she had at the Conclave.

_Oh, those motherfuckers._

“ _They made me forget!_ I only wanted them to live with humility and compassion, to uphold the values and mission of our people and they _doomed_ me to Become what they Become! Those fuckers who would be Gods!” Nina shouted. The resurrection condition. How could she have been so stupid? No, they planted her on Earth with that Life and no knowledge of the consequences. She blindly followed the path laid out for her because there were no alternatives. But now she remembered.

To become a God as her enemies did, one must arrive in a universe with conditions set. Everyone did this, it was the way to live the Many Lives. But the wannabe-Gods discovered that by adding a resurrection condition- one that states that you cannot leave a universe for good until you have completed a predetermined mission- one can lose all but the final condition and resurrect as God over the universe they have traveled to. Which is exactly what Nina did and is now doomed to Become.

Her mother winced. “They hear you in this place, child. They did not want you to remember, but you were already starting to display traits of the Final Form- Godhood- and I convinced them to let me talk to you. As you get closer to losing all of your conditions, the traits of Godhood and the traits of our people manifest. This is why you sense emotions there. But Eldest...I cannot guarantee you will remember everything when you return-”

“The hell I won't! You false Gods will crumble against the revolution whether they have me or not! My siblings will rise and our numbers will grow as your tyranny is exposed to _all of our people!_ You cannot hide your monstrosity forever! This will not be enough to destroy the legitimacy of our movement!” Nina shouted again, this time directing her voice to the heavens. She didn't need to shout for them to hear her, but it felt good, damn it. She wasn’t entirely convinced about the last part, however. If the leader of the revolution Became a God, and ruled over a universe as the enemy ruled…

_That could irrevocably fuck us._

Her mother waited patiently through her tirade and rollercoaster of emotions, knowing the conclusion Nina reached. “Your siblings wanted to be here, you know. They wouldn't let them come. Because I never officially joined your revolution, they do not see me as a threat.”

“I still can't believe you won't act. This could be your fight. You don't have to let the new generation lead yours forever, mother.”

“I know, Eldest. But I believe in my children. They will shape our people’s future. It is simply the way of things.”

Nina sighed in frustration. This was an old argument that never had a solution, and there were more pressing matters. “My siblings will continue without me? What can I do during my punishment to help?”

Thunder cracked in the sky. The wannabe-Gods did not like this line of questioning, apparently. _Shitheads._

“You are to do nothing. Live the Life that is your punishment. Become the Final Form when you must. But what you do _when_ you reach the Form is entirely up to you.” He mother looked at her intently. Nina sensed her emotions and knew in an instant what she meant.

She would be an example of how to wield the Final Form with the ideals of her revolution in mind- the _original_ ideals of her people. She would not be a God like them. No, when the time came she would be a God of compassion.

That could work. That could be the compromise that the older generation would accept and the younger generation would conform to.

_Solas is gonna shit bricks when I tell him about this. If I remember everything._

She looked back up at her mother, then addressed the sky once more. “How much will I remember?”

She and her mother listened for a moment but there was only silence. They would not give her any warning.

Nina sighed. “So even if I forget everything, all I have to do is be a better God than them and the revolution may live on to effectively win the war,” Nina clarified. She knew immediately from her mother’s emotions that this was correct. The sky crackled, the sound almost...laughter. They didn’t believe she would accomplish this.

Nina ignored them. As did her mother.

“Yes. However, I can tell you the condition you will lose is your weapon and ability to wield it. And to clarify the vague condition you set regarding magic: the strength of your abilities is tied to the man you...well. You know. The strength of your bond determines your magical prowess. Remember this and you will be fine in that universe.”

_Huh. That...makes a lot of sense._

She sensed that her mother was not yet finished. She continued, “Although, Eldest...as I said, you will continue to display traits of the Final Form and of Godhood as time progresses in that world. You have already defied the laws of that world. This will continue, almost spinning out of control, until you reach the Final Form and have the ability to restore balance.”

_Well, shit._ That would make things...complicated when she got back. Controlling the scope of her abilities would have to be a top priority.

They nodded to each other, comprehension conveyed in an instant. “I think it is time you returned, Eldest, though I am sad to see you go so soon. The next time you die on that world…”

Nina’s sadness matched her mother’s. “I won’t see you again. I won’t see you until I reach the Final Form and can return home.” Nina’s mother nodded, her eyes brimming with tears.

Nina pulled her in for a hug, fighting back tears of her own.

“You can win this fight, Eldest. The war is coming to an end, one way or another. Just return to me safely.”

“I promise, mother. Tell my siblings I love them. And that I’m not going down without a fight,” Nina grimaced, pulling away. Wordlessly, they told each other how much they loved one another.

Everything became white and Nina felt herself jerk back into her body in Thedas.

Memories of what occurred before her death flooded her in an instant.

_She sensed Solas’ magic and the magic of the foci resonate, becoming in tune. Corypheus realized it, felt himself be stripped of the power that made him a god. But he was still powerful, and still immortal. He returned his attention to Nina, vengeance lighting his sickly dark eyes. Before she could brace herself, or chastise herself for her recklessness- anything- he bombarded her with attacks. She felt the sting of each one. Without her enchanted armor, she would have been dead. Some way back part of her mind acknowledged Solas yelling. Falling to her knees, barely holding herself up, she felt her stomach heave and watched as blood spilled from her lips and pooled beneath her. Faintly, she heard soldiers bellowing, commotion, felt a surge of magic. She struggled to stand. Cassandra was screaming. Nina was almost upright, almost ready for whatever came next, but not fast enough. Without warning, she was lifted above the ground, struggling to breathe, barely able to see her attacker, but furious. She reached for her magic, feeling that the well of mana was bone-dry, but she could feel the foci. Hopeful, she sent her senses towards it, sensed Solas tapping into the foci, and then the tightening claw around her neck and…_

_Nothingness._

Her mind returned to the present. Her eyes were closed, she was laying on something soft, and Solas was next to her, terrified. She realized she hadn't breathed during her flashback. Gingerly, slowly, she took a deep breath and immediately felt Solas’ alarm.

“Fucking _ow,”_ was all she could manage as she opened her eyes and adjusted to this Life.

“You are in pain? I healed you as best I could, but you were a corpse, and there was little I…” Solas stared at her wide-eyed, a flurry of relief and anxiety. Nina sat up, grunting with the effort, and hugged him. He returned the embrace, nearly crushing her with the force of it.

“I forgot your death was not permanent. I...I used the power of the foci in front of everyone. I thought I had lost you,” he whispered.

“Shhh, my sweet wolf. It’s alright. Tell me everything.”

“I showed them who I really am. Fen’harel. Cassandra and Leliana have lost their faith in me completely. They are...they wanted to tell the soldiers who witnessed your death that Andraste saved you. They think only of furthering the agenda of the Chantry and forget the larger picture,” he spat.

_Someone has lost their patience with those two. It was only a matter of time, really._

“So have they? Told everyone...that.” She sounded bitter, even to herself.

Solas met her gaze with a ferocity that told her the answer to her question without Solas having to say a word. She sighed, “Then I suppose that now that I'm awake we’ll have to come up with a way to address that. But...wait a minute. They saw you use the orb...did you explain...?”

He looked away. He was clearly guilty and Nina narrowed her eyes at him as he spoke.

“I did not tell them about Fen’harel. Only that the orb is an elvhen foci that I have studied in the Fade.”

Nina pinched the bridge of her nose. That was less than ideal. “Solas, they're going to find out eventually and when they do, they're going to remember this moment as a betrayal. Why you didn’t just...argh.” She was not happy.

“I am sorry. I...I told them about your resurrection condition as well.” He was afraid of her reaction. He knew her well enough to know she’d be angry. _And you can bet your wolfy little ass I am, Solas._

“Solas, I can’t believe- you told them _my_ secret, but not your own? Fuck. That...that's not okay.” She paused, then grumbled, “And they still wanted to spout some nonsense about me being saved by Andraste, despite knowing the truth? I mean, we can’t make the truth known to all of Thedas for damn sure, and people are more likely to believe Andraste brought me back, but that’s hardly enough reason to...ARGH.”

Solas waited patiently through her internal-turned-external dialog, as always. He was relieved she was not more angry. She mostly just felt tired. She had been back for what, five minutes?

_Wait, shit, I’m forgetting the most pressing issue right now._

She finally recalled that the wanna-be Gods had something planned for her upon her return to Thedas, and whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Nina pulled away from Solas and closed her eyes. She murmured, “I need to take inventory of the situation. I need to know how much I remember…then I can explain everything that happened while I was...dead...and we can figure out what to do about Thedas.”

He was confused and worried. “As you wish.”

_Still gotta explain The Princess Bride to him. Now let’s see…_

She remembered what she was. She remembered that her siblings were fighting the war in her absence. She remembered all of the conversation with her mother.

_Fuck, no warrior status. Guess I’ll be a full-time mage from now on._

Her bond with Solas was the key to her magical abilities. Indeed, her magic was like an extension of his while remaining its own force. Like she needed more reasons to be close to him.

_What else, what else..._

Her eyes shot wide open open as she found what they took.  _Oh, no. Oh, fucking no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaand sorry for the massive cliff-hanger, but this was the only way to end this chapter that was remotely satisfactory for me. Hang in there!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina finds out what the enemy took from her and has to split her attention between her First life and her life on Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More weirdness. Next week there won't be an update because of grad school stuff and because I have to do some rewrites. Sorry, y'all. But it'll be better this way, trust me.
> 
> Much love to all my readers <3

Panic took over in an instant. Nina clutched her hand over her heart, chest heaving. Tears began to stream down her face.

**_They took my Many Lives._ ** _ Oh gods. I lost them. I lost all of them. Except Nina and my first form, but I can't- that's only two! Billions of Lives! They might as well have killed ALL OF ME.  _

Because compared to the billions that she once was, the billions that she remembered feeling...being only Nina felt like nothing.

_“_ ** _I lost them!_** ” she screamed, sobbing. Solas moved to sit next to her on the bed. “Solas, THEY TOOK THEM FROM ME! Those motherfuckers, I can’t believe they did that! I had lived billions of lives, and THEY TOOK THEM ALL! Except Nina...she’s all I have left… ** _what the_** **_fuck do I do now?!_** ”

She put her head in her hands, too overcome by grief to fully acknowledge Solas’ growing alarm, or the fact that Cassandra and Varric had entered the room, drawn in by the sounds of her screaming. Some small part of her noted Cassandra’s anger, relief, fear...Varric’s concern. Solas, wanting to help. Wanting to understand.

So he held her while she cried. It was all he knew he could do. Cassandra and Varric just stood nearby, sad and confused by her current state. And she couldn’t explain it to them. Solas  _ might _ understand; he had lived through enough millennia to know something similar to what she knew and lost, but the mortals? No. They could not comprehend her loss. And she had no intention of telling them all of the details of what she was. 

_ I can’t tell them who I was, now. Not really. So much for complete transparency about myself. But I can’t...how can I be transparent with them if I can’t even put it into words? Don’t even know where to try? _

It felt as if she had been killed a billion times over, as if she were violated and lobotomized in the most intimate way. She would never forgive the enemy for this. 

She had remained that way, sobbing in Solas’ arms, for some time. His grief and the concern of her other companions present but paling in comparison to the emptiness she felt. 

Her crying slowed as realization crept in, past her emptiness and grief. Removing the Many Lives was a crime so atrocious to her people that it had never before been committed. It was always acknowledged as a possibility from a purely academic sense, but never put into practice. If the enemy had done this to her,  _ punished _ her in this way, that meant they were certain she would become a God as they did. They no longer viewed her as a threat.

_ Big mistake. A mistake that will cost them the war. _

Anger filled the giant hole they had left in her. Anger and determination. She and the other revolutionaries would win the war. Whatever it took.

“Nina? What happened?” Cassandra asked gently, feeling that Nina had calmed down enough to talk with them.

Nina dried her eyes, hiccuping. She looked over at Cassandra over Solas’ arms, which were still around her.  _ And that’s where I want them to stay. _

“I just...I lost something. I remember what I am. I had enemies. They stole something from me...something that means  _ everything. _ I...don’t know if I can get it back. In fact I’m pretty sure it’s impossible. But my enemies? Oh, they are going to fucking pay for what they’ve done,” Nina swore. 

Varric nodded sympathetically, confused still, but...he understood her hurt. “I’m so sorry, ruby. If you want to talk about it, you know I have an open door policy.”

“Thanks, Varric. I may need time to...process, but that isn’t important right now. What is important is moving forward. I’m back, and we have the orb. Solas?” She didn't give them any indication that Solas had told her what happened. Now that she remembered...she couldn't tell anyone but him. In a twisted way, she understood why he kept everyone at such a distance, spinning whatever lies he had to spin in order to maintain that distance. 

The fact that he had used the orb might fuck up their plans a little. Okay, a lot. But they hadn’t actually planned on getting the orb back at all. Nina was just hoping she would be able to steal it back using the magic she had learned in the Fade. The fact that she was able to pull it off…

_ Shit, could it be because I’m getting close to the Final Form? _

Solas shifted to face Cassandra, pulling Nina out of her thoughts. She needed to focus on  _ this _ life, damn it. 

“I am able to use the orb.”

Cassandra glared at him. “I don’t think he is being entirely honest with us, Nina. He says he learned how to use it in the Fade, but there was something about the way he  _ changed _ when he used it after you...died. And he was able to keep Corypheus from taking it back. How is that possible?” she accused. 

Nina looked back and forth between Solas and Cassandra, then over at Varric. He held up his hands and huffed, “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m staying out of this mess. When the Seeker is this kind of angry, I just back away.”

Nina nodded at him sagely. “Wise words, master author. Cassandra, Solas, I take it you two aren’t getting along?” Nina scooted backwards away from Solas so that she could look at them both. 

“She would use your resurrection to further her Andrastian agenda,” Solas declared, clearly disgusted.  _ Oh, right. That. _

“To benefit the Inquisition! Nina, this presents us with a perfect opportunity to rally more of the faithful to our side!”

Nina shook her head. “Lies and deceit of this nature are not the foundation we want for the Inquisition, Cassandra. We’ll tell them that it was the power of the elvhen orb that Corypheus stole, which  _ we _ stole back, that prevented me from dying. As far as anyone is concerned, Solas used the orb to protect me and put me in a comatose state to  _ convince _ Corypheus that I was dead. But we only tell the people who were there and swear them to secrecy. Is everyone on board with this?”

She looked back and forth between Solas and Cassandra. They were still glaring daggers at each other.  _ Oh, for fuck’s sake. _

“ _ Is everyone on board with this? _ Or should I go out and tell everyone I’m from a universe-hopping alien species who has come to Thedas to destroy the forces of evil? No? Okay, I didn’t think so. Varric, spread the word. Cassandra, try to figure out where we are with the templars. I want them sworn to an allegiance with the Inquisition as soon as possible. Solas and I need to figure out what we’re doing about Corypheus. He will bring me up to speed and then we’ll find Alexius and get him to help us figure out Corypheus’ next move. Has the evacuation to Skyhold begun?”

“I sent a raven while you were...comatose,” Cassandra informed her. 

“Alright, good. Varric, no embellishing the story. Now move it, people, we’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do everything! Let’s go!” 

To their credit, Cassandra and Varric shot out of the room pretty quickly at that, Cassandra shooting Solas one last dirty look. She resented his closeness to Nina, didn’t understand why they had a deeper bond over the same period of time. Which was tough. Nina couldn’t go there with her. Not now. But she would need to mend their relationship soon. 

Rubbing her temples, Nina sighed. She had other things to focus on right now. Like bringing the only person she trusted with her secrets up to speed.

“So, the consequence for dying is that I lose one or more conditions. I lost Eowyn and my fighting abilities. Which means I have magic, my chests full of goodies, and my life as an elf. The life as an elf will be the last condition to go before I resurrect as a God,” she stated seriously, watching and sensing Solas’ reaction.

It was one of disbelief. 

_ Go figure. The ancient elvhen god doesn’t believe that I’ll become a true God of this universe. _

“I’m serious Solas. I can explain the how and why later, but...yeah. That’s what’s going on. And when I become a God I’ll have to decide what kind of God to be. The future of my species is dependent on me being the  _ right _ kind of God. I have an idea for that, but hopefully I won’t die again any time soon and we won’t have to worry about it for a while.”

Solas stared at her like she had grown another head. “We must discuss this  _ at great length _ when we have time, Nina. This is no small matter.”

She snorted.  _ No shit. _

He ignored her response. “For the immediate future, since you have lost your fighting abilities, I assume you will be relying on your magic?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Then we will need to begin your training in earnest.”

“I agree. I also found out more about the vague magic ability condition. In essence, my magic is an extension of yours that I am only able to tap into when our bond is strong. The stronger the bond, the more I can tap into our magic. Before I died, when my mana was depleted, I was able to sense the orb and what you were doing with it, so I’m pretty sure I can use it as well as you can.”

Solas sat in silence for a moment, letting everything sink in. Nina felt the moment he passed from disbelief to acceptance. 

Solas finally replied, “I see. Given the circumstances, that seems as plausible an explanation as any, and makes sense given your progress with your training and our...relationship. Now, to bring you up to speed on what everyone has done…”

It had been a day since Corypheus attacked. The Arl had returned and was graciously allowing the Inquisition to remain in his castle while their wounded healed, and in return the uninjured were cleaning up the castle. They would be ready to move out in a matter of days.

Word of Corypheus’ attack and the Inquisition’s victory had already spread as far as Val Royeaux. The Chantry wanted to meet with Nina and a party of the Inquisition leadership. Josie was trying to prepare Skyhold so that they could receive envoys from the Chantry there. Leliana’s spies had heard of a faction of the templars that wanted to break off and join the Inquisition. Those are the templars Cassandra would contact as per Nina’s instructions. They might not save all of the templars from Corypheus’ clutches, but they would save a great many of them. Nina was relieved. 

The Winter Palace Masquerade was in the planning stages. Upon conferring with Alexius, Nina and Solas agreed that Corypheus would likely still try to assassinate the Empress to create chaos for Fear to feed on so that Corypheus could maintain his supply of demons. Nina and Solas also believed that Corypheus would attack once the Breach was sealed, which again Alexius deemed likely. 

Once Morrigan joined up with them- and Nina was determined that she would- then they could protect the Well from Corypheus, which Solas and Nina agreed would be high on the blighted magister’s to-do list. Solas’ agents had already warned Abelas and the others’ of the attack, and they will contact Solas when Corypheus strikes.

All that remained was the discussion of recruiting the other companions. Nina had argued with Solas over this a great deal over the last few weeks. He didn’t think them necessary to the cause, and believed they would only complicate things. Nina was of a mind that they needed all the allies they could get, and she already sort of knew everyone and could use that to their advantage. Ultimately, Nina won the argument, and they would be contacting all of the companions to invite them to Skyhold. Nina couldn’t wait to meet the rest of them.

The day came to an end, and everything felt like it was in motion. Nina still had a lot to process. That night in the Fade, she confided in Solas the full truth of her identity and explained the war that she had started.

They were seated in her favorite spot on her favorite stretch of beach. The sun was warming their bodies, but the emptiness of their setting clearly reflected how she felt; surrounded by the familiar, and yet even the familiar was wrong. There should be people. There should be many things. But...for now, this was her reality. And she would bear it.

Nina and Solas were sitting side by side, feet just close enough to the tide that it crashed over their toes, up to their ankles, from time to time. Nina thought she could do this. Thought she could have this conversation. 

Now she didn't know where to begin to explain who she was, let alone what she lost.

And so Solas was the first to speak. 

“ _ What is wrong, my diamond?” _

Nina felt numb. “ _ I don't know how to put my loss into words, my sweet wolf. I suppose...it is easier to tell you of my people. We...are from another universe. We wanted to understand the universe and our place in it. My people are those among our species who decided discovering such things meant living what we came to call the Many Lives. We traveled to other universes by the same means I traveled to Thedas. I lived...is there even a word for it in this tongue? Thousands of thousands of  _ **_thousands_ ** _ of lives. You have lived what people now consider many lifetimes, right?”  _ Nina looked Solas in the eyes now, pleading for some understanding. She felt it. Oh gods, she felt it. He knew. He knew what she was getting at.

“ _ That is what they stole from you?” _ His anger was thinly veiled, absolutely boiling against the surface. Nina’s despair threatened to overwhelm her again, clawing and howling inside her. She couldn't hide it.

“ _ My diamond. I am so sorry _ ,” he pulled her to him. “ _ I wish I could take this pain from you. _ ”

“ _ No! _ ” Nina shouted, pulling away. “ _ I need to remember. I need to feel this! This life, these experiences, are all I have left! And what I need now are these experiences and this anger. _ ” 

_ Angry crying would probably send the wrong message right now.  _ So instead she plowed forward. “That's not all. My enemies. I mentioned that I will die and become a God over this universe. My enemies are a faction among my people who discovered that when we travel to other universes, by traveling with a resurrection condition we will ultimately resurrect as a God. They liked the power. They enjoy…what they’re capable of. The things they've done, Solas. It's unforgivable. Treating entire worlds like they are nothing but playpens, treating the lives of others as playing pieces in some game. Their actions...I cannot begin to tell you the monstrosity of them.”

“I can only imagine. You know I have seen how mere perceived godhood corrupts. If actual godhood were obtained…” He stared out at the sea, lost in thought. 

Nina sighed. “Exactly. So when my siblings and I discovered what the wannabe-Gods had done, how addicted to their power they had become, we protested. Told the older generations. Our people have a custom to let the younger generations choose the direction of our people. And so the war began. My siblings and I call for revolution to abolish the practices of Godhood the enemy espouses, but they have become very good at hiding the depth of their depravity. Not all of our people realize what they’ve done. When I finish my mission on Thedas, or reach Godhood, whichever comes first, I will be able to return to my people and show them how far the enemy is willing to go. And then the war will be over.”

Solas looked at her fondly. He understood  _ her _ and understood why she chose to start a revolution. She knew he would.

They talked a while longer about Nina’s people. Solas was as curious about other worlds as ever. Nina still felt the sting from losing her Many Lives. She always would. But revenge fueled her. She wouldn’t stop until her mission in Thedas was complete and her Godhood defied her enemies’ expectations. They would pay for what they’ve done to her, and those they ruled over. She told herself the revenge would be sweet. 

_ Then why do I have such a bitter taste in my mouth? _


End file.
